Daisuke's Journal
by Asabeth-Blue
Summary: That's right, it's back! Just for those people who loved it so much! Daisuke writes about his Digidestined days
1. Ichi

Daisuke's Journal 

[Ichi]

+ Journal Entry, Ichi +

My name is Motomiya Daisuke, though I have also been known by the shortened Americanised version of my name, Davis. I am 11 years old, and, to make things interesting, I was not ever supposed to have been born.

All my life I have been ignored, beaten, or yelled at. No one ever seems to want me anywhere near them. I have been laughed at, yelled at, made fun of, beaten up, and ordered around. And that's just by my father…

Our neighbours, family members, and friends respect my parents. Everyone loves them, and of course, everyone refers to Jun as 'The Motomiya Princess'.

Jun. My parents couldn't be bothered thinking of a name for me, so she got to. She called me Daisuke after the character of a book she was reading, and Akaidra after the Enemy in the same book (Which was a red Dragon).

No one ever notices me though. And when they do, it's normally not a good thing. I'm the 'Black sheep' of the family, kept around so as not to spoil their image. I'm the one all the blame for Jun goes to. I'm the one they forget in crucial moments. I'm the one they could do without.

I'm the 'Motomiya Brat', the 'Mistake', the Soccer player, the Jerk, the idiot, the goggle boy… and the list goes on. Those are also only from my parents and Jun. To tell you about the people I call 'friends' at school would not only be a waste of my time, but would also require more detail. And I'd rather not go back to any of that right now.

Everyone has something their afraid of, everyone has had some sort of experience in their past which caused them to fear something in the present. Jun's afraid of escalators, because when she was six she tripped and fell on the last step. Mom's afraid of my dad, because of the business he leads, and lies he tells. My friend Hikari is mostly afraid of the dark. I know that her brother, Taichi, for some reason is afraid of Vampires, and one of my teachers if afraid of the automatic Pencil sharpener.

My dad… he isn't afraid of anything. He always has a calm, cool demeanour about him that causes people to turn and look. He's always collected and charming to everyone, to his boss and friends, and especially to the police. In fact, some of his best friends are actually policemen, or relations of someone who works for the government.

Me, I'd say to anyone who asked that I wasn't afraid of anything, not even a great large creature like a Vampire or a Dragon. But I'd be lying, with all the accuracy and charm only the son of a Motomiya could have. But to tell the truth, to you I would say, I am afraid of everything. I am an utter coward, even afraid of my own friends.

I was afraid of Hikari, thinking she'd become one of those high-class girls who always looked down on me and made fun of me, to my face. But she didn't.

In fact, the first time I met her she'd only just been dropped off at school and had instantly came right up to me, seeing I was a new kid. She was so very friendly, and bright and wonderful. That scared me even more than what I'd first thought. She'd laughed at the fact I wore goggles, sure, but she told me all about her big brother Taichi, and how he wore goggles too.

We were fast friends, she and I. For once I had a true friend, who actually saw me for who I really was; just a nice guy with a seeming obsession with soccer – which isn't actually true, but I'll get back to that later.

Then of course, as always, she made friends with people who hated me. Hell, everyone hates me, I can tell. But Hikari… she didn't hate me, at least not that I could tell. And for that reason I was afraid of her. I was so afraid of her, that I became very protective of her, like I did with all my friends and family.

That's my weakness you see? I am so possessive of everything I have – and even some that I don't – that its driven to a point that I'm almost like an obsessive-compulsive. Not that I care, not that anyone could ever actually notice.

My other weaknesses are that if someone were to ask me a question; an accurate, deep question, I _will_ answer it. There is no simple, or deep personal question I will not answer. I would actually tell my friends that I was afraid of them, if they asked. But they don't.

The other weakness is that I can't help but follow orders. If someone were to tell me, no, order me to do something stupid like wear a dress, or sing a song in a girls voice. I will do it. Down to the last letter, I will always follow orders. There are, however, some things I wont do. Like if someone orders me not to take orders. There's an oxymoron for you.

Only one person in the whole universe can order me to do something like that, and he's my dad.

You can't order me to commit suicide – doesn't that take some kind of free will or something? – Again only my dad can order me to kill myself.

You see the pattern here? Of course you should, because though I'm afraid of everyone, and probably everything, there is my greatest fear. There is the one thing in this world, and the next who I would never, ever disobey or even think of doing anything other than loving. He's my father.

I love my father very much, as well as all my family. They are all I have next to broken friendships, and an existence that should not be. I am, what people would call, an excuse for a better life.

'Darker the darkness, brighter the light' everything has to be in equilibrium.

I am the darkness, who balances out the light in the group. I'm only one of them as an extra, a balance, a number to fill out. When I'm sad, everyone else is happy; when I'm hurt, people are healing; when I'm dying, people are living.

Because I exist others can truly enjoy life, and call it their own. When I die others will be born to a life of absolute happiness, because I had existed.

It's a comforting thought really, knowing that I am the reason that others are happy.

I am the reason that others can fully appreciate their own free will, I am the reason that when it rains people can laugh, and I am also, sadly, the reason the game 'Truth or dare' was created. Okay not really, but you see I am part of a long line of people who have served as a balance for the rest of the world. I mean come on, there's no way I, one kid, can be the balance of dark and light for the _whole_ world!

It's almost like a group effort, our tormented souls bringing peace to others.

Nice to be a part of something, no matter how stupid, or worthless. At least I actually have a reason for my existence.

Now I know I must be carrying on, telling you about my pathetic life and all it stands for. But you see I'm not done, yet.

You see this? You see what I have here, covering my face? The thing I can take off and practically hold in my hand, the reason no one ever asks about me, about my home life? This mask is one of my best creations. You see I'm an artist, a poet, a writer and a lyricist. I actually have a website I made myself and everything I have is on there. It's called Calu Cali; it means 'Changing Light'. I made it up myself. It used to be a quiet mantra, which I would tell myself night after night. It worked too.

But I digress. This mask here, it is a perfect version of my odd sketches and paintings. I crafted it from when I was very small, from reading books, watching people and TV. I would watch everyone's smallest expressions, reactions, moods and personalities.

I had almost completed it when I met Taichi. Most of my mask was diverted from him. My lust for Soccer: Taichi; my hard-headedness: Taichi; my imitation of an idiot who couldn't get a B even if his life depended on it: a slight exaggeration of Taichi.

But that's not true either. I've been getting straight A's ever since I was old enough to get such a grade. My parents tried to get tutors to work with me, ignoring my A+'s and my college-level work, and saying I could do better. It came to a point where I asked one of my tutors – all of which were nice and probably good friends if they'd hung around long enough – if there was such a grade above an A+. She told me that an A+ is the best anyone could ever hope for. It was 100% and an Excellent rolled into one. She told me that to get higher than an A+ would mean becoming perfect, and no one is perfect.

I know I'm not.

All of them were nice to me, thinking my parents were the stupid ones, and asking my father –the wrong person to ask in my opinion – if I could be given someone else who taught a much advanced course of work. My dad simply said he'd think about it and gave me a Tutor below the last, thinking they were trying to bump me off onto someone else because of my stupidity and lack of attention.

Hell I bet I'm even smarter than he is! But I'd never say anything of the sort… not out loud, anyway.

I bet your wondering what my parents do for a living. Hell half the time I want to know that myself, but inside I know, I always know…

Dad works in an office building, doing Kami knows what with his computer in his office on the fifth floor. I know this because I visited him once. I think he helps make models of buildings, or something.

But I know what he really does, all those people he meets either at work, or in the alley outside the apartment, or even down near the hospital. Once he even went down to the church and the school, but that was when we still lived in Osaka.

My dad makes, finds, steals and sells drugs. Not your everyday nicotine/steroid combinations, but the good strong stuff you see used in hospitals, but only in emergencies. He sells the smaller stuff too, as well as some stuff he's cooked up himself. After he's sold it, anyone who ends up in the obituaries has nothing to do with him. They bought it so it's their fault.

My mom works at the hospital. She has the job of ordering and cataloguing all the medicine and supplies and things for the hospital. That's how dad got all his good stuff. Of course their many suppliers, as well as the hospital, want to know how come their supplies for the major drugs are always low in the reference, but almost always showing up on the order list.

It's sad, to those who don't fully understand it, anyway. Now Jun, she's innocent to this you see. She thinks her dad has a nice office job, and her moms an assistant doctor, or whatever. She doesn't know the background dirt. She doesn't know about some of the 'errands' dad sends me on to get some of his things. She doesn't know why I'm the only one who's ever visited our dad at his office, or why dad and mom are hardly ever home. Not that she ever is anyway.

Jun is Dad and Moms little angel. When she asks for something, most of the time she will get it, and those times when she doesn't, she'll probably get something better.

She has all the friends at school, and the 'good' grades, as well as the praise and love that I am not allowed to have. If Jun gets a B on her project or paper she's lavished with praise and gifts. When she gets an A, or perhaps an invitation to somewhere extra-special, she's given whatever she wants at all, whenever.

If I get an A Dad just tells me to do better. If I get invited into one of the 'smart clubs' at school dad rips up the paper and tells me I'm not worth it. If I win a prize for even the biggest thing he laughs and jokes, telling me that I shouldn't have entered in the first place.

It's sad. But I love my sister very much, and praise her along with my parents. Even if she gets an F I praise her good work, and tell her how much better she'd done than everyone else, only the teacher was too stupid to see it. I give her the attention and support she doesn't give me, and in return she tolerates me living in the same house as she does. When we lived in Osaka she had to put up with me living in the same room as her.

If anything were to happen to my family – be they killed, arrested, or simply vanish – I'd probably kill myself to stop the pain. Fact is I can't live without my family, no matter how many friends I make, or even if I fall in love.

I guess that's a little strange, but to explain this I'd have to tell you one thing: I can't hate. Whenever I have this urge to say I hate someone I just mentally beat myself up, so that I don't say it. Oh sure I can get angry at people, and even feel a slight tint of hatred, but I won't show it, and I won't say it; So therefore you'd have to believe that I simply can't hate.

Sure I hate some things, and would actually say so, like the cold, or some music, or movies, or maybe a web page I've found, or a comic, or even a type of food or drink; Half the time I wouldn't say so of course, but if someone asked me I'd tell them. And there we go, back to my weakness of answering questions again.

Some people think I'm self-centred and think about no one but myself, despite my 'obsessive-compulsive' actions of protection. But you see I actually believe that.

I believe that if I'm trying to please someone, then I'm doing it for myself. I believe that if I do something like return someone's wallet – all money untouched – or if I help someone out, that I'm doing it for myself.

That's just a fragment of the way that I think.

I can prove myself to be a lot worse, and maybe more, if given the right ridicule and amounts of time on my own.

Now about the soccer thing, you see my dad has this rule about my Christmas and birthday presents –no parties, because I'm a boy, and boys don't have parties… I think. On my birthday or at Christmas time I will be asked a question about a certain thing, and from that I will get a 'present'. On my fifth or sixth birthday Dad asked me if I liked learning things, and I said "yes".

With that I was allowed to go to school, and that was my present.

When I'm seven dad asks me: "What sport do you like in school." Now at the time Soccer was a real major thing to play at gym, or after school. I knew a bit about it, and thought it looked like fun, and so I answered: "I like soccer". With that I got a soccer ball for Christmas, as well as enrolment on the soccer team on my birthday. It was the first time a single question had spawned two presents.

Dad asks me on my eighth birthday (Probably out of ideas for anything else): "What do you like doing, when we go down to the beach?" I'd only ever been to the beach twice in my whole life, and had enjoyed going out into the water, and playing in the waves immensely. "I like swimming." And he gave me my first pair of goggles. Now you see ever since about a few months ago I'd been finding I really enjoyed taking the swimming classes with everyone else. I mean, you gotta learn how to swim sometime. Over a period of a few years I grew to love swimming, and tolerate soccer. But I wasn't allowed to change my sport, because if dad asks a question, and you answer it, you're not allowed to change the answer, regardless of age or experience.

So as I finish this entry I say now, my life is a worthless trash pile, and according to decisions I've made, I'm even worse in then when it all started.

Like a quote I found in my inbox says: 'We are born wet, starving and cold, and then things just get worse.'

Hikari has her friends, and a brother who loves her very much. She can do without my protection, and probably my friendship. She's a tough girl, and it probably wont faze her as much to know one of her friends is dead, then if I'd gotten any closer.

I'm glad I got to meet her, if only for a little while. Tomorrow is our first day of 7th grade school, the year 2002. For Christmas I was asked, "What's your favourite colour?" I'd answered: "Indigo". I'd gotten an Indigo coloured backpack. Not funny.

I hope I don't hurt anyone by taking my life… or at least trying to, again. Jun's out at one of her 'Fangirl' parties where she and a few of her friends – including her best friend Inoue Momoe – got together to worship and praise their obsession. Last I heard it was over a certain blond singer from a band called Teenage wolves. Heh. I bet it's this guy named Ishida Yamato. He bought two of my songs off the Internet. I go under my Middle name Akaidra – which, strangely, means red Dragon, which is my other online name – and my initials M. A. D., or the Mad One as I've been known in chat rooms.

That's what I do. Sell my pictures, stories and lyrics online.

Yet another thing that'll suffer from my death… oh well…

Goodbye to the world,

And goodbye to my life

I love you Neesan,

I love you Tou-sama and Kaasan

No one will cry,

When I go and die

No one will care,

When I am not there

Good-bye.

~ M. A. D / ~Red*Dragon~ / |~AkaiDra~|

+ End Journal Entry +

~*^*^*~

Motomiya Daisuke leaned heavily against the sink in the bathroom, pouring the faint traces of wine and beer into the glass of water. He'd gotten the wine and beer from the bottom of unfinished glasses lying around over about three days.

He pulled some Night-capsules out of the cupboard and carefully read the back. He then found what he was looking for, smirked and reached in to get the aspirin.

He never used the Night-capsules because they had a certain chemical or whatever that he was allergic to. It was also found in certain types of pasta, specifically noddles, but never in rice, or dough.

He then sat in the shower, so that the blood and stench would be easier to wash away; Typical Daisuke, always thinking of everyone's opinions and reactions, even when he was about to kill himself.

He then took out the sharpened blade he'd stolen from the kitchen. He carefully held that between his knees as he downed 5 or 6 aspirin, and three nightcaps. He then put both down and lifted the knife, slicing down into the skin of his left wrist. He whimpered in pain, but bit it back as he swapped hands and cut the other, but not as deeply. The aspirin and Night-capsules were to make him drowsy, so that he wouldn't feel the pain of the knife. The alcohol was to give him a little bit of strength through the numbness to actually cut his wrists.

He would have sliced again if the knife hadn't fallen from his grip and clattered against the steel of the shower floor. He watched in absent fascination as his blood slowly inched across the silver surface, melding with the water droplets still left there.

It looked pretty, making abstract patterns around his knees, down his arms and soaking into his White shirt. He only wore the shirt and a pair of shorts, not wanting to bother his mother with too much cleaning afterwards.

Through his haze filled mind he thought he heard someone enter into the apartment and stumble through the hall. They came to the bathroom and pushed it open, reminding Daisuke that he hadn't locked it, so as not to get his father angry if he had to replace the lock.

The intruder smelled of smoke, and alcohol, perfume and vomit, as well as a number of other putrid things. He instantly knew it was Jun, home early from her party, and drunk stupid. She wasn't one to get drunk, and so when she woke up with a hangover she'd get quite a shock. It was lucky someone had taken her home early, so she wouldn't get into too much trouble.

In her drunk, haze filled mind she realised there was someone who'd swallowed something they shouldn't have, and had wounds on their wrists. In her drunken state Daisuke wouldn't have been surprised if she thought that it was actually herself with the cut wrists. She lifted Daisuke's unresponsive body and dragged it to the toilet, slapping his back a few times before he started to throw up into the toilet. She probably thought it was herself throwing up the contents of dinner and the beer she'd drunk. Or perhaps she thought she was back at the party, helping a friend out.

Either way, after Daisuke was certain the pills, the faint watery alcohol and all other contents of his stomach were now staring up at him from the porcelain bowl he felt Jun wrapping towels around his wrists, letting the blood soak them even more than his shirt.

He tried to protest, telling her that Kaasan would be angry. After all who wants to clean blood soaked towels? But his Neesan didn't listen and instead gave him what was probably a loose hug before she threw up on the floor and swayed as she stood. She then stumbled and clawed her way through and into her room, shutting the door behind herself.

Daisuke was left shivering on the bathroom floor, pale, frightened, weak and confused.

Eventually – about an hour later – he started to move around. He flushed the toilet and cleaned up the vomit and the blood. He poured out the alcohol-water and put away the night-capsules and the aspirin. He cleaned his wounds and wrapped them in a thin bandage, not enough to help the wounds heal, or soak the blood, but enough that they were covered and would eventually heal.

Daisuke had tried numerous times to commit suicide in many ways, always someone, either one of his parents or Jun, would find him and stop him. Eventually he began to stop himself and wrap the bandages. They were always thin and few, so no one would see them under his sleeves, under his wristbands. In fact that's what he had them for, a present for his tenth Christmas, from his mother.

He then took off his shirt and put it with the towels in a bucket, which he then filled with warm water and some detergent. He went to his room – after cleaning himself off – and took up his wristbands, to hold the bandages down. He then took his pyjamas and went to the bathroom again.

He took off his shorts and added them to the bucket, cleaned himself off again, and got dressed into the yellow pyjamas. He then left the bathroom and went to bed.

That is how it went. Yet another failed attempt at suicide.

"Cowardly Daisuke." He muttered to himself. "Now if you had tried just after Jun had left, instead of debating wether or not to actually do it, you'd be dead and Jun wouldn't have even noticed you lying in the shower." It was true, no matter how sad. "You Bakana Baka, Daisuke. Stop trying to do stupid things!" [Stupid Idiot] He then nodded to himself defiantly, rolled over, avoided his wrists, and tried to sleep.

And anyway, who knows what the new school year would bring. Maybe Hikari might still need him. Maybe he'd make some new friends; maybe Jun actually did know it was him in the bathroom.

Then again, maybe Daisuke was kidding himself.

"Why can't people just let me die in peace?" He was almost completely dead, mentally anyways…

**A/N**: Just a quick heads-up for other chapters! Between [and] are Japanese translations, K?? Okei!! Also in Japanese schools they work on a similar term-basis to England… I guess (I don't use or understand either) but they only get Sunday's off from school. (0.o Ow…)

Update (19/11/03): I have gone through and re-written a few parts of the story/Journal and also the Authors Notes. Now if you are reading this I have finally re-posted this on Fanfiction.Net, and I will be spending more time writing to update more ^_^ not to worry all is well land under control!!


	2. Purpose In Another World

Daisuke's Journal 

[Purpose in Another World]

The sun shone down brightly as the children of Odaiba elementary played around before the first bell. A couple of kids were playing soccer, while others chatted while walking around, and a few kids had started a game of marbles near the door.

Daisuke smiled his famous, one-of-a-kind, happy-go-lucky, 100% fake smile to his 'friends' and team-mates as he raced along with them on the field.

"Pass me the ball!"

"Kick it!"

"Look out!" A couple of kids laughed as their friend tripped over a shoe that was marking the goal post, and landed in the mud.

"Here you go Davis!" A redhead called to him, nudging the ball over.

Daisuke kicked the ball and tried to pass to a messy haired brunette girl who had been the one to try and warn the goalkeeper of the shoe-post.

"Get it!" He called, kicking as hard as he could. Unfortunately the girl, despite being a lot older then any of them, and just hanging out before the High school let in, was also much shorter than everyone on the field.

"Yikes!" She missed.

Just then a kid wearing a White hat, a yellow and blue long-sleeved shirt and shorts came in through the gates, following Inoue Miyako – Momoe's younger sister – and Hida Iori.

He had stopped following them to stare at the game with an unreadable look on his face. Daisuke would have been irritated at the fact that he didn't recognise the look on the blonde's face, if he hadn't been too busy worrying that the soccer ball flying at him might break his nose.

"Look out!" A few voices cried as one, including him and the brunette teenager – who everyone called Muddy. To their surprise, however, the blond easily caught the ball and gave it a bemused look.

"Basketball players." Daisuke heard someone mutter. He quickly hurried across to get the ball – his own soccer ball from when he was 7 – back from the new kid.

"Nice kick Davis-Kun!" Muddy laughed as she dusted off her high school uniform. Wincing at his American name Daisuke went up to the blond and waved to get his attention.

"Hey! Kick it back!" He didn't want to say 'Give it back' because that would be rude, no matter how tempted he was to say it. He'd known a blond kid back in his old school that liked to steal his things and money from him.

Apparently this blond hadn't heard him so Daisuke tried another approach.

"Hey! Thanks! Great catch!" The kid looked up and smiled, passing the ball back. He then eyed Daisuke carefully.

"You look familiar." He said. Daisuke blinked, slightly stunned. How could anyone say such a thing about him? It was impossible wasn't it? Did this guy see a crude picture of himself on his web site? The kid finally stopped staring and smiled. "It must be the goggles!"

"Huh?" Was all Daisuke managed to say, feeling utterly confused.

"Hey Davis!" Called the redhead kid, named Jasper. "You're holding up the game!" Muddy laughed at the blank look on Daisuke's face as he turned to look at them.

Daisuke quickly kicked the ball back and ran towards them, forgetting about the strange blonde kid. Muddy bounced the ball off her head and kicked in the direction of the opposite goal line.

*

Later Daisuke made his way to Class A, his soccer ball under one arm, the other tugging at his bag strap. He carried the small bag around with him everywhere, since it had his 'work' in it, though with nothing much to do with school.

He came in to see a young girl with chin-length chestnut Brown hair, and bright Amber-Brown eyes, a lot different from Muddy's dark Aquamarine. This was Hikari.

"Hey 'Kari!" He said dropping his bag under his desk. "What luck your in my class again!" It was an old joke, and it never ceased to make her smile.

"I wouldn't call that luck Davis." She replied, smiling happily at her friend. He only smiled back, sitting at his desk and dropping the soccer ball beneath. He pulled out his notebook and wrote down a few ideas for songs and stories. Once Hikari had asked him what he was doing and he'd told her was just writing out some things.

"What like strategies for soccer?"

"Yeah, kind of." It wasn't really a lie, but it was close enough.

Hikari pulled out her textbook and was flipping through until she came to a White, pink and purple bookmark and started reading.

"Hey," Daisuke remembered. "The weirdest thing happened earlier." Hikari looked up at him, interested. "This new kid said I reminded him of someone. Probably thinks I'm a movie star!" He tried not to laugh at his own joke, though Hikari rolled her eyes and gave a quiet giggle.

Just then the teacher stood up, causing everyone to scramble to his or her seats and quiet down.

"Hamasaki-Sensei desu," He droned. "I'll be your teacher. And now I'd like you to welcome a new student." He waved to the door as a young boy came in and smiled at the class.

"Hajimemashite," [Pleased to meet you] he told them all with a bow. "Takaishi Takeru to mooshimasu." [My name is…]

"It's that kid!" Daisuke said to himself, though he was certain Hikari might have heard him too.

"Take a seat next to the girl with the camera around her neck," Hamasaki-sensei told Takeru. That was Hikari, who enjoyed taking pictures of almost everything.

Daisuke watched as Takeru scanned the room before he noticed Hikari, fingering the small metal object on a yellow string, her camera. He grinned, his eyes instantly lighting up. He took a seat next to her, opposite Daisuke.

"Together again!" He told her quietly, so as not to disturb the teacher who was busy writing about tenses on the blackboard. This however caught the attention of the goggle-boy beside Hikari, across the small aisle.

"Just like old times!" Hikari grinned. They looked happy together, as if they had never been apart.

_'What?!'_ Daisuke thought, knowing he was making one hell of a funny face. _'That kid's making a move on my girl!'_ Now to be honest Daisuke knew very well that Hikari wasn't 'His girl' but he would refer to her as such in a friendly manner. Though half the time he'd sometimes call her his sister just to get her to laugh, especially when she didn't seem to be having a good day.

But right now all Daisuke could think of was how Hikari was his one true friend, and how now that this new kid was here, she was ignoring him. If he'd have made the very expression he was making now, to probably someone else, she would have taken a picture of it and laughed. She laughed all right, but not because of Daisuke.

"Our teacher looks like Ogremon!" Takeru whispered to Hikari, though Daisuke could hear him just fine. Hikari laughed, but quietly. Daisuke knew one thing: today was not a good day.

**

Daisuke wandered home, feeling somewhat ill. He half felt like throwing up, half felt like jumping around laughing. But still a part of him was too caught up in his thoughts that the other halves didn't matter. The Dejitarukai [Digital World], to say the least, was pretty cool.

Coming back to this world had kind of been like waking up from a dream. They'd accidentally landed on top of Koushiro, though, so that told him it probably wasn't.

Everything was so beautiful and peaceful in the Digiworld, at least at first glance, then everywhere you looked there were monsters, danger, dark rings and Kami knows what else! It made Daisuke dizzy again. He continually remembered two things very well, and surprisingly they had nothing to do with people putting him down or laughing at him or anything similar.

--Flashback--

He looked up and found he was hurtling through a small area of light and colour, like what you might only see in your dreams. Only a gasp later and he was standing on lush grass, with Takeru and Hikari standing just in front of him. The dizziness was gone, replaced by a faint feeling of warmth, like he was wearing a jacket of some sort.

"Woah…" He managed, blinking in astonishment. "I just got downloaded… Cool!" Might as well lighten the mood before he completely freaked out.

All around them was a lush green forest with gorgeous flowers and types of trees he didn't recognise.

"So this is the Digital World, huh?" He asked getting amused looks from Takeru and Hikari. He grinned to make them happy, knowing that it always worked before. He then peered down and noticed that he was no longer wearing his normal get up of shorts; a long sleeved Black-blue top, and a sleeveless denim jacket. He now wore a fake-fur rimmed, dark purple jacket, embroidered with a flame design in orange, yellow and red. Under the jacket were a tan coloured t-shirt and a pair of yellow gloves. "This place comes with a new wardrobe!" he exclaimed, startled. He was greatful for the gloves, which he could feel hid his bandages.

What if the bandages hadn't materialized along with the rest of the new get up? Would his wrists start bleeding again? He ignored this thought and became immensely greatful for both the gloves and the fact that the bandages were still firmly fastened.

"Over this way," Hikari called. She'd started up ahead while Daisuke was carefully inspecting his gloves. The two boys hurried after her, their feet making little to no noise on the soft, springy turf.

The sun shone brightly overhead, in a clear blue sky. There was a faint warm breeze, and everything appeared calm and peaceful. Daisuke breathed in the scent of the closer wild flowers, smiling slightly.

*

"This place doesn't seem so scary," He scoffed as he followed behind Hikari and Takeru, both of which were still looking rather anxious. He knew he wasn't talking very loud, so they might not have heard him. "Taichi made it sound as though there were monsters everywhere." He looked to his right, still peaceful and amused, only to see the strangest thing you could ever find in the middle of a forest.

"Hey guys, check it out!" He called to his friends, pointing at the sight. "A vending machine." Sure enough there was the aforementioned machine, sitting on a faint angle, hidden against a few trees.

Daisuke, wondering if the thing might work, dug into his pocket for some spare change. He didn't find any, having given it to the resident school bully to pay for not having his nose flattened.

Just then the machine shook, causing the ground to do so as well, and then hundreds of little green, slug-like creatures with eyes on tiny stalks, poured out of the machines slot.

Daisuke was petrified as the things all swarmed towards him, causing him to fall on his backside in the dirt, as they wound around him, making strange gargling, muttering sounds as they went past.

Needless to say the look on Daisuke's face was somewhat priceless. So much in fact, that when he looked over to Takeru and Hikari for help, the two were too busy cracking up at the sight.

The creatures – Numemon – all wandered off, leaving the trio behind. Daisuke got to his feet, still shaking slightly and wishing for even just a little compassion. He got none, as the two others were still laughing slightly.

"Ha, ha, very funny." He muttered to them as he absently caught his balance and wandered towards them. "Were those things Digimon?"

"Yep!" Hikari grinned. "There's tons of other Digimon, too, that are a lot cuter than those."

"And a lot scarier ones, too." Takeru added, almost as if reminding Hikari.

_'Okay,'_ Daisuke thought, trying to hold his fear and keep the blood from leaving his face. _'So some Digimon are cute, and some are scary, and some of them look like bug-eyed slugs… great.'_

"I just have one question," Daisuke tried aloud, more to be cautious then to joke. "Do they all come out of vending machines?" But the others merely ignored him, though Daisuke still debated over wether that was a good thing or not.

"They're real close by," A Human voice said suddenly. A moment later Taichi stepped into view, followed by three odd creatures. "There!" Taichi cried, grinning as he noticed his sister and Takeru.

"T.K.!" The one creature squeaked. It was orange and tan, with bat-like wings for ears, and sparkling blue eyes.

"Patamon!" Takeru cried as the orange bat-pig tackled him in a friendly, I-missed-you, puppy type way. "Boy, am I glad to see you!" Daisuke didn't know what scared him more, the fact that the strange creatures could talk, or the fact that they seemed to be friends with the others of the group.

The white cat-like creature wearing yellow gloves, striped with dark orange, bounded over to the brunette girl, shouting:

"'Kari!" Hikari scooped the Digimon in to her arms, hugging her happily.

"Tailmon!" She cried.

The other Digimon stayed next to Taichi. It looked like a small orange Dinosaur, with big emerald eyes, which had golden flecks glinting in them.

"Hi guys!" Taichi waved. "I'm glad you made it."

"Tai, I told 'em you'd be all right." Daisuke nodded, smiling slightly. Taichi suddenly stopped in his tracks and looked as though he were going to fall over.

"Daisuke?!" He cried; using his full name cause he kept forgetting the shortened version. "What are you doing here?"

At that moment Hikari's smile faded as she noticed something different about her partner.

"Your tail ring…" She said seriously. Taichi ignored Daisuke to look over at his sister and her Digimon. Daisuke breathed a sigh; not liking the look Taichi had been giving him.

Tailmon looked at her tail sadly and nodded – her healing ring was gone.

"Tell me what happened." Hikari urged gently.

"I was being chased by Unimon," Tailmon started, her soft voice filling their ears. "He was using his Horn Blaster attack. I ran as hard as I could, but he caught up with me. His hoof landed on my ring, so I had to slip out of it and then I dashed off as quickly as I could." She finished, looking saddened.

"But I don't understand," Hikari shook her head. "Unimon is usually a good Digimon. Why would he be attacking you, Tailmon?" Tailmon snarled slightly.

"It all started when this bossy Human appeared and began making Digimon into his slaves." She explained. "And he's got this strange new Digivice that makes us unable to Digivolve."

Takeru looked strangely mad, yet thoughtful at the same time. He turned to Daisuke and pointed to where his new Digivice was attached to his shorts.

"Show her your's." He commanded. As this was a command, Daisuke had no other choice but to obey, and so pulled it off of his shorts, and held it out for the Digimon to see.

"Like this one?" He questioned the white cat.

"That's it!" Tailmon suddenly stepped back in terror. "You work for the Digimon Kaiser!" Daisuke was taken aback, and so retreated his hand before Tailmon decided to attack it.

"What?! I don't work for anybody!" He protested. _'Now is that a lie? I don't know…'_ "I just got this thing when it came out of the computer!" _'Beautiful! She's_ got _to believe you know!'_ He notice Taichi watching him, eye brows raised. They then narrowed, scrutinising the younger boy. Daisuke quickly looked away, frightened of the older boys gaze. _'I wish people wouldn't look at me like that. I was being too loud again, wasn't I?'_ He didn't know.

**

Daisuke watched as Takeru tried to lift the strange thing Taichi had called a Digimental. He said that it had the crest of Courage on it. Daisuke had been examining it from where he stood, somewhat confused as to how something so small could seem so important.

_'It's weird,'_ He thought, feeling vaguely numb. _'It's like I'm drawn to it…'_

Takeru gave up and stood, avoiding cutting himself on the spike which came out of the red and orange flame design of the Digimental.

"It won't budge." The blonde said firmly, turning to eye his friends apologetically.

"Guys, I pump iron all the time, let me do it," Daisuke said suddenly. _'Now why, in the name of Great Kami and everything that is good, did I just say _that_?'_ But he knew why. He was trying to be tough, trying to look cool, so they couldn't 'kick him out' though he doubted they would.

He noticed Takeru eyeing his scrawny arms wearily. There was no doubt in Daisuke's mind that if Takeru decided to deck him one, he would go down, and probably stay that way!

Plus there was a strange… niggling in his gut – a faint hum in the back of his mind –, which told him that he could, and should lift the small object. There was something about it, something that was only meant for him.

He bent down and curled his fingers around the oval-shaped thing, and gave a tug. He used all of his strength, thinking that maybe the thing was really heavy, but it wasn't, in fact it was almost as light as a feather, innocently resting in his hand. That is, after he fell over backwards with the momentum of his pull, sitting there babbling something or another as he tried to get over the shock of having landed on his butt.

"What did I tell you?" He gave a laugh, which was also an automatic reaction, other than a fake. "Light as a feather. You guys need to work out more." _'Oh, like _you_ do?'_ He finally stepped back into reality, only to realise he was the only one smiling. No one cheered, no one laughed at him, they didn't look too shocked, but it was enough. Only problem was that they were completely ignoring Daisuke and looking past him to where the Digimental had once lay.

"There's a problem," Taichi said softly. Daisuke slowly turned to see there was a stream of light flowing out of a small hole in the ground, which the Digimental had made.

Inside the stream of light a strange creature appeared, slowly materializing the thing seemed to be asleep. Just then, however, it woke up and leapt out of the light, which almost instantly disappeared.

"Yahoo!" It cried in pure ecstasy, freed from beneath the Digimental. It looked like a small Blue and White Dragon, with golden markings on its face.

Daisuke, however, was so stunned all he could do was gape at the strange creature, which took one look at him, still on the ground, holding the Digimental, and instantly bounded over in front of him. It was grinning so happily that Daisuke felt himself calming slightly. Beside's he was kind of cute.

"Free at last!" It said, landed in front of him. "My names Veemon!" _'Suitably.'_ The gold markings took on V patterns.

"H-hi," Daisuke stuttered, still shocked. "I'm Daisuke." He wasn't about to make the mistake of giving this little guy his shortened name.

"I've heard of Veemon," The orange Dinosaur, Agumon, spoke up. "Supposedly he's a fun-loving, adventure-seeking little Digimon that brings you good luck. But I thought he was a legend!" _'Good luck?! That's good… right?'_

"Nope, I'm real all right," Veemon said, still grinning at Daisuke, much like a dog to its master after he'd been away too long. "And I've been waiting a very long time to meet you, Daisuke!"

"Uh, I think you've got the wrong guy…" Daisuke replied, feeling somewhat faint. Too much depression and adrenaline in one day was not good for the body.

"No, you're the one," The blue guy insisted. "'Cause you're the only one who was able to move the Digimental of Courage!" _'Oh… joy…'_

--End Flashback--

Daisuke smirked at the memories. Of course after then a Monochromon had shown up and tried to kill them, but that wasn't in his likely-to-be-remembered-anytime-soon list.

He gave a sigh, wishing Veemon could have come back with him. But then he'd have to hide behind his mask so as not to scare the little guy. He didn't want to hurt him, or make him worry, so he smiled despite himself and held his head as high as he dared.

He was now part of a group who protected both this world and the Digital World, though it was mostly the Dejitarukai, and Daisuke didn't quite understand the link between the two worlds very well.

_'I guess,'_ He thought as he entered his building. _'That it wasn't too unexpected. Being in any way needed, if only for another world. Oh well, it's not like it would affect who am, or… maybe it will.'_ He shook his head, hoping not. The last thing he needed was for people to be hurt or go into sudden bouts of depression because he wasn't holding up his task of being equilibrium for the world, or something to that extent. His mind was known for working in strange ways.

As he came into his room he sat at his desk and sketched an almost flawless picture of Veemon. His sister yelled at him from behind the door to do his homework, and that he'd have to get his own food. She was probably going to spend most of the evening on the phone with Momoe and Chizuru, the Inoue twins, talking about 'that cute guy in the band'. Frankly Daisuke could care less.

He himself spent most of the evening lying on his bed, either tossing his soccer ball up and down, or looking at the sketch he'd made of Veemon.

He cried himself to sleep that night, trying to stop his mind telling him that whole thing was a dream, or worse, a prank pulled on him by his… 'Friends'.

Tomodachi. [Friend] The word had little to no meaning for him, and in actual fact, was something he placed on anyone who talked to him, and hung around him, but didn't punch him or insult his family. They could insult him all they wanted, he didn't care, just so long as they left his 'friends' and family out of it.

~*^*^*~

There is a place I want to go,

A place for which I am known

As a friend, a protector,

One who is strong, and is brave.

But this place is so very far away,

And I am but one, though with others

I am not brave, not strong,

I am stupid and always wrong

But there is a place,

Such a strange world

Where I am needed

And I am all I am not here

+ From the 'Gallery of Youth's Poetry'; a book by M. A. D. +

A/N: All poetry is (c) Me. Yes I know, Muddy isn't supposed to be there. Shameless character plug in. She is actually Marcia, Iori's cousin. Read about her in _'Forgiveness is the Key to your Unhappiness'_. Shameless, shameless, I know.

[Blah] = Jap. Translation


	3. Ni

Daisuke's Journal 

[Ni]

+ Journal Entry, Ni +

I guess I'm no good at committing suicide after all. I mean, come on, you'd think I'd learn that by _now_! I've tried quite a few times actually.

We have this special medicine/healing agent, which I use to hide the older scars and bruises. To use it on the newer scars would _sting!_ It's often called Iodine. Yeah, I know it doesn't sound like much but with my type of skin it actually hides the bruises, unfortunately as a slight side-affect my whole body goes a shade or so darker than it actually is. But I guess that's lucky since underneath that I'm actually getting quite pale, due to loss of blood, lack of sleep, and malnutrition.

But I digress; this isn't the reason I'm writing now.

On the first day of school this new kid, named Takaishi Takeru, showed up. Turns out he and Hikari have been friends for over four years, thanks to both being Digidestined. Because I foolishly followed them, trying to actually say goodbye, deciding to die on the way home, I too am now a Digidestined. I've got the coolest partner named Veemon. He's this little blue and white dude with gold V designs on his face. I heard Agumon – that's Taichi-kun's Digimon – say that Veemon is a legendary Digimon who brings good luck. It's strange how he got partnered up with me.

It's even weirder that I was the only one able to activate the Digimental of Courage. My protective streak came into that, when Hikari was hurt.

Her Digimon's name is Tailmon, and Takeru's Digimon is Patamon.

Apparently they're all at the Rookie level (Except Tailmon). All Digimon can 'Digivolve' to different levels. They start out as Fresh, evolve to In training, then to Rookie and on to Champion (Which Tailmon was), Ultimate and even Mega! Taichi told me all about this later, after we'd gotten back from our second 'Adventure'.

Miyako and Iori also became new Digidestined.

~*^*^*~

It was later that Daisuke was packing away his bag when the thought came to him.

_'Hikari's got a nice friend to look after her now. I guess I should just go. If I'd finished it last night she would've still gotten to see Takaishi-san, and forgotten about me. That's the way it should have been.'_ But Daisuke was not cruel, and so decided to go and say goodbye to Hikari, and maybe to Takeru as well. Of course he still had his mask, and he didn't want to scare them. _'I'll just ramble on a bit and see if Hikari catches my message. Then I'll take the long way home. I've still got that army knife I stole off Jun, cause she wasn't using it. I'll just go down to the river…'_

He managed to get to Hikari's locker before he became too depressed to be able to hide it. He then hurried in as if he'd been running around looking for them.

Takeru was talking to Hikari about his new apartment and how his mother was too busy on the computer to notice. _'Lucky… His mom actually has an excuse to ignore him.'_

"Hey buddy!" He tried, putting on the face of a proud, tough guy.

"His name isn't 'buddy'," Hikari scolded, causing Daisuke to feel somewhat rotten at his outburst. "It's 'T.K.'"

"All right T.J. or J.B, or whatever it is," Daisuke said defiantly, realising he hadn't actually heard Hikari and had once again made a fool of himself getting this guys name wrong. "How do you know 'Kari?" Now he really looked like an idiot. _'Wonderful Dai, simply marvellous; Just walk around with your foot in your mouth why don't ya?'_

"Huh? How do I know her?" Takeru looked confused and frowned, then his face lit up and he gave a laugh. "That's pretty funny! Your jealous!" _'Of what?'_ Daisuke thought stupidly for about a second before it clicked. He blushed a faint pink and glared holes into the blonde.

"I'm not jealous!" He practically screamed. _'Stop it!'_ His mind screamed. _'Calm down!'_

Suddenly – and very much to Daisuke's relief – Miyako jogged up to them. She was holding a sheet of paper, which she'd probably gotten from the computer room after printing something onto it.

"Hey! Your _Yagami_ Hikari, aren't you?" Hikari turned to the purple haired girl.

"Yeah, that's right," She said, looking confused. "Why?"

"Are you related to Taichi?" _'Duh!'_ Daisuke thought with a roll of his eyes, only Takeru seemed to notice though, giving him an odd look. Daisuke didn't notice.

Miyako handed over the printout. Daisuke peered at it carefully, trying to decipher the words on the paper despite the fact that it was being shaken about and half in shadow. Hikari read it over, her eyes widening in shock.

"Niisan needs us!" She cried, starting off towards the computer room. Before he knew it Daisuke was in behind running side by side with Takeru.

_'Why am I following? Is it because Taichi might be in trouble, or hurt? Is it my protective streak again, or am I truly an idiot but putting up an act that I like Hikari-Chan?'_ He was completely confused and all of this was giving him a headache.

He'd only managed to read a part of the letter, which said something about the Digital World. It only made Daisuke more nervous and confused. Fact is he felt as if he were going to throw up again.

Just as they were almost there a voice came up from in front of them.

"Hey, Miyako!" It was a redheaded kid, wearing the high school uniform. "I need to use the computer room right away, and you're the only one who can get in there right now!"

Miyako gasped, and Takeru grinned. Daisuke still had no idea what was going on. _'Well,'_ He thought absently. _'For a computer geek he wears cool shoes.'_

"You mean a legend like you, the former president of the computer club, is actually looking for me?" Miyako swooned. _'Give it a rest Miya-Chan…'_ Daisuke thought with a weak shake of his head. "I'm honoured!"

"What's up Izzy?" Takeru asked of the 13 year old. _'Izzy? As in Izumi 'Izzy' Koushiro?'_ Now he knew why Miyako was so thrilled.

"Taichi just sent us an urgent E-mail," Hikari said breathlessly. Koushiro nodded.

"Yeah, I know," He replied. "I got one too. I was just about to sent Tai an answer when the battery ran out on my laptop."

As one the group headed to the computer lab. In it were about 16 computers, all hooked up to a network, which went through to the other computer room in the school. It was also connected to the library computers. The room was one of Daisuke's favourites, having soundproof walls and plenty of space to hide his things. He would come in here after school to play his guitar or write some songs. (A/N: Sounds familiar, doesn't it?)

Koushiro hopped onto the one computer that was on – probably the one Miyako had been using to check her E-mail before going home – and started typing furiously.

"I got him!" Exclaimed the computer genius.

"What's the Digiworld?" Miyako asked as she peered over the redheads shoulder. "A new amusement park or something?" She turned to Hikari. "I bet they have some great rides!" _'Oh Miya…'_

"Taichi-kun mentioned it once." Daisuke said carefully, not knowing if he were right or not. "He said there were a lot of Digimon," He then rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Whatever they are." _'I wish people would actually talk to me about things I'm told of, so as not to put me down.'_

Just then Takeru turned to him, his face a mask of surprise.

"You know Taichi?" He questioned.

"They play on the same soccer team," Hikari explained to her friend, before Daisuke could answer. But in Daisuke's mind he was thinking _'Actually Hika-Chan he and I only played a few games together after school. He's too old to play in the Elementary team.' _But he let it pass; knowing she must be under a lot of stress, knowing her older brother was in trouble.

Just then a quiet, yet strong voice sounded from the doorway.

"Miyako," It was Iori, the solemn green-eyed 5th grader. Daisuke smiled, liking the younger boy. "You were supposed to come over and help me fix my computer." That sounded about right for the two.

"Oh, Gomen!" [Sorry] Miyako smacked her forehead, a habit she'd picked up from her older brother. "I forgot!" The two then proceeded to leave.

Koushiro was still focused on the computer screen.

"If Tai's there," He said, half to himself. "Then the gate to the Digital World must be open!" _'Gomen?_ Digital World_? He's got to be kidding…'_ He turned to wave after Miyako and Iori, only just leaving through the door.

"You promised to fix my computer." Iori said firmly, and almost accusingly. He was pretty good at that, despite being 9 years old, and Miyako being about 12.

"I know." She said with a sigh, shuffling her feet as the two headed down the hall, Daisuke still waving after them briefly. Just as soon as they were gone Koushiro announced:

"We're going back to the Digiworld, Prodigious!" _'This can't be good.'_ Daisuke thought of the almost happy way Koushiro had said this, and the looks of half joy and half concern on Hikari and Takeru's faces.

"I'm going with you!" He suddenly insisted, knowing fully well they might need his help. Heck he knew more about survival anywhere and everywhere, even more so than his father who used to go hiking a lot as a teenager.

"Not just anybody can go," Takeru explained gently. "You need a Digivice." _'I knew it…'_ He thought feeling somewhat miserable. _'I try and help out and I can't.' _He quickly feigned anger to hide his grief.

"Listen, T.C." He growled; realising too late he might have gotten his name wrong again. "If you can go, so can I!" _'Bull!'_

Just then three beams of light shot out of the computer screen and flew around at an amazing speed. Okay they didn't 'fly around' but they did fly. One was pink-red and the other was a deep yellow. The one light, which was almost a green-blue, or light blue, hit Daisuke in the chest. It didn't hurt, or knock him back. It wasn't hot or cold, but a mild Luke warm.

As the light faded Daisuke found himself staring at a small device kind of like one of those electronic pets. It was White with blue panels, a screen, a short Black antenna and a little knob on the end. There were two buttons beside the screen in the shape of triangles.

Daisuke could only gape at the device as it became completely solid, and cool in the palm of his hand.

"What's this?" He asked stupidly, not knowing what else to say.

"A Digivice!" Takeru exclaimed, shocked. Hikari was examining the small object closely.

"It's different than the ones we have," She pointed out. It was then Daisuke noticed that he was the center of attention of the small group, and as always he felt uncomfortable.

"We'd better go now," Koushiro interrupted. "While the gateway to the Digital World is still open!"

"Yeah," Takeru agreed with his older friend. "But how long will it stay open?"

Hikari – to the surprise of everyone present – shoved her way past the other two to stand in front of the computer screen.

"I don't care!" She insisted. "I'm going to help my Niisan!" She touched the screen, holding up a smaller device, which was Grey-white and looked like a wristwatch, and then… she was gone. Sucked into the computer!

"I'm with you!" Takeru cried – too little, too late – and in a flash he was gone too.

Daisuke merely stood there, mouth open in shock, one hand clasping his 'Digivice' tightly. His best friend and their 'new' friend had just disappeared into the school computer using things called Digivices. Daisuke was stunned, not able to think, and barely able to breath. Koushiro turned to him.

"It's your turn," He said gently, noticing the horrified look on the younger boys face. He hesitated, wondering just what he should do. "Unless your scared." The redhead taunted. That did it. He made up his mind an instant later, gritting his teeth slightly.

"I'm there!" He insisted, holding up his new Digivice to the computer screen. There was a flash of bright light, which made him extremely dizzy and giving him the sudden urge to fall over.

~*^*^*~

The next day we all travelled to Digiworld together with Takenouchi Sora and Izumi Koushiro, whose partner Digimon were Piyomon and Tentomon.

While we were there I was dragged underground by Drimogemon, and the next thing I knew I was face to face with the Digital Kaiser. He's only about the same age as me! Funny, how his hair colouring looked familiar. Some people might think so but I am not colour blind, and I've seen that shade of hair someplace before.

It's weird. I was made the leader of the new team of Digidestined, which seems to be me, Iori and Miyako. I guess it's kind of cool how I can actually help out for once, even if it is on another world. Which just goes to show that I was never supposed to have been born in this world, because I'm needed in another one.

Anyway, back to my meeting with the Kaiser. He dresses like its Halloween, though it looks like he's wearing his pyjamas. The only cool part I see of his outfit is the pair of yellow rimmed, purple shades. He isn't too scary, to say the least, at least that's what I thought until he threw a dark ring at Veemon.

Those rings are nothing but trouble; letting the Kaiser scramble their Bio-Data to serve him. Some of the machine Digimon, like Tentomon, might have trouble getting over the affects of the dark ring when freed. It all reminds me slightly of The Lord of the Rings, a book I read once while learning English.

He has a dark Digivice, which is essentially just a new Digivice like mine, only mine's blue, Miyako's is red, Iori's is yellow, and the Kaiser's is a Grey-Black.

Perhaps he was once a Digidestined like us, but then how did he end up like this? Maybe I was chosen to balance out the darkness and the light in our group of chosen, and maybe, because I was actually happy being friends with Hikari, and making friends with Veemon, at some point I must have altered the balance. So maybe it's because of me that, whoever the Kaiser was before, he is now evil…

Yet another example of how I think.

Anyway he stole my D-terminal, which I got after I activated the Digimental, and apparently stores it. He also took my Digivice. Now I don't know about you, or anyone else for that matter, but I hate when I'm given a gift of some sort – despite the fact it flew at me from the computer – and then someone takes it away. But I hate it more when the people who gave it to me, take it back, and then tease and taunt me. It's a good thing the Kaiser isn't into idle threats and teasing cause otherwise he'd have one P.O'd Digidestined on his hands.

As I said before, I got the Digimental of Courage, allowing Veemon to 'Armour Digivolve' into Flamdramon. Now on the Digimental is a crest, like a sun-symbol. This crest originally belonged to Taichi. I don't know if he's disgusted or proud…

Anyway, the next day Iori and Miyako found the Digimentals of Love and Knowledge in a temple. Lifting them up, they met their Digimon partners, Armadiomon and Hawkmon.

Miyako was able to pick up the Digimental of Love, with Hawkmon underneath. This crest was a heart symbol, which originally belonged to Sora, who helped Miyako realise that she had to fight to help. That's typical Miya-Chan for you!

Iori managed to lift the Digimental of Knowledge, gaining Armadiomon. This crest was two circles with an arced line between them; there was a smaller circle in the bigger one. This crest had, at one time, belonged to Koushiro.

The two used their new Digimentals to help their Digimon evolve into Halsemon and Digmon.

They all came and saved Veemon and me from where we were hanging from a cliff face. Miyako and Halsemon were just in time to destroy the dark ring before it got too close to Veemon.

Tailmon tried to attack the Kaiser, though his Digimon got in the way. But she was able to knock the little bug into the Kaiser, causing him to drop my D-terminal and Digivice, which Miyako caught and gave back to me. I then used the Digimental of Courage again, and we managed to destroy the dark rings on Snimon and Drimogemon.

After the battle the Kaiser disappeared.

Now the strange little Digimon who I saw looking down at me from the cliff face looked to be some kind of green caterpillar, and was actually kind of cute. His eyes weren't glowing red, like all Digimon under the Kaiser's control, so I guess he must be the tainted kid's loyal Digimon.

Poor little guy, having to put up with his partner turning evil. I must admit he is extremely loyal, you know, for a bug.

Afterwards the Digimon returned to the real world with us, and, get this, devolved to their in training level! Veemon's in training level is Chibimon, and his name is nothing compared to him. He is the master of cuteness, and in every way adorable. The lisp Veemon has is a little more noticeable on Chibimon. Miyako's Hawkmon went to being Poromon, and Armadiomon reverted to Upamon.

We decided to let them stay in the school, where they'd be safe. I joked that if they were in school there's no way they could be safe. Hikari smiled and Sora and Takeru rolled their eyes, but the others weren't amused.

I guess I'm just no good at jokes… Oh well.

I'm glad Veemon didn't decide to follow me home, otherwise he might… find out about me. I don't want to hurt the little guy's feelings, or whatever pride he might have in me.

I'm going to have to leave him at school with the other's Digimon for a while until I can learn to keep my mask on outside of school, at home in my room. It'll be hard but I'd do anything for my friends, especially my first 'real' friend.

I hope we beat that Kaiser guy soon; he must have suffered to become the evil Digital Kaiser. I wonder who he really is? I wish I knew. The others would probably stage an attack on him in the real world if they knew, but I'd like to try and make friends with him. Maybe outside of the Digiworld he's an okay guy… And I'm being hopeful again…

~ M. A. D / ~Red*Dragon~ / |~AkaiDra~|

+ End Journal Entry +

~*^*^*~

Daisuke sat in front of his computer staring blankly at the unfinished programs and audio files. Because his parents had made it a rule that he stay in his room – for most or all of the rest of the day – he didn't have much to do.

He would watch the clouds through his window by leaning his desk chair against the windowsill, giving him the faint feeling of being outside. Other times he'd draw, or write, or work on his computer. Though he was mostly known for sleeping and reading, despite what the others thought of him being completely devoted to Soccer.

He blinked and turned his gaze from the computer screen as the images suddenly darkened to Black as the screensaver came on.

He stared at the wall above his bed. Now most would think that an eleven year old with such great artistic talent would put most of his work up on the wall. But not Daisuke – Oh no! – His parents would kill him!

He heaved a sigh and once again let his thoughts wander, the wall of cream swirling in his bleary vision to a pale-yellow. _'It's only the first week of school,'_ He thought absently, rubbing his hair between two fingers. _'It'll be Sunday after tomorrow, and the Digimon will probably have to stay with us instead of at the school.' _He sighed again.

The one thing he didn't want to happen anytime soon was little Chibimon finding out about him. He didn't want to scare the little creature into either hating him or leaving him. He wanted to remain friends with the happy little thing at least for a little while longer.

_'What do you think, Dai? Do you think you can just find a friend and keep them? It never worked before, even without your mask to hide behind, or your new 'personality'! How in Kami's name do you expect to make friends if you can't even be yourself?'_ But it hadn't worked before. Before when he'd been the terrified, quiet little boy who drew pictures and got almost flawless grades. That was who he really was, just another abused child pretending to be normal. In all truth he was a child, inside. Because he'd had to be older then he truly was, from such a young age, and had gone through such hardships as not even most teenagers can imagine, he was actually, mentally, much younger then even Iori. How he envied his 'friends' sometimes.

"Musoko?" [Son] That was his mother. Even his father refused to call him that. Only Jun called him 'Davis' or to an extent 'Ototo-Baka'. [Idiot Little Brother]

"Hai, Kaasan?" [Mother]

"Come and get your food." He wasn't allowed to eat with the others, because according to his father, it would put them off their appetites. Heaving a sigh Daisuke cleared his head as best he could and stood slowly.

"Hai Kaasan."

Out in the lighter parts of the apartment Daisuke followed the hall to the kitchen where a small plastic bowl of leftovers sat waiting for him. Everyone else had already eaten a while ago, and was now watching television. Jun was supposedly in her room.

Taking up the cold meat, mashed potatoes and sticky rice, Daisuke grabbed a fork and left back to his room. He only ever used chopsticks very rarely since a lack of food and sleep tended to make his hands shake violently. Since it had only been 4 days since he'd tried to commit Suicide again, his hands were shaking a little more then usual.

_'Just a little longer,'_ he told himself. _'I want to give them a little more time, so I can meet all the destined, Maybe even a few months. Just a little longer before I decide wether or not they're worth it.'_


	4. The Black Towers

Daisuke's Journal 

[The Black Towers]

The pencil scratched softly against the paper, leaving the marks even and straight. All around the room was warm and silent, with the odd whisper of wind outside and the occasional hum from the single computer; turned on only a while ago.

The young man stretched and stared up at the ceiling, revelling in the quiet. It's not everyday one can simply relax and clear their minds to an extent that the whole world consisted of nothing but the here and now. It was times like this that Daisuke was happy to be an artist/author. It gave him the ability… no, the privilege of being able to simply space out and enjoy nothing but the beating of his own heart.

Slowly the morning grew late and outside children entered in through the gates to 'enjoy' yet another day of school.

Daisuke was always happy to come early, meaning he'd have time on the way to stop by the Inoue store and buy himself something for a small breakfast. Miyako had asked him once how come he was always late to class, yet was still up early enough to come from his apartment, past the school, to her parent's store, and back again. He'd told her that he liked to take detours.

You must understand that there's no point in getting up early if your not going to at least enjoy the outside for a brief period of time. Of course there was always the fact that Daisuke spent his time in either the music room, or the computer room – or some other place – to either do some work or practise. Sometimes he'd be playing instruments in the music room, doing schoolwork on the front steps, or drawing in the art room. Other times he would be typing programs and stories on the computer, or wondering around the school either writing ideas or practising one of the many languages his parents made him learn.

Today was no different as he practised writing in German, after having practised using advanced HTML on the computer. He stared at the glowing screen, showing a rather interesting display of colours and light that was once a blank page.

Daisuke stretched again and looked at the cupboards behind him. He could still hear the faint snoring from inside, where the in-training Digimon were sleeping. He'd arrived not more then half an hour ago, only to find all five Digimon fast asleep, Rookie, Champion and all.

Tailmon had come out a little later at the sound of typing probably thinking it was Miyako. After watching the many codes and numbers going into Daisuke's program she fell asleep on the windowsill.

With a faint smile Daisuke deleted his work and sifted through his bag, eventually pulling out a small navy-blue notebook. It didn't look 'well-used' like his other notebook, and was much bigger than it too. Written in silver ink on the cover was the word 'Journal'. It had been a present from Hikari, surprisingly enough, and he was quite happy to receive it, despite giving the odd joke that he would probably never use it.

With a smile he plucked out another pen, sifted through the first few pages and began writing.

+ Journal Entry, San +

Okay so I guess even I can get carried away into certain things. This Digiworld is a lot more amazing then I first thought. The first two days were basically a quick ride in which I spent most time unconscious in the second day. But I tell ya, when these things get going…

Oh sorry, I did it again. Anyway it all started in the afternoon after school when we went into the computer room where our Digimon were staying.

Miyako had brought them some food, and I have to admit, it is amusing watching them go nuts over earth food. Miyako had turned on the news while we waited for Iori.

They were showing the results from the Computer Programming Contest. I'd been invited to go but dad tore up the invitation. And in case your wondering I meant I was invited to watch, not join in.

The winner was Ichijouji Ken, the prodigal Boy genius. Makes me wonder why Koushiro didn't enter. Anyway, while Miyako and Hikari seemed to have gone into 'Fangirl' mode, Iori came in and we went to the Digiworld.

The only reason that this is important is because I realised that the Kaiser's unusual hair colour actually match's Ken's. And in case my observations are boring you I'll get into the more important stuff…

So we went to the Digiworld and were looking around there when suddenly the Kaiser appeared. Veemon and me went to attack him when we went right through him! Later I scolded myself for not noticing that he was see-through and the image seemed to be fuzzy like a TV set. Holograms…

He kept going on about being the only perfect human and how only he was a Digidestined. I don't know about the others but I felt sorry for him, believing in perfection and all the rest of it. In my mind there's no such thing as perfection because everyone has a different view for what it is. Of course the Kaiser's observations were a bit more warped then others but…

Anyway he said we were trespassing and sent some Tyrannomon after us. Not fun. Miyako, our Digimon and me kept them busy while Iori, Hikari and Takeru ran off. I don't quite know why but I think the Kaiser enjoys using the Digimon like pawns in a game.

Later they showed up again with two flying armour Digimon. Patamon had armour Digivolved to Pegasusmon, and Tailmon had armour Digivolved to Nefertimon. With their help we were able to destroy the dark rings on the dozen Tyrannomon and send the Kaiser off on one of his Airdramon.

Takeru told me later that he and Hikari had been the keepers of the crests of Hope and Light and had found the Dejimentals of those crests in a cave they'd found.

Somehow, even though he never told me, I knew which crest belonged to whom. Then again, I'm not sure if anyone would doubt me on this either.

Through this battle I guess the foremost thing on my mind was how much things are both the same and different in both worlds. For one thing, coming to the Digiworld the first time I'd gotten the feeling that perhaps it was like some sort of escape from our world. Yet, in another way, it was just like earth, and perhaps even worse.

~*^*^*~

Tailmon had been watching the fluid movements of the boy's hand as he wrote in the book on his lap. Curious she'd leaned over trying to read over his shoulder. She'd accidentally bumped him with her claw, and – not expecting him to react – almost fell off the ledge she was on as he leapt out of the chair and spun with a yelp.

"Ara, Gomen Tailmon!" [OH my!] Daisuke smiled down at the little cat-like Digimon, before he bent to put away his things. Tailmon's ear twitched as she watched him. He was very unlike the others, and interested her. Unlike the way he acted around the rest of the destined, he seemed to enjoy being on his own, doing odd things she didn't understand.

Now you see Digimon have a way of sensing things that Humans can't, like smells, feelings and sometimes the very aura of a person. Daisuke gave the impression that he enjoyed the presence of the Digimon more then that of another human. To the Champion this was odd.

"What were you writing?"

"I was writing what happened in the Digiworld the other day."

"Why?" Daisuke shrugged as he closed his bag and sat on the computer chair again.

"Dunno. Maybe in case I forget." Tailmon shook her head, bemused.

"In that case, don't forget to add how the Kaiser looks after he's been beaten! Now there's a funny expression!" The two laughed.

"Davis?" The door slid open and Takeru peered into the room. "There you are! We'd thought maybe you'd been kidnapped!" The blond came in, amused by his own joke. Daisuke rolled his eyes.

"Oh, Aa? Well then you wouldn't have much trouble finding me," [Yeah] He stood up and struck a – very strange – pose. "Who could resist someone like me?"

"A sane Digimon?" Tailmon tried, causing the dark-skinned youth to Facefault. Takeru merely laughed and came over to the window to pet the cat-Digimon. Daisuke returned to his seat, only to miss in his hast to appear 'normal' and ended up on his butt again.

"How can such a great soccer player be such a klutz?" Takeru laughed.

"Practise!" Said Daisuke, grinning rather foolishly. He was enjoying the attention the blond and Digimon were giving him. It was as if they were all real – rather mismatched – friends. "So, TJ, why were you looking for me?"

"It's TK, and my mom phoned your mom to see if I could come over today." Daisuke blinked.

"How come?" Takeru eyed him as if he found the redhead strangely humorous.

"Well you see she's a reporter and she's mostly not home, and because she doesn't want me to be on my own she asked if I could hang out with you. That is, if its alright?"

"What did my mom say?" He asked after letting this sink in. Takeru shrugged.

"She said it'd be great." Daisuke smiled.

"Then its okay, though… could I ask a question?"

"Sure, what?"

"Why'd you want to come hang out with me?" Takeru stared at him for the longest time before he – half playfully – held up his hand and started to count off by his fingers.

"Well first your place is on my mom's route home from work, second I couldn't stay with Miyako because of her after-school chores and activities, plus her brother keeps giving me weird looks. And I couldn't stay at Iori's because of mostly the same reason. And I couldn't stay at-"

"Alright! Daijoubu! Sheesh, you think of everything don't you Takaishi-kun?" [All right] Daisuke quickly hid his face in his arms, realising what he'd just said.

You see he'd been calling Takeru all the different abbreviations for TK as a joke, and the only times he'd ever called his friend Takaishi were when he was either being rude or joking. Of course the -Kun had been a surprise, seeing as he only ever called him that in his own head.

"Thanks Davis." Takeru was either a real blond, or hadn't noticed. Well, either that or he had noticed and just didn't think much about it.

Daisuke raised his head to see Tailmon smiling her own feral grin at him.

It was much, much later, in fact a few hours later, when the group got together once more to head off to the Digital World…

~*^*^*~

I can't believe that I'm even thinking this but these guys may just be good friends after all. It may be a bit soon to think so but they have all the makings of good friends, of what I know of them anyway. At least they're kind to me and try, unlike other 'friends' I've met. Anyway, back to the whole Digiworld thing.

The next day we went with Taichi to the Digital World, once again seeing these Dark Spires. We went to this sort of small colosseum type structure where some Gotsumon were being held captive. They said that the Kaiser was making them fight each other for his amusement, which made the others pretty mad. Me, I just tried to figure out how someone could find it amusing to watch two creatures fight each other. Frankly I don't think I want to know.

Anyway, because we were worried at how easily we were able to help them, we took the Gotsumon back to the real world with us. Now you see, Gotsumon are basically small moving piles of rocks, with eyes and… something resembling a brain. When we got back our little 'plan' for hiding them was telling anyone who happened to come into the classroom that they were some experiments Iori had made for his sculpting class. Of course I'm still trying to figure out wether or not he was lying about actually taking one, cause he never said anything about it before. Then again who spends their free time with their friends talking about which classes they take?

Ahem, anyway. Koushiro asked to borrow Miyako's Digivice to find out how come our new devices could open Digiports, and their old ones couldn't. Actually I'd like to ask how he figured that out, cause I'd like to know too.

We all went our somewhat separate ways after this. I heard Takeru was going to go ask his brother, Yamato, with help in hiding the Gotsumon. Miyako and Hikari stayed in the computer room and last I heard of Iori he was also in the computer room with the Digimon.

I went away to the music room to practise few of the many instruments I play. The reason I have so many 'hobbies' is because I'm sort of like, stuck-in-a-wall. I'm not sure of the things I like and am good at, so whenever I find I can do something, no matter how small, I normally end up doing it. Which is why I can play Guitar, piano/keyboard, drums, the viola and two different wind instruments (One of which I normally carry around with me everywhere).

I noticed a letter on the door, which was a request for 'music tutors'. Well seeing as I taught myself to play most of my instruments by chance, and books, it sounded like a fun thing to do.

Just as I was writing down my name and the days I'd be able to help, my D-terminal went off. It was from Miyako saying there was trouble in the Digiworld. I finished my entry and hurried down to the next floor where the computer room was. See our school building has three floors, not including the basement or the roof, both of which are also frequented by students and teachers alike.

As I got there Yamato and Takeru both showed up, Miyako half scolding me for being late. Hey lighten up, it's not like I don't have anything better to do! Well, okay no I don't but still.

It turns out that it was Gabumon, Yamato's Digimon, who looked in pretty bad shape when we found him next to the TV set. It's pretty cool how the Digimon are able to send a quick SOS through the TV's (which are actually 'hidden' Digiports) to their partners.

Now the Digital Kaiser had taken over a small town Gabumon was watching over called Santa Ceria, where he had told them to construct something called a Control Spire. Now, as Gabumon was saying this, I realised those Spires must not just be either markers or perhaps monuments, and so was determined to find this out.

Of course I don't think I helped that much when I said perhaps we could Armour Digivolve and just bust on in. I was thinking perhaps with our Armour Digimon we might be able to bust in, scaring off what Gabumon said were called Veggimon.

Of course then Yamato got mad and said we should be careful if we wanted to save the trapped Gazimon. Now I don't care what anyone says, I'm not a complete idiot, I know the difference between breaking in and sneaking in, but sometimes someone has to make at least one stupid suggestion if only to help the others think more clearly on what we should do. Well okay, actually I thought that because every other time we'd come we'd fought as hard as we could, and though I knew this time should be different I wasn't about to say so for fear of being rejected. That worked about as well as me trying to keep a straight face while singing…

So Takeru and Hikari decided to sneak up and try and rescue the Gazimon, or find out about this control spire. Of course then I shoot off, not wanting to be left behind while my two new friends could be in serious danger. Of course trying to be light-hearted by called Takeru T.E., as well as them probably getting the wrong ideas from my ramblings didn't much help.

Of course they didn't have to laugh at me because I was jokingly getting Takeru's nickname wrong. You try and act like the worlds your friend… oi…

So we do come up with a plan in the end… a really good one, mind. Funny it was Tailmon's idea; I like her, she's pretty cool. Then again I like all the Digimon, they're kind of like pets, only if your going to tell them all your secrets they can answer back, though unlike say, a human friend, they'll keep it secret as well. Of course I've never told anyone my 'secrets' if you could call them that, so I'm not too sure on the whole 'trust' thing.

~*^*^*~

He watched as they all went their separate ways, either home or to other areas. He sat on the crossing rails as he waited for Takeru, who was inside talking to someone. Frankly he didn't care who and was greatful for the time he had to spend in his own thoughts.

He gave a faint shudder at the memory of snow and wind. Today they had travelled to an area called 'Crystal Land', where everything was basically a frozen wasteland.

Daisuke hated the cold with an almost unnatural passion. Because he was just about frozen on the inside, feeling cold on the outside tended to be a lot worse then for a normal person. To explain this further you'd have to understand that because of how badly bruised and cut Daisuke was, he tended to feel either the heat or cold on whole different levels compared to other kids.

But for now the Control spires occupied his mind, or Dark towers. They had seen one when they'd travelled to the Digiworld with Taichi to free the Gotsumon, and had figured out later that day that they were the source of power for the dark rings; Kind of like beacons, or antennae.

They – meaning himself and the rest of the Digidestined – had found out that most of the Digiworld was covered in these spires – as shown by Koushiro. It would take quite a while to revert all of those Black squares to White ones.

He shook his head, heaved yet another sigh and took off his backpack. He would have started searching absently inside had a blue and White face not popped out with a loud gasp just under his hands.

"Uwa! Chibimon!" [*A scream, or shout* Waah!] He shoved the little Digimon back into his pack. "What are you doing in there?!"

"I wanted to come home with you." The little guy pouted. "Miyako and Iori took Upamon and Poromon home, and Tailmon and Patamon keep going out too, and I was getting lonely." Daisuke stiffened slightly. He knew what it was like to be lonely, on completely new levels to what Chibimon felt, and so decided to hold the little Digimon to his words.

"Alright, but I have a rule for you to follow for now. There'll be more when we get home, got it?" The little guy bounced in the bag, joyous. "You mustn't make any noise while you're in that backpack. Now listen carefully. If I heard so much as a squeak your headed right back into the computer lab cupboard, and I'll never take you home again, got it?" Chibimon blinked up at him.

"I promise…" He said, looking uneasy.

"Davis be nice to him," Takeru said as he ventured out of the gates. Daisuke jumped again and hugged the backpack as if for protection. Either Takeru was the most unobservant person he'd ever met, or didn't find this unusual. "He just wanted to be with you, just like all our Digimon." He reached up to scratch Patamon's head, from where the orange and tan Digimon was resting on his own head.

Then the blond grew serious, eyeing Daisuke with the gaze of someone in authority.

"I thought you'd already taken Chibimon home with you. Did you leave him in that cupboard for two weeks?"

"A week, 2 days, and 16 hours." Takeru stared at his friend. Patamon gave what sounded to be a giggle, and Chibimon poked his head out of the bag again, munching on something Daisuke defined as crumbs left from past breakfasts and lunches.

"You are very strange."

"Look who's talking, Gilligan!" The two started walking together.

"At least I don't wear Go-guru as a fashion!" [Goggles]

"At least I have fashion."

"What? That bomber jacket you wear?"

"Your shirt is blue and yellow!"

"So?"

"It looks like puke!"

"I _like_ blue and yellow!"

"You _like_ puke?!"

A/N: The part about Takeru coming over to Daisuke's came from the episode when Ms. Takaishi was talking to Mr. Motomiya one Christmas eve. You know, how she thanks him for having Takeru come over so often. The last part might sound a little odd, but that's because I thought Takeru's shirt was yellow and _green_ and had to change it after checking the pictures. (Its actually Aqua but okay (**; P**)


	5. San Continued

Daisuke's Journal 

[San (Cont.)]

While in Santa Ceria, we were 'captured' and thrown into a cell. Our Digimon knocked out the only two Veggimon guards and we started heading uphill to the top of the cliff behind the village. The reason we did this is because we didn't want to attract any more attention then we already had. We wanted to get the Gazimon out of there safely.

Of course I kept opening my big mouth and Yamato didn't seem too impressed by this. Now you see this is why I like making friends with people who are younger then me. One: because everyone who is my age is immature, creepy and scare me to death just by making an innocent suggestion. Two: because everyone older then me is even scarier and tend to try and pick me apart just by looking at me.

Then, because fate hates me about as much as the whole world, Takeru brought up my older sister. She had obviously been in 'Fangirl' mode at his brother's practise-concert and had run off to get him to sign her T-shirt. I think the reason she's covering it in autographs is because I'm the one who gave it to her. Anyway I instantly thought she'd gone off and mouthed off about me, mostly lies and rude comments. I thought this because whenever someone she meets mentions me, she goes off into this 'older sister mode' and says all sorts of things about me.

I was actually half surprised to learn that she hadn't mentioned me at all accept to confirm that we were related. I guess she doesn't want to talk about her 'disgusting younger sibling' in front of cute guys…

Yamato got mad again and just about threw me off the cliff! I swear he is one of the few people who scare me as much as my own father.

I mean, come on, only a few minutes ago he's busy telling me how fighting's not the only answer and we should leave it as a last resort, and here he comes flying at me possibly to punch me off a cliff face! Now you see why I'm scared of older kids. Kids my age tend to just mouth-off at me when I can't seem to shut my own, while an older kid wants to flatten me!

I guess I deserved that. But afterwards I guess I went a bit far in 'assuming' that bad-mouthing my sister was what brothers were for. But come on, she does it to me all the time, and I've at least been nice enough not to do it to her.

Hikari got mad and yelled at me. She says she doesn't like anyone talking badly about their brother or sister, but really I didn't actually say anything about Jun, just myself, most of which were lies but that's beside the point.

Afterwards I just decided to ignore the world and follow along behind in silence. I think maybe I worried Veemon cause he suddenly started trying to cheer me up. Though his jokes weren't what I would call very humorous.

Now this part was relevant to what happened next, because at the top when we were about to climb down we were ambushed by some Veggimon, followed by their leader: Red Veggimon.

Veemon was still trying to make me feel better and so while we were all 'tied up' he took on Red Veggimon by himself. This ended up in the Control Spire being cracked, and Gabumon being able to Digivolve to Garurumon. I had quickly feigned content and called to Veemon that I was happy, if only to stop him getting hurt.

We were able to destroy the Control Spire, thus releasing the Dark Ring's hold on the Veggimon. Taichi, Koushiro and Miyako showed up with the Gotsumon, and Garurumon was left in charge of guarding the village of Santa Ceria.

Later Koushiro showed us a map of the Digiworld he had found on Miyako's Digivice. It was covered in Black squares where control spires were located. He pointed out the area where we had been, and that it was now White whence once it was Black.

~*^*^*~

"Hey, what are you doing?"

"Writing."

"Writing what?"

"Stuff."

"Okay then, don't tell me." The blond plopped back down on the floor and started on his homework again. Daisuke only smiled at him, feeling somewhat more in good cheer. He'd never had anyone come over to hang out with him before, even if it was doing homework. It was actually kind of fun.

Patamon and Chibimon had been last seen bouncing on the bed, though Daisuke had no idea where they were now.

With a brief shake of his head Daisuke went back to work on his lyrics/Homework/ideas, as was the estranged set-up of his desk.

It was a while later before Daisuke saw Takeru off out the door with Patamon. His mother had come up to get him, and was busy thanking his dad. _'I hope he doesn't have one of his weird mood swings like he did when Mom started inviting the neighbours over without his permission'_ was one of the only thoughts in his head, that and wether or not Takeru would come over again.

He went back to his room to find Chibimon asleep on the bed pillow, and he couldn't help but smile at the scene. As per usual he sketched it and, while tidying his desk, decided to finish writing in his journal…

~*^*^*~

The next day I had decided to talk to Hikari alone, perhaps in the Digiworld (Since I couldn't think of anywhere else). I wanted to at least tell her that I was worried about our friendship and if she even thought of me that way anymore. Unfortunately Miyako and Takeru were in the computer room and so would evidently want to come with us, and there goes my chance of talking to Hikari.

Iori had gone off to Kendo practise with his grandfather, and so we were a little anxious when we got a distress call from the Digiworld. (Which was why Takeru and Miyako were in there in the first place)

Then before we could go, Jyou showed up, and after introductions were made, along came Iori. All in a rush, you understand, so we were off in the next second.

We travelled to 'Crystal Land', which was a snow and ice wasteland. Jyou is a doctor in training, and his partner Gomamon, is a sea type Digimon with a cool orange Mohawk. I like Jyou because he's almost as nervous as me at times, and unlike other older kids he actually tried to be friends with us other then just tolerating us. At least that's the impression that I get. He's just like Iori. Always thinking ahead and listening to everyone's ideas.

I kept interrupting Iori when he was trying to introduce himself to Jyou, which I have to admit it rather rude but sometimes that boy is so polite you wonder if he actually _sees_ the situation.

Anyhoo we had to cross the ice after digging Gomamon out of the snow, and since the others weren't coming up with anything I suggested we went on a sled. A few fallen trees later and we had a really good sled all ready to go, the Digimon roped on like snow-dogs.

What puzzles me is that no one thanked me, or even suggested anything along the lines that it had been a good idea of mine. Oh no, they just decided to take my 'single moment of inspiration' for granted. (Except for the comment on how the sled looked. Thankyou Miyako-Chan!)

Anyway, across the ice we go, being attacked by giant teddy-bear snowmen (YukiDarumon) and the Kaiser. We managed to avoid the large champions, almost all ending up in a frozen river, which only poor Iori landed in. Fortunately Gomamon jumped in after him.

While Iori stayed in a cave with Jyou (Not at all happy about being left behind) we went off to destroy the control spire. I'll spare you the details and finish to say: it was eventually destroyed, releasing the YukiDarumon, an Ebidramon and a Shellmon, with help from Ikkakumon, Gomamon's Champion form.

Afterwards Iori was able to introduce himself properly to Jyou, which I found a little funny. The others pointed out that Iori reminds them a lot of a mixture of both Jyou and Koushiro, which I'm still trying to figure out if he took as a compliment or not. I guess Iori doesn't like being laughed at…

Iori later invited Jyou to come over to visit him and his grandfather, to which Hikari decided to join as well. I had never been to Iori's and had heard about his grandfather a lot. Needless to say I wanted to visit too, and made a terrible show of gaining permission.

Oh well, I guess practising biting my tongue is back on my 'Top Things To Do' list. Again.

It seems to me, through all of this, that the older kids seem to have extremely strong relationships with their Digimon Partners. Taichi was the first back into Digiworld, to help Agumon; Koushiro and Sora were so very happy to see their Digimon; and Jyou just about threw a fit when we found Gomamon buried in the snow!

Then I noticed that Takeru and Hikari share a similar bond with their Digimon. I must admit Takeru seems awfully possessive of Patamon. The two never go anywhere without the other, and if I didn't know any better, I'd swear the little guy was glued to Takeru's hat!

I wish I could be as close to someone as they can…

~ M. A. D / ~Red*Dragon~ / |~AkaiDra~|

+ End Journal Entry +

~*^*^*~

00:06.

The neon blue light lit up the immediate area of a desktop. A pair of goggles reflected the light from where they hung from a bedpost. The glowing numbers silhouetted a Navy-Blue notebook and a Silver-Grey pen.

In the bed a young man fought against an invisible force, tossing slightly, and murmuring under the thin blankets. A small creature stirred a few times on the pillow, shared by the youth.

Quite suddenly the boy shot up with a strangled cry, eyes darting frantically as he surveyed the room in search of his enemy. But only darkness surrounded him, and the sound of silence cloaked that darkness.

The little creature gave a cry of its own and looked about in a flurry, aghast in thought that it was under attack. Though in these precious moments the little Digimon found himself in a strange, silent place, with a person who was very familiar to his sleep-hazed mind.

"Dai-suke?" He tried, catching the attention of the youth. He quickly got out of bed, and left the room at a speed, which told the little monster that something was defiantly amiss.

Chibimon could not even force himself back into his dreams of sunshine and games, his mind too filled with concern over his human partner; though also with confusion and fear.

Daisuke had never acted like this before, and so the little in training had no idea what to do. Only a few days ago he had seen his partner quite depressed as if some great weight had been pressed hard on his shoulders. But now, this was the first time he'd been 'allowed' to come home with his friend and the only thing he could notice was that similar emotion being resurrected again and again.

While watching Daisuke and Takeru he had noticed how Daisuke did not seem as hyperactive or motivated as we normally was at school and the Digiworld. He had also noticed that while the two talked, whenever Takeru would joke about a certain thing, or raise his voice even a bit, Daisuke seemed momentarily distressed and frightened, before seeming to bring up a barrier and laugh in spite of this sudden weakness.

Chibimon looked up just as Daisuke re-entered the room and sat on the edge of the bed, rubbing his eyes and gasping as if he'd been for a run.

"Daisuke?" The Digimon tried again.

"Hmm?"

"Why did you get up like that?"

"Just… forgot to… brush my teeth." He turned to smile at the little Digimon, his face half hidden in shadow. Chibimon did not want to mention that he could not smell the powerful mint aroma, which was typical of his toothpaste, or that Daisuke had already brushed his teeth that evening. But he did notice that the boys face was wet, specifically around the eyes.

"Were you crying?" He tried, suddenly not sure of himself. _Why would Daisuke be crying?_

The boy hesitated, his smile and expression faltering. He then gave another smiled and lay back down.

"Iie," He gave a chuckle. "Its just water."

"Oh." But he was not convinced, and that night he did not sleep as deeply as usual. Worry for his partner and friend, his main concern.

A/N: YukiDarumon is the Japanese name for Frigimon. I just kept forgetting the English version. -_-'


	6. Angels, Fairies & Robots

Daisuke's Journal 

[Angels, Fairies and Robots]

~| Daisuke fell to his knees in the dark bubble, whimpering quietly as the voices surrounded him. They were all his friend's… people who called him 'Tomodachi' [Friend] anyway. They all ridiculed him, some showing their faces and wearing him down with their words.

_"You of all people don't deserve the Digimental of Courage."_

_"Look at you! You are weak!"_

_"Your not a Digidestined! __Kimi ga haibokusha desho__, a pretender, you always have been!"_ [You're a loser]

Takeru stepped out of the shadows and glared down at the sobbing boy, who couldn't help but raise his eyes to the blonde's.

"Why, Daisuke?" Masaka - No way!, It can't be, By no means

"What?" The kneeling one asked.

"Why did your parents want you?" Daisuke stared at him.

"They don't," He answered, making the blond smirk almost evilly.

"Of course not!" He shouted. "No one does!" Back into the shadows he went. More faces, more voices.

_"Pathetic! Veemon only stays with you because he doesn't know any better!"_

_"Stop crying, you wimp!"_

_"It's your fault, everything is your fault!"_

"Gomen Nasai!" [I am so very sorry/I am sorry, please forgive me] Daisuke screamed into the darkness and faint blurs. "Gomen! Gomen!" [I am Sorry]

"You know that's not good enough." Said Hikari, before disappearing.

_"Just admit it, you were worthless from the start!"_

"I know! I'm nothing! I'm sorry!"

_"Don't be sorry! Urusei! No one wants to hear your snivelling!"_ [Shut up]

Yamato stepped out of the shadows and glared down at the boy with cold blue eyes.

"New Leader my ass! I should have pushed you off that cliff long ago!"

Daisuke stared up at the oldest blond, tears streaking across his face and vision. Yamato disappeared and Taichi took his place.

"What are you supposed to be? A doppelganger? Please, your just like your sister, only worse!" And he was gone too.

_"Pathetic!"_

"Onegai…" [Please] Daisuke's forehead touched the floor.

_"Oh look! It speaks!"_

"Please… Forgive me! I did wrong and I admit to everything. Onegai, Gomen. So, so sorry…"

_"Not good enough!"_

_"Weakling!"_

_"Coward!"_

_"Impostor!"_

Daisuke screamed into the night. |~

"_No… Please…"_

"Daisuke! Wake Up!"
    
    "_'M sorry…"_

"Daisuke! Daisuke! Daisuke! _Daisuke!_"

"Hmm? Uh…" _'Who's that?'_ Cracking open his eyes revealed a little blue and White blob bouncing on his chest. _'Ano…'_ [Oh]

"G'morning! Sleep well?" _'Sleep? What's that?'_ Deciding against scaring his little friend Daisuke answered semi-normally instead.
    
    "Uh, yeah… until I heard all that screaming!" He sat up and glared at the clock on his desk.
    
    "The next time I tell you to wake me up, try to be a little quieter so I can get some sleep!" Chibimon pouted.

"But you said to wake you up for the picnic."

"What picnic?" He stretched and got out of bed, still glaring at the clock as if it were the source of his troubles.

"The one in the Digiworld." Daisuke sighed.

"It's Sunday, the others took my ramblings seriously on a Saturday, and my Digimon is hyperactive." He picked up the 'Blue-rat' and started gathering up some clothes.

"You dun hafta be mean!"

"Boku wa sukoshimo!" [I am not (at all)] Chibimon looked up at him, confused, as Daisuke actually looked taken-aback at the comment.

"I'm jus kidding Dai-sook!" The boy sighed.

"How many times to I have to tell you: It's Dai-_skay_!"

*

Skidding around the corner revealed only Hikari walking towards the school. So of course Daisuke hurried to catch up.

"Hey 'Kari!" He called, clutching Chibimon with one arm, and keeping his pack on his back with the other hand. The brunette turned to smile at the sight of her friend.

"Konnichiwa Davis!" Ignoring the 'Damned Nickname' Daisuke smiled and walked alongside her.

"Where's Tailmon?" There was the sound of muffled cries from inside Hikari's backpack. "Oh."

"Shush Tailmon! You can't come out till we get there." Daisuke quickly hid a snigger at the grumbling from inside the pack.

"Hey, 'Kari?" Daisuke tried as they came in view of the school. The others weren't there yet.

"Yeah?" The distracted brunette answered.

"Could I talk to you about… something?" She suddenly sighed and looked irritated.

"No Davis, I will not go out with you."

"Nani?! Iie, no… That's not what…!" [What, No]

"Look, there are the others!" While Daisuke tried to figure out what had just happened he led the small group onto the school grounds and to the computer room.

~*^*^*~

+ Journal Entry, Shi +

On Sunday we went to the Digiworld to have a picnic, since we decided perhaps whoever the Digmon Kaiser was could only get in on a weekday. Though we chose a spot without a control spire nearby.

As we had snuck in someone arrived in the doorway, probably attracted by Miyako's yelling. Not that I blame her, seeing as we were all still pretty excited about going to Digiworld.

That person was Mimi, the 11th Digidestined. She had been looking around the school, which she used to go to before she moved to America. We had left the front gate and door open, and so she'd come in after us. We decided to invite her along to the picnic, which she was pretty thrilled about.

In the Digiworld the others had wanted to stop and set up the picnic almost right away, though being the strange person that I am I decided we should wander around till lunchtime.

Of course then someone, I think it was Hikari, said that they were hungry. I instantly thought that maybe they'd skipped breakfast to eat at the picnic and quickly had us stop. I realised later that it was Hikari, and Takeru was making sarcastic comments behind my back about it. Sometimes he can be such a jerk it isn't even funny. Though half the time I don't think he even realises it.

Anyway, Hawkmon asked Armadiomon for a Sushi roll, and of course he threw it at him. While Miyako ran off after Hawkmon and the rolling roll, Mimi, looking worried, followed after them. We didn't think much of it at the time until that time turned into over half an hour and we couldn't hear or see them.

We managed to search them out later after finding a host of freed Gekomon and Otamamon who'd earlier tried to run the girls over.

They'd met up with Mimi's Digimon, Palmon, who Digivolved to Togemon, and managed to destroy a control spire in the Night Forest. The two must have made good friends because they seemed pretty close afterwards.

I think Miyako had a crush on Mimi at one point, although you can never tell what's going on in Miyako's head to tell half the time. Not to be rude or anything, she's like another sister to me, but she is quite complex. I know she really isn't into 'stalking' guys all that much; she just makes quick judgements and stuff. But that's the reason I like her. Heck my real sisters worse, after all.

Mimi reminds me of one of those 'good fairies', you know from the fairy tales and things? It's because she's so nice and sincere.

It was a while later (2 days actually) when we were busy destroying control spires with the older kids. We'd spent all day at it with our Digimon. So far we'd knocked down about 14 control spires when we newer kids decided to go after the last one. It was in a city covered by a dome, and machine-type Digimon lived there. We were surrounded by hundreds of Guardromon before we could even find the control spire! It wasn't nice that I was busy estimating how many there were and Miyako has to go and make fun of me because I said a number higher then 10.

Anyway, the Digimon were weak from being Digivolved and destroying spires all day, so we had to leave. Unfortunately just as we'd gotten through a Guardromon used his Grenade Destroyer attack and destroyed the Digiport for that area. The bad news is that Hikari was the last in line, and so was trapped behind while we'd managed to get through.

Of course I went off and snapped at Takeru, as she was only just behind him. Truth is she was my first true friend, and so was considered a best friend to me. I was always there to keep an eye on her, through whatever we went through. Next thing I know she barely even remembers my name. Fortunately Iori was there to keep us from getting into an all-out brawl, and fortunately still that Hikari was all right and sent us a message with her D-terminal.

Anyway I think I got it into Takeru's head that it was all his fault Hikari was trapped in the Dome City. So he went off to a Digiport somewhere in the desert so as to walk to the city. I quickly went after him in case he needed me, also I wanted to make sure Hikari was all right. They are both my friends and there's no way I was going to let them down.

Anyway Takeru and I walked across the desert together from the Digiport on our way to the Dome City. I told Takeru we'd flip a coin to see who went in. I was trying to keep him out of trouble since Flamdramon was a better fighter then Pegasusmon. Also I'd decided it was actually my fault for all of this happening. I was the one who dragged us all along without the older kids help; I was the one wanting to stick behind and fight, and unlike many other times I hadn't been the last one through the Digiport. Plus I wasn't helping much, blaming Takeru.

Of course he realised by coin-toss was a dud – a double tailed coin – cause he had one himself, which he normally used on his Niisan. [Older brother] Lucky me. Now we were both on our way to a quick stomping. Of course as we got there it was to my surprise – not to mention Veemon's – when Takeru had Patamon Digivolve to his champion level: Angemon. I must admit it was a shock. I'd always referred to Takeru as a 'Perfect Little Angel' if only to annoy him, but this was just nuts!

Later he told me that Tailmon could evolve to Angewomon, which was yet another shock, and for similar reasons. I guess I must have looked silly trying to figure out if all destined Digimon could evolve to angel-like Digimon. Silly me.

After Armour Digivolving we were able to find Hikari and Nefertimon just before they were shot down. I guess Flamdramon was feeling bad about me having to run along behind because next thing I know he's got me round the stomach and holding on while he jumps over the Guardromon. Despite being in the middle of a battle I couldn't help but feel a little comforted by being so close to Flamdramon. I've never known anyone to help me up, never mind actually pick me up before.

Suddenly another type of machine Digimon showed up. This one was called Andromon and – get this – he used to be a friend of the older Digidestined. Hikari tried to talk to him but he was under the control of the Digital Kaiser. Pegasusmon and Flamdramon tried to get to the dark ring around his neck, but the next thing they were rookies and Takeru and I had to catch them. At this point, in the real world that is, I would've been running. Our Digimon were beat and Andromon – who looked remarkably like a bully I used to know at my last school – was bearing down on us.

Then Taichi, Miyako and Iori showed up just in time. Somehow, I don't know how, Andromon was able to recognise Taichi and Hikari, also the goggles Taichi had given me. He picked up Hikari, trying to remember her, much to everyone's shock. Fortunately he was able to remember, and with a little help from Hikari's Digivice he was able to overpower the dark ring and destroy it! He destroyed the control spire and was left in charge of the city to reprogram and protect the Guardromon.

Later, when we got back to the real world, Koushiro was there, waiting for us. We snuck out of the school together – since it was about 8 at night – and Koushiro told Taichi that he wasn't too happy about being left out. Taichi had called Yamato, who'd given a cover story for me to my sister (Oh joy…) but no one had called him.

He, of course, didn't seem too bothered about it after Taichi apologised. He told us that he'd managed to figure out a bit about our Digivices. They have three different settings: Digital, Discover, and Detect. Detect: to find someone else with a Digivice, Discover: To find Digimentals, and Digital: To open the Digiports. You see I heard Koushiro saying once that in the Digiworld we had been recomposed into bio-data much like the Digimon. Except when we return to the real world, the Digimon stay data. Anyway, Chibimon oh-so-delicately pointed out that we were late for dinner. So everyone ran off home. Of course I'm sure the others probably got their dinner, while I wasn't even allowed the leftovers I normally have.

Dad and Mom were pretty mad when I got home. Jun was in her room saying something about having a date on Friday. I guess she figured out Yamato wasn't being entirely truthful when he'd come over earlier. I bet he's going to kill me now.

Apparently she'd _conveniently_ forgotten to tell them I'd be home a little late.

Later I returned to my room to find Chibimon under the bed. I'd forgotten to close my door so he'd heard the whole thing. I kind of yelled at him to stay in the room earlier, and couldn't stop myself yelling again to stop him asking any questions. Boy do I feel like crap now…

~ M. A. D / ~Red*Dragon~ / |~AkaiDra~|

+ End Journal Entry +

~*^*^*~

Daisuke opened the door and peered into the apartment. He could hear the TV on in the lounge, and the sound of his mother laughing. He could hear his sister in her room, though he wasn't sure where his father was. Chibimon nuzzled against him, looking up in confusion and concern. Obviously he was wondering when he was going to be fed.

With a faint smile at his Digimon partner Daisuke quickly removed his shoes and quietly shut the front door. He snuck down the hall in his socks, peering into the lounge as he went by. His mother was watching a show on the TV, which was probably an old comedy, though he couldn't see the aforementioned box from where he was.

He quickly slipped past the doorway, clutching a squirming Chibimon firmly as he went. Ever since that night he'd woken up from a nightmare Chibimon had been paying extra attention to him. He'd stubbornly managed to stop Daisuke from leaving him behind at the school many a time, so that the youth simply gave up and took him home. But it was still unnerving waking up after a nightmare only to have to hide under the covers because a blue and White face was watching him with blood-ruby eyes.

He'd managed to get to his room just before a loud voice boomed from the lounge: his Tousan. [Father]

"Boy! Is that you?"

"H-hai Tou-sama!" [-Sama: Master/great respect] He managed to choke out as he opened his bedroom door.

"Get in here!"

"Coming!" He threw Chibimon into the room before glaring at him. "Now listen to me carefully, Chibimon. I want you to stay in here, okay. I don't care what you hear or what happens. Stay. In. Here! Got that?" Chibimon stared up at him, looking horrified.

"But Dai-"

"No Buts!" The youth hissed. "Stay in here!" And with that he hurried into the lounge, leaving a startled in training in his wake.

Standing before his father Daisuke felt as if he were once again facing Andromon, only this time he was on his own, and 'Andromon' wasn't going to become good suddenly like last time.

"How many times do I have to tell you?" His father growled, glaring down at the boy in front of him, while Daisuke managed to train his eyes on the floor just in front of the couch. "If you're going to be home late either call or," His father added sudden emphasis to the last part. "_Don't come home at all!_" Daisuke winced and nodded slowly.

"Hai Tou-san." Noticing the sudden intake of breath Daisuke quickly finished, "-ma?" His father relaxed.

Suddenly he seemed very caught up with staring at the youth in front of him, as if seeing him for the first time. As his father eyed him Daisuke noticed his mother still laughing at the Black and White movie. She was either completely oblivious to her family, or was extremely good at ignoring them.

"Where did you get those?" _'Huh?'_ Daisuke raised his eyes slightly to see his father staring straight at him. It was then he realised he was still wearing his goggles. _'Chikuso…!'_ [Shit]

Ever since he'd first gotten the eyewear from Taichi he'd avoided his father and kept them in his room in the hope of making it appear as if they were his old square ones. But those were lying broken somewhere in the Digiworld.

"Well… er… I was playing soccer with my friend Taichi, and uh… they kind of broke…" He noticed his father getting angry now, and finished quickly. "So he gave me his old ones." Silence.

Daisuke could hear his mother laughing loudly at something on the TV, which probably wasn't even that funny, she just wasn't looking forward to the wrangle that was soon to come.

"A Date! A date with him! Friday at Eight, that's what I said!" That was Jun on her cellphone, in her room. There was a faint thud as she collapsed on her old bed, which his dad had said he would be replacing next week. Which meant his one would be traded in, and he'd get Jun's old one.

"And where," His father spoke softly. "Are your old ones?" _'Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!'_

"Uuh… Uhp… Uhp… Ungh…" Daisuke stuttered, wracking his brain for any sort of explanation, anything at all. Well, at least anything other then 'I left them in another world'. "I…don't… know?"

Either this was the wrong answer or his dad had already been building up his anger, because next thing he knew Daisuke was being thrown across the room by his goggles, which snapped off his head into his father's hand.

With a cry he hit the wall and looked up as his father glared at the glass and plastic objects in his fist. Motomiya-san turned slowly and headed to the window, before he threw the eyewear out and turned back on his son.

"I suggest, boy, that you go and fetch your friends… gift… before I change my mind. Or someone else finds them." Daisuke was up and out of the door, forgetting to put on his shoes as he did.

Outside it had gotten cooler and Daisuke had to run around the corner only to see the goggles in the middle of the road. No matter what anyone said to him, Daisuke refused to call them 'his'. Because of course, they still belonged to Taichi, in his mind anyway.

Running out into the road he retrieved his goggles and managed to reach the pavement all before a bunch of hooning teenagers sped past out of the blue, disappearing into the night.

Gasping for breath the 11-year-old hurried back up the apartment, slipping on the stairs as he went.

Back upstairs he opened the apartment door only to be grabbed by his neck and flung into the hall. The goggles flew under the telephone bench and his father slammed the door closed.

"Now look, your socks are all dirty." His father lifted him up off the floor and up to his eye level. "Look at me!" Daisuke obeyed only to be flung into another wall, his father still gripping his throat. "Now, perhaps you'll remember yourself before anything like this happens again, hmm?"

Daisuke nodded frantically, anything to return to the safety of his room. His father dropped him down and stepped over him, walking smoothly into the lounge. Waiting barely a few seconds Daisuke got up, grabbed the goggles and headed for his room.

"Oh, and boy?"

"H-hai?"

"I don't like what kind of influence your 'friends' have on you. Your new curfew is 5 O'clock, and I don't want you sneaking out of your room anymore."

"H-hai T-Tou-s-sama." Daisuke slipped into his room.

Inside the room was dark and warm. Daisuke closed the door and slid to the floor, looking at the goggles in his hands. He threw them as hard as he could into the wall before he buried his face in his hands, gasping for breath.

After a while, just as he was starting to calm down there was a sudden pressure of warmth against his leg. It moved against him cat-like and he swore he could hear a quite murmuring, or whimpering coming from it.

"Uwa?" [Shout/Sound of surprise] He looked up and saw Chibimon looking back at him, frightened.

"Are you all right?" Daisuke quickly pushed the little Digimon away and stood up. He then proceeded to change into his pyjamas. "Daisuke?" The In training bounded onto the bed and watched as his friend dressed quickly, before moving around as if on automatic pilot, cleaning up his old laundry and putting it in the hamper and picking up bits and pieces.

It was about an hour later before Daisuke lay down on the bed and breathed a deep sigh.

"Daisuke?" Chibimon had watched him the whole time.

"What?" The boy snapped, yet half groaned as well. The little monster winced before moving closer to the youth's head.

"Why did your dad do that?" He froze suddenly, looking towards the door.

His room – and the apartment – was soundproof. One: so his family couldn't hear him. Two: so their neighbours couldn't hear him. And Three: so no one else had to hear when his dad beat him. But Daisuke had accidentally left the door open, and so Chibimon was able to hear everything that had happened.

"Just… forget it."

"But Dai-"

"I said forget it!" The Digimon jumped and moved away quickly. "Its just… normal. There's nothing to worry about."

"He hurt you." Daisuke turned to glare at his Digimon, who quickly looked away.

"I made a mistake and I was getting punished for it. It's that simple. No go to sleep!" And with that he rolled over and under the covers.

Chibimon stared at the back of his partner's head, feeling dazed, sick and utterly confused. Surely it was wrong for his father to hurt him, wasn't it? And why wouldn't he even say Daisuke's name?

So very worried and scared the little Digimon curled up at the foot of the bed feeling devastated over the idea that this world was so very harsh. Even Digimon adults didn't beat children like that. (Champions and Rookies) So why were humans so very violent and different? It didn't make any sense to him. Yet… somehow… it didn't surprise him…

A/N: I take my writing quite seriously, and often get right into the mind of the characters and situations. So if these seem somewhat 'tame' or strange it's because this is all very new to me. I'm not very good at angst *Sweatdrop* mostly because I'm almost as happy-go-lucky and ditzy as the real Daisuke! (I mean the dubbed version) So Anyhoo, maybe next chapter I'll lay off the Journal part Cuz those are the hardest to write. (I never kept a journal/diary, too stupid in my opinion)

Pichu: *wobbles and falls* Chu Pi!


	7. Window Of Your Heart

Daisuke's Journal 

[Window Of Your Heart]

It's so easy for me to think that I know,

What's going on in your head

Only time will tell the meaning of love,

But by that time I'll be dead

So don't close your eyes it's all I've got,

To see the truth that's inside

The window of your heart,

And don't close your eyes it's all I've got,

To see the truth that's inside your heart

_~_**MIC**_; Window Of Your Heart_

Daisuke lay still, listening to the sounds of the rain outside, and the kids playing. He could hear people in the rooms and different floors. Hear as kids laughed, shouted, ran around and generally chatted. Inside he wondered how they could all be so happy on a day like this.

He could smell the usual disinfectant and spilled medicine that lingered in the first-aid room. Next to him, in the other bed, was a little girl who'd gotten a cold on the way to school. She was asleep with some foul smelling ointment the nurse had rubbed on her throat. Every now and then she would have a sniffing-attack, or cough.

There were six beds in all, making the room look more like a small hospital wing. Only three 'patients' were there now. The other, a young boy who would be leaving soon, was waiting for Yoshi-San to return with some aspirin for his headache. It wouldn't take her very long, seeing as even Daisuke knew exactly where it was.

Sometimes when he came in he would ask her for some aspirin, his headaches one of the few reasons he came into the nurses office. The other reason was that he would come in almost every lunchtime, simply to lie down and either sleep or just rest. Yoshi-San sometimes joked that he had an especially reserved bed waiting, every time he came in.

Today was no different then any other lunchtime. He came in, said hello to the friendly nurse sitting at her desk, ate what little lunch he'd managed to buy, and then lay down.

Sometimes, like right now, he wondered why his 'friends' never asked him where he disappeared at lunchtime. Oh sure, sometimes he went to the library to do some work, and other times he had soccer practise, but there were all those other times when he'd simply head straight for the nurses office, and wonder how come they didn't notice.

Like some friends they could have at least once asked him to sit with them, or maybe want to play a game or talk at lunchtime. Maybe they were looking for him right now, and would forget to ask after they'd gotten back to class… He didn't know. And at times like this, he didn't care.

He rolled over on his side, wincing at the pain from where he'd been slammed into the wall. He looked up and found the young boy sitting at the nurse's desk was looking right at him. He blinked before giving a gentle smile and a wave. The boy turned away; Daisuke couldn't tell if it was because of shyness or disgust. After all he didn't come in everyday asking for aspirin; Daisuke would have remembered. _He_ didn't come in to lie down and catch up on what sleep or rest he just couldn't get at home, for fear that his own father would come in and yell at him for something he didn't do.

With a gentle sigh Daisuke merely rubbed his face against the pillow, trying to get comfortable in the hopes that he would fall asleep soon, despite the coldness of the day and the thinness of the blanket he had wrapped around him.

Earlier that morning he'd gotten into trouble with Takeru and Miyako, though he still wondered what exactly he had done. Apparently it had something to do with him bursting into the classroom after bumping into Takeru who was also headed inside, and something about a science experiment. He couldn't see anything broken, and there was nothing to break. Miyako had out a notebook and Takeru was standing in the doorway looking mad. Not wanting to get into any more trouble Daisuke had quickly left to hide on the front steps until class started.

He was still feeling bad about having yelled at Chibimon last night, and had apologised again and again on the way to school, and into the computer room. He'd even tried making amends with a candy bar he'd gotten at the Inoue's store.

Chibimon had refused the token and had simply stared at Daisuke the entire time, not saying a word. Daisuke couldn't tell if he was mad or upset, or even just confused. Even now as he lay in the nurses room, he wondered of Chibimon and how he was doing.

He hoped the little in training wouldn't tell the other Digimon, or even their human friends. In his mind he didn't want them to know his secret, or secrets. He didn't want them to worry about him and try and help him. He didn't want them being hurt by him.

But he knew that leaving it for so long may get him and them hurt, and make it worse when it came down to it. Sometimes he wished he weren't so stubborn. Though… in his heart he wished they'd find out, wished that they would come and rescue him. Like in a story he'd written once, about his life.

He'd made himself, Aki, the main character and had written out, in quite disturbing detail, the events of his life. He'd made it sound as though in Odaiba he'd made friends with a few kids and they'd found out about him and 'rescued' him.

A happy ending…

Yeah right.

He'd written the 'ending' for the story only just as they'd moved to Odaiba. Before he'd met Hikari and the others. He'd posted it up on his website and refused to change any of it… though one day he just might have to.

Many people had e-mailed him about the story, entitled: Life. It was their favourite story, and many wrote asking if it was based off of his life and experiences. He, or course, had confirmed this and also the other major question of: Is that the true ending?.

Of course they already knew it wasn't. They were able to tell the difference between his deep, mournful words of truth, and the quickly sketched, cliché words of fantasy.

Daisuke heaved yet another sigh, as he listened to the school bell.

Lifting himself up and out of the small bed, he grabbed his things and walked slowly over to the Nurses desk to thank her for letting him stay.

In his mind he dreaded the end of the day, when he would be looking forward to one of two things, maybe even both. The Digiworld, and the resident school bullies searching for a target: him.

*

Daisuke packed away his things, hoping to make it home in time to beat his sister. Though he wasn't too sure if that was even possible. He stood to check his locker, in case he'd left something, and so didn't notice the little blue streak bound into his schoolbag. He closed his locker and his bag, before heading out of the school. He quickly avoided contact with his friends, in hopes that they would not pick on him for the way he had acted in the Digiworld today, or talk to him about something trivial and time-consuming. _'I have to get home, now!'_ He thought urgently. He didn't want to stay on the school grounds, not with this lump threatening in his throat.

He was greatful that Miyako had suggested leaving the Digimon at the school once more, because of hers and the others own reasons. Daisuke would usually wish that Chibimon could stay with him, feeling safer when the little creature was with him. But today he didn't want his friend to come with him, not with the sadness this strong. He didn't want Chibimon to see him break down and cry. He didn't want Chibimon to know his secret, of who he really was.

Chibimon had seen the sadness in Daisuke's eyes and had wanted to know what was bothering him, and so, despite the warnings and urges from his friends he'd hurried out of the cupboard and scurried at top speed (A Human's walking pace) till he'd found Daisuke.

He'd seen the distracted loneliness in his partner's eyes, which he'd seen in him every now and then in the Digital World. A while back, just before Takeru had mentioned meeting his sister, he had that same distant, sad, lonely gaze in his eyes. It hadn't helped that once again the others had once again misinterpreted him and had made him even more depressed.

He'd seen the fear and loneliness in his friend's eyes many times after that at his apartment, where it seemed to be worse. He was starting to worry about his friend, waking up in the middle of the night and avoiding his questions, and being yelled at by his father.

It was all very confusing, and worrying for the little Digimon. And it only made him even more determined to find out exactly what was wrong with his friend.

It took about half an hour, or less, before Chibimon suddenly found himself on the floor of Daisuke's room. He peered out and looked around. Being only about a foot tall the little thing could only see the floor stretched out before him, and only just barely see the tops of the furniture surrounding him.

He noticed someone – Daisuke – was on the bed. What he didn't notice was the faint shudder of his shoulders every so often, or Taichi's goggles haphazardly lying next to the bag. When he did, however, find the goggles, he realised he could hear a quiet sobbing sound coming from the bed.

"Daisuke?" The sobbing and whimpering continued, making Chibimon's heart stop. He tried again, this time a little louder. "Dai-Chan?" The little guy hadn't called Daisuke this before, and so caused the muffled sobbing and whimpering to quiet down.

Daisuke then leaned over the edge of the bed to look at the floor in confusion. Chibimon felt his heart break and his breath leave him. Daisuke's face was streaked with tears and anguish making him look weak, and lonelier than anything Chibimon had ever seen, in all of his forms. Daisuke's expression turned to surprise.

"Chibimon? What…?" He then seemed to realise the state he was in and so quickly jerked back, rolling over so as to hide his face from his friend. Too late.

Chibimon bounded onto the bed and onto Daisuke's side, and over onto the bedspread in front of him before he sat right in Daisuke's face.

"What'sh wrong? Why are you crying?" The Digimon asked softly. The sad, fear-filled eyes, which looked up at him, broke the little guys heart once more. Daisuke tried to roll away again but Chibimon clung onto his jacket collar. Daisuke sat up and Chibimon let go, falling into his lap. "What'sh wrong?" He repeated.

Daisuke looked down at him and slowly rubbed the tears out of his one eye, stopped, and then gave up, letting his hands lay at his sides. This time he couldn't simply explain the tears as water from the bathroom where he'd cried last time, or pretend he wasn't crying.

"Nothing's wrong."

"Yesh their ish, you're crying!"

"I know."

"Why?"

"Because I… I sometimes cry because… it hurts…"

"What hurtsh?"

"Inside," Daisuke covered his chest with one hand. "Inside of me there's a hole and it hurts when sometimes… when people make fun of me or… get angry with me for certain reasons."

"A hole?" Daisuke nodded. "Where did the hole come from?" He shrugged.

"I've always had it." Then, suddenly, there was a great fear in his eyes. "Please, promise me something. Please, Chibimon?"

"What?"

"Don't tell the others. Don't tell anyone, okay?"

"How come?"

"I don't want them to hurt me again, I don't want anyone to get hurt. If you tell them… they… they won't understand."

"Sappari wakarana." Daisuke smiled sadly. [I don't understand (It all)]

"I know. Onegai. Promise me?" [Please]

"Yakusoku, Dai-Chan." [I promise] The youth picked up his Digimon and hugged him gently.

"Domo Arigatou. I'm sorry I scared you." [Thank you]

"Itsh Okei. You can cry if you need to." [Okei: This is how they spell Okay, in Japanese]

*

It was quite a night in which Daisuke showed Chibimon some of his sketches, paintings and drawings. Chibimon called them incredible and when he heard that Daisuke could play music had begged him over and over till the youth had played a short sonnet on his tin flute.

Later Daisuke was found on his computer, chatting to someone on his instant messenger. A while back he had collected the other Digidestined's e-mail's (Most of them without their knowledge) and had added them onto his contacts list. The sad part was that they were the only people on that list.

He was talking to Koushiro right now, who for some reason had gotten into his head that he was talking to Iori and not Daisuke. Though he had only mentioned it once and didn't seem to notice the occasional 'LOL' during that particular conversation.

They were talking about the new Digivices and how they worked. Daisuke had been really interested to find out how Koushiro had figured all this out, and any theories he had on the strange devices. He himself had a few theories and so the duo spent quite a few hours on the computer, chatting together.

Chibimon lay in Daisuke's lap, reading his Journal so far. He didn't seem very pleased with what he was reading, but every now and then he would smile.

Daisuke looked down after logging off, seeing as Koushiro's mother had peered in to tell him to go to bed. He watched as the little blue in training was flipping through the blank pages of his journal, as if seeking out some hidden entry. All he did find, however, were a few doodles and short notes in the back of the Journal. Most were ideas for lyrics, poems or pictures.

"Hey," Chibimon looked up at his friend. "Whatcha looking for?" The little creature seemed confused. Obviously he wasn't used to hearing Daisuke's voice so soft and tired. Though he had heard this 'voice' before it was different now he knew the story behind the mask.

"Nothin'. Did you really write all of that?"

"Who else would?"

"…I dunno. Is it true?"

"Yeah. 'M afraid so." Daisuke took the Journal away from his friend and propped it on the desk, before opening it to the last page and writing down a quick note and then shoving everything in his desk drawers.

A few minutes later and Daisuke was lying awake in his bed, watching his Digimon friend sleeping peacefully. And even then it wasn't long before he himself was asleep and slipping into a dark void of dreams and illusion.

*

Daisuke sat up quickly, hysterical sobs wracking his small frame. He shivered despite the warmth of the room, and covered his face with his hands, crying freely, though softly. His whimpering sobs woke up the little blue and White Digimon on the pillow beside him. The little creature took one look at his friend and partner before he was instantly in his lap, bouncing slightly.

"Dai-Chan! Dai-Chan!" The little creature cried, worried for his friend. Daisuke lowered his hands and choked on the sobs as he tried to peer through his tears at the little Digimon. He'd forgotten the little guy was there.

"Onegai, Chibimon… Gomen Nasai, Gomen! Please forgive me!" The little thing could only nod, shocked. He then scooped the little thing into his arms and held him gently, yet firmly. Still crying he tried to fight away the whimpered sobs, and choking of the tears.

"Dai-Chan?" The little thing let him hold it, but still he watched as his friend cried, and he didn't know why. "Doshita no? Did you have a bad dream?" [What's wrong?]

"H… hai…" Daisuke gasped slightly, nodding his head. "A bad… dream, Chibi… Gomen."

"What was it?"

"Memory… Akumu… what's the difference?" [Nightmare] Daisuke was no longer sobbing hysterically, though he gave a quite whimper as his grip loosened from around the Digimon. "I was remembering before I got you. I was… dreaming… of what could… have been." Chibimon cocked his head.

"Tell me." Daisuke stared down at the pleading crimson eyes, his own melted chocolate eyes still blurred by tears and faint pain. He couldn't help but smile. _'The worst thing I can do is lie to him._'

"Before I met you, the day before school started, I was in the bathroom. Do you know what Suicide is, Chibi?" The blue in training seemed thoughtful for a second. He had read this in Daisuke's Journal, but he hadn't fully understood it, being too interested in the information hidden in the words, then the actual words themselves.

"It means to kill yourself." Suddenly his eyes widened, and he started nuzzling against Daisuke's stomach as he murmured over and over. "Iie, Dai-Chan! No! No!" [No]

"Hai. I had swallowed a couple of pills and slit my wrists. But Jun came home early. She made me throw up the pills, and wrapped the towels around my wrists. She left me to clean up my mess and left to go to her room." Chibimon looked up at him, his own eyes watery.

The two sat in silence, often broken by Daisuke's rugged breath. Chibimon tried to climb up onto his friends shoulder to comfort him. Daisuke eventually pushed him up.

"Its ironic how something like me is only useful in another world." He whispered bitterly. Chibimon nuzzled up against his neck and cheek, causing Daisuke to lean his head slightly.

"Please stop crying." Chibimon begged quietly. "I don't like seeing you sad, or hurt."

"Your probably the only one." Chibimon winced. "But it doesn't matter now. Because now I at least have some people who I can call 'Tomodachi', and even hang out with. Makes me feel… somewhat normal." [Friend] He couldn't help but smile softly at the thought. "It's… nice." He then heaved a sigh.

The little guy looked much happier. Though Daisuke had not cheered up.

"So why were you crying?"

"Because… I have to deal with something completely new and just as painful as before. And all I could think about… was how much easier it would have been if I'd simply ignored Jun…" Chibimon nuzzled against him again.

"Please don't say that! Never say that! I'd die if you even thought about doing that again!"

"I know…"

"Then don't!" Again the silence, and before Chibimon knew it, Daisuke was looking at him with the most serious, most trusting look he'd ever seen in his life.

"Please, promise me something."

"What?"

"Please… keep me alive." Chibimon's jaw dropped, his mouth moved, but no sound came out. "I want you to promise me that you'll keep me alive. Stop me from dying, please Chibi?" The Digimon nodded, slowly.

"Of course Dai-Chan. I don't want you to go." Daisuke smiled and hugged the little Digimon close.

"Arigatou. I love you my friend."

"Aishiteru yo matta, Dai-Chan." [I love you as well (too)]

Can you imagine? Never having felt love of any kind, through your entire life? Never knowing true happiness, and having to fake it instead? And even never been held, not once? Can you imagine the pain and sadness, the terrible, cold emptiness inside? Daisuke felt these things, felt the cold, dark emptiness, from being loveless and declined from even the faint warmth of bodily contact.

The deep sadness and fear he kept inside through his whole life added to the hatred he refused to show, to anyone. The reason he was reckless and would cling onto anyone who showed him warmth was because of this darkness inside, this pain.

He was lost, inside his own head, where it had been beaten into him that he was not allowed to feel these things, and should have never even been born. It is a mixture of terror and anguish, which no living being should ever have to go through, much less base their life upon.

A/N: Next chapter we meet Ken-Chan! Wai~!


	8. Secrets That Surround Me

Daisuke's Journal 

[Secrets That Surround Me]

Honesty becomes me

(There's nothing left to loose)

The secrets that did run me

(In your presence are defused)

Pride has no position

(As riches have no worth)

The fame that once did cover me

(Has been sentenced to this earth)

Has been sentenced to this earth

**~ DC Talk**; In The Light

Daisuke glared down at his Soccer Uniform, muttering curses in German as he scratched at the back of his neck, and shoulder blades. The thing was too small, second-hand and it itched to high heaven.

_'Nande? Did the last person who wore this dose it in turpentine?'_ [(Rude) What?]

Even beside's these thoughts he was looking forward to that afternoon. His team was up against Tamachi in the park soccer field. The others were going to be there to cheer him on. Well okay the girls and Taichi wanted to see Ken in action, and Takeru and Iori were almost literally dragged along by his whining and Taichi's prompting.

Of course maybe they'd come along out of guilt. He'd had many soccer practises and a few games, and only Taichi and Hikari had come along. Sometimes Miyako had come but only to poke fun at him and sit with Hikari. Though he was starting to think that they only came along because he was part of their team and was also therefore a 'friend'.

Though he didn't mind much, because he'd never had anyone cheering him on at anything before. And Iori had mainly come along to keep Miyako from squishing poor Poromon.

Grabbing a small backpack and grabbing Chibimon he hurried out of his room.

"Maybe I should make a bet that Tamachi win this game, seeing as you're their 'star player' ever since _he_ left for high school." With a faint groan Daisuke hugged Chibimon a little tighter and spun to walk backwards so he was facing his mother. She didn't like Taichi one bit, and she liked Hikari even less.

"Well? I suppose you think your going to win?" _'Against Tamachi??'_

"Iie Kaasan."

"Well then. Why not? I have nothing better to do today anyway." She then glared at him as he found himself against the wall beside the door, and quickly bent to put on his shoes. His mother sighed. "At this rate the team will probably forfeit."

He quickly hurried out, knowing his mother was delaying him on purpose, and he really didn't want to hear another one of her 'You shouldn't hang around those kind of people' speeches. The one reason she didn't like his friend was because they were _his_ and that he'd made them at _school_.

"Where are your goggles?" Chibimon asked.

"In my room. I don't want to break them when I play."

"Does this have anything to do with your tackling?"

"Oh ha, ha very funny." Though it was true, his tackling was rather… ailing…

+ Journal Entry, Go +

When we played against Tamachi today I scored a goal in the first half. They were all pretty good players. Of course, our little group had been looking forward to seeing Ken in action, but I wasn't all that disappointed.

I heard Iori telling Miyako off later for having said that she had better things to do then come along and watch me play. The only reason she'd come was to see Ken. I'm feeling the love…

Taichi seemed somewhat cynical of me for the most part. You'd think he was mad at me for something. Oh kuso! [Damn] What if he is? I really hope he isn't…

Anyway, Ken did show for the last half. And let me tell you, he is _great_. The only way I was able to stop him making a perfect 10 on the scoreboard was to tackle him. Unfortunately I'm not very good at this move and so I kind of cut into his leg with my shoe. (Ya, eew…)

Before the second half I tried to at least make friends with Ken. He stared right at the others before saying they were nice friends. I do so hope he was joking. I mean, Taichi out and yelled that if I didn't beat Ken that they wouldn't think any less of me. How could they? They don't think anything much of me to begin with. Of course next thing I knew Ken was behind me and I could only just barely see the ball. Chikusoo. [Shit]

After the game I kicked myself a few times before I managed to get over to the other team to apologise to Ken for cutting his leg. Taichi wasn't helping again by making fun of Ken when he was on the ground. I swear I could kick him sometimes… oi, how does Hikari put up with him?

Ken was actually a really good sport about the whole thing, though I think he was doing it to hide the fact that he wanted to punch me for the tackle.

I was pretty happy afterwards, mostly for the fact that Ken and I shook hands instead of got into an all-out brawl. Again Taichi was putting me down, Miyako was complaining I didn't get Ken's autograph (and just why would I want to in the first place anyway?) and Hikari was just a little shocked that I wasn't poking fun at the Tamachi team. While Iori tried to stop Miyako yelling at me, Takeru actually complimented me. I must admit; this was one of my better days… at least that's what I thought.

Anyway, after I came home and got changed (and got made fun of by Jun because mom won her bet against a few other mothers of our team) I went with Chibimon to the school to go to the Digiworld with the others.

While Miyako was asking me to shake her hand – for reason's unknown unless Ken unintentionally gave me the flu by shaking my hand and she wanted to share – Iori found a control spire in an area, which seemed to be recently conquered. And the surrounding areas were all clear.

Due to the unrealistic approach of the Kaiser's, we decided to check it out. Though somehow I got the feeling he was there waiting for us; the whole thing just screamed 'trap', and not just because it was called The Forbidden Valley of No Return.

While there the others all disappeared into the sand, and the Kaiser showed up. He had them all tied up and hanging from a stone archway. The Kaiser was standing on a cliff beside the bridge, and, of course, was looking to be enjoying himself, again.

~*^*^*~

Deltamon roared loudly, taking his time in eyeing the four humans and their Digimon who hung from the arc-like rock.
    
    "If you want mercy, you must beg for it." Daisuke and Veemon stared up at the Digital Kaiser. Both minds filled with panic and fear. Fear of loosing their friends; Panic at being in the presence of the Kaiser. Both gaped up at him at this order.
    
    "Huh?" Both asked, though in Daisuke's mind everything was spinning faster and faster. Soon he may just collapse from dizziness and fear.
    
    "You heard me, you pathetic loser! Now on your knees and beg!" _'Sumi masen?!_ [Excuse me] _"Pathetic loser?" Come on! Even I can make threats and insults worse then that!'_
    
    But Daisuke did as he was told. His mind processing only the now – and yet also – everything at once.
    
    "Daisuke don't!" Veemon told him as he watched his partner kneel in the sand, lowering his head so as not to look at the malicious glee, which flashed over the Kaiser's features.
    
    "Please Master, spare my friends." The Kaiser quoted.
    
    "Please Master," Daisuke repeated. "Spare my friends." _'My friends… I must do this for my friend's… tomodachi_ [Friend]_…'_ He peered at Veemon through the side of his arms and eye. The little blue Digimon was looking at him in horror and pity. He looked away.
    
    "Please Master, spare my worthless friends." The Kaiser all but laughed, as he stood on the hilltop revelling in his half-victory.
    
    "Please Master," Daisuke tried to hold back tears. "Spare my worthless friends."
    
    _'You Bakayarou! Temee! Temee!'_ [A$$hole, (lit.) You F*ck/F*ck you] His mind screamed words he knew he should not know. _'I'll get you for this! I am the worthless friend; I should not have to beg you for anything! You bakana konoyarou! Kuso chikusoo!'_ [Stupid Jerk (Bastard/A$$hole), Damn shit]
    
    The Kaiser gave a short laugh from his position above the two. He pointed down at them, grinning ferally.
    
    "That's excellent! Now, Veemon! Restrain him...I command you!" Veemon looked even more shocked, looking up instantly to glare at the Kaiser furiously.
    
    "Never!" Obey the Kaiser, and hold Daisuke back? Never in this life!
    
    "Do what he says." Daisuke whispered frantically to his Digimon.
    
    "Dai-Ch… suke?" Veemon gasped, correcting himself absently, not wanting his partner to know just how worried he was about him.
    
    "Do it for the others. If it'll save our friends, then obey the Kaiser." And so with that Veemon, with great strength of heart, placed his foot on his friend's head. He did this so that Daisuke would have a headache, and so would find it harder to pay attention. He wanted to make it less painful, emotionally, as possible. The Kaiser laughed horridly, sadistically.
    
    "Seeing you squirm is so delicious. You are so entertaining; maybe I should take pity on you."
    
    "Yeah?" Daisuke asked hopefully, looking up, which caused Veemon to remove his foot.
    
    "As you can see, Deltamon has only three mouths. But there are four children. Therefore, you may have one. Sadly, I cannot spare them all. Choose who will be spared." _'Nande Kuso?!'_ [What the hell]
    
    Daisuke couldn't help but stare. Was this guy being serious? No life, NONE, was worth another, much less three others. Everyone knew that! Or at least, that's what Daisuke had thought.
    
    "So _I_ have to choose? I can't do it! How do I pick one over the other?" How indeed?
    
    "This decision must be done delicately. Delicately. You have until the sand's run out to choose. And it isn't long, pretty boy. It isn't long." _'You are such a freak! Temee!'_ [F*ck you]
    
    Daisuke had to listen to his friends, had to listen to the Kaiser, had to listen to the racing of his heart and the sound of absolute fear and anguish, which flooded the valley.
    
    "Don't worry about me, Davis! Save one of the others!" Hikari called down to her friend.
    
    "Get out of here, Davis! Go ahead, save yourself!" Takeru looked so sure about what he was saying. It was actually quite hurtful in a sort of way. But even then he wouldn't give up his friendship with the Gilligan Doppelganger for anything.
    
    "Oh, sure...make _me_ look bad! Fine then, _don't_ save me!" Miyako, dear Miya-Chan. She, though loudmouthed and always in her 'Dog-eat-dog' mind frame, was one of the few girls he liked to hang out with.
    
    "Whatever you decide to do, Davis, we trust you! So think of something!" And of course the little Iori. Serious, trusting and reliable to a fault. How could he possibly give up his little friend?
    
    "I...I...uh, I just can't do it! How am I supposed to choose only one of my friends?" He cried aloud.
    
    "Like sands in the hourglass, so are your friends' lives." _'Oh for the love of- I am going to come up there, and I am going to rip your Kami o kuso_ [Goddamn] _throat out!'_ (A/N: I figured that Japanese out all by myself ^_^)
    
    "I just...I...I can't do it!" What was wrong with him? Why when most of the times he'd been around his friends, only now he couldn't see a single thing wrong with them. His mind screamed that he should save them. Screamed that one alive was not enough, and all dead was too much!
    
    "Will you throw _all_ their lives away? Is that what you call friendship?" His thoughts given life Daisuke couldn't help but gasp and find himself digging into his thoughts, searching and praying…

'Is this love? Love for my friends, love for the Digimon? Could I truly feel such things? Love for their happiness. Love for an enemy I know is hiding; hiding himself behind his mask, alone and afraid. Everyone is afraid. Everyone hides themselves inside in the hopes that the deeper they go the harder it is for them to be hurt by others. Scared and alone is the path we take. One more step is one more break. We can look into each other's souls; feel each other's strengths and passions. But we cannot see what the other wants us to. Deep down in the crevasses of our minds…

_Can't he see that I simply cannot make this decision? I cannot sacrifice, nay, betray my friends! They're all my friends! Hikari! Takeru! Iori! Miyako! Watashi no Tomodachi…!'_ [My friends]

"Ahh!" He cried out, wishing the heavens to strike him down and end this madness.

~*^*^*~

The Kaiser forced me to beg him for my friend's lives, before he would spare just the one of them. Now lets back up to just that morning when I was at the soccer game, listening to my friends who were both cheering me on and making fun of me, and putting me down all in the same hour.

How was I supposed to pick which one of my friends would live while the rest died? How could I save one person while three died? No life was worth another, and I certainly couldn't pick favourites at a time like this, not that I was able to before.

I hated the Kaiser then. I dunno how but someway I think it seemed to click in me then that he was defiantly not a nice person. I forgot my vow to find the person behind that mask and instead felt like I wanted to throw him off of that cliff.

I could never, not through any part of my life, make any decision beyond whether I should get up in the morning. With no one to help me – no offence to Veemon – I was forced to make the only decision I could. I would give my life for all of my friends.

I did this to 1) buy some time while Deltamon came towards me. 2) Use this as an advantage to battle. In my mind I though of a thousand different scenarios in which, I could at least drag the Kaiser down with me. I was going to get Veemon to Digivolve, and I was going to go after the Kaiser myself. Or I could dodge the three mouths of the Deltamon, and hope that the Kaiser didn't have any other Digimon slaves anywhere around.

At this thought, however, the Deltamon suddenly tripped as though caught in a hole. It was Digmon! The children and Digimon hanging from the bridge were Bakemon. I hate Bakemon…

Four years ago we were on our way to where Nana lived in Kyoto, since she was sick. The Bakemon had threatened to take Jun away while we were in the station, and I had no idea how to beat them.

I was really mad now. While the Kaiser was yelling at the Bakemon and Wormmon, I had Veemon armour Digivolve. At least one of my plans came through. I managed to fly up the slopped cliff-face and tackle the Kaiser over the edge. I still can't believe he smiled the whole way down, as if the stones and dirt digging into his back amused him. I don't know whether he was just sick, or insane.

We finally defeated Deltamon and destroyed the Control Spire. The Kaiser was ranting something about me having beaten him twice in the same day. So obviously I thought of Ken on the soccer field, and how he looked like he wanted to punch me instead of shake hands.

I guessed right. And not just because of the cut on his leg. (Re-opened by the tumble down the cliff)

The Dejitaru [Digital] Kaiser was Ichijouji Ken all along. I should have realised this when I noticed the Kaiser's hair was the same shade as Ken's. Everyone's hair colour and style is as unique as their eyes and personality. I should have paid more attention to detail… funny I normally tell myself that when colouring pictures on my computer…

Of course my brain went into lockdown and the last thing I can really remember clearly was when Ken/Kaiser jumped off the ground onto the back of one of his Airdramon; like a bird of prey flying up. For the rest of the time up till I got to my room is a complete blur…

Everything seems to have cleared up a bit, and for some reason I feel light-headed and more confused then I've ever felt. And yet everything seems to make sense at the same time…

I wasn't paying any attention to the others, but Chibimon tells me that they all seemed pretty stunned and that we were to meet tomorrow morning.

Ken had been someone who amazed me and made me believe that all this that I was doing might have been worth something. That being forced to learn all of this and do things I didn't want to, could work to my advantage some day. But he himself ended up as the kind of person you do not look up to.

I guess even people who seem high up and beyond your reach can have the same disadvantages, and weaknesses as you yourself. Though we seem as two completely different people, and I'm sure I might kick myself for this afterwards: we, the Kaiser/Ken and I are very much alike.

I have to go feed Chibimon know before he thinks I've lost hold of reality.

~ M. A. D / ~Red*Dragon~ / |~AkaiDra~|

+ End Journal Entry +

Daisuke trudged down the rain-washed street, absently checking his watch for the time in which his mother would be home from work. His father would be home later and his sister was out with friends all night. It was 10:30 now, and the rain had come down just after he'd gotten home. (A/N: I hate analogue clocks…)

'Sad weather for sad thoughts, as though the heavens can feel pain and hopelessness, only to add to it in their own way…'

His mind oh-so-slowly slipped from one thought to another. In his mind he saw the smiling face of Ichijouji Ken, after their game together. Then suddenly it transformed to the Kaiser, also grinning though evilly, as he held his glasses in his hand.

The images in his head blurred, and yet focussed. Everything was so clear, at yet so very far away, as if he himself had not experienced this days events, and instead he had watched them on a movie or show. And yet, at the same time, though the situations of the past were far away, it felt in his heart as if he were re-experiencing them all over again.

'This is hurt. This is despair, and yet desire. This is longing, for the wounds unhealing, for this confusion to end. My desire to end a war that should not have been, because despair prevails over us. Harmful words, and blows of pain; this hurt is strong, within our minds.'

The deeper puddles splashed over his shoes and socks, and he held his jacket tighter around himself to help ignore the cold wet seeping through his pants cuffs. He had gotten changed earlier in the hopes of wondering around without being disturbed.

He, of course, had been wrong in this assumption.

"Davis?" _'Chikusoo!'_ [Shit] "Is that you?"

"Uh… no?" He tried, turning to see a familiar face out of the corner of his eye. Yagami Taichi, oh how sad his timing was. The older brunette came up to the burgundy haired youth and looked down at him, in confusion and interest.

"Doshite no desu ka?" [What's wrong?] 

"N… nothing." Daisuke pulled the jacket around him tighter as the older boy stepped up to him.

"Were you worrying about Ken?" _'Oh… joy…'_

"Hai."

"Yeah. Hikari just told me. This makes things a lot more difficult, doesn't it?"

"Hai." _'How am I supposed to help Ken if the others want to storm over and beat him in this world?'_

"Who would have thought one day we'd be battling Humans?" He chuckled.

"Glad you think its funny." Daisuke inadvertently grumbled aloud. Taichi instantly stopped and looked at the younger boy with a soft gaze.

"Hai, gomen. I should probably be on my way home now."

"Hai." But Taichi did not move.

"You know, you're not your usual perky self tonight." He stated obviously. _'Honto?'_ [(Sarcastic) Really]

"Hai."

"Fine. You don't have to tell me about it if you don't like, but let me warn you," Taichi bent down slightly to be eye-to-eye with the younger leader. "Hiding everything inside is a one-way road to self-destruction." With that he left, leaving Daisuke to gape after him.

_'I don't give Taichi enough credit,'_ He thought, startled. _'He's probably the most observant person I know!'_

A/N: Now before you ask; the title of the chapter is not part of the song… mostly. See I kept hearing 'Secrets that did run me' as 'Secrets that surround me'. This is one of my favourite DC Talk songs because I learned a dance to it! Fun!

Update Note (5/03): It has come to my attention that people think that I may be writing Shounen-ai or some other coupling. Please note that this is sort of a prologue to some other stories of mine (Which won't be out for a _long_ time) and everything mentioned in here is friendship only. But if you want to think of is as a coupling, suit yourself.

[Blah] = Jap. Translation


	9. Roku

Daisuke's Journal 

[Roku]

Fingers flew across keys at a strong pace, which at one time would be similar to the sound of an old typewriter. One might even be awaiting the bell-ring, signalling the time to realign the paper.

||Attempting to Process…||

||… … …||

||System Failure||

'I hate this thing…' 

||Reboot: Y/N?||

||Reboot: YES||

'Really I do…' 

The screen was blank now, though the sounds of the machine could still be heard. Code flashed across the screen, and in blues, blacks and whites, it started up once more.

'This happens every time…' 

Daisuke cleaned up his desk, looking through the program CD's he'd just bought. Two were obviously pirated. (Warning: May contain data. Not to be used in water) one was just cheap, and the last one was just a pain to install.

'Can't I just ask for a single sound card that doesn't clock out after two weeks?' 

It seemed it was time to start skipping lunch again…

'Who designed this? A Goldfish on Weed?' 

He simply stared at the pirated Flash program, in the hopes that it would either spontaneously combust, or – heaven forbid – actually work!

'New solution: Install Linux!' 

The computer was running once more, oblivious to its owner's disapproval. A desktop of red and orange hues was the main attraction, followed by the smiley-face, formed out of desktop icons.

Heaving a sigh, Daisuke tried again. He swapped the disks and popped in a hard disk, hoping at least one thing would work.

||Processing…||

||Installing 18772.EXE, ModWav.ZIP||

||… … …||

||Installation Halted||

'Bloody… Murder… Death!' 

||Checking Main Drive for Requested Data||

||Please Wait…||

_'Urge to kill… rising…'_

Deciding against physical abuse, Daisuke searched through his drawer before pulling out his Journal.__

Might as well vent his frustrations on something other then the Cyber Kaijuu [Monster]. At least this he could replace… Sort of…

+ Journal Entry, Roku +

I knew it. I knew it the second I'd managed to understand that Digimon did not usually come in human form. The others, my friends, when they found out who our 'enemy' was in our world, would go out and… well considering both my own imagination and the fact that the oldest of us was 12… something not at all very pleasant.

But despite that, I just have to say that I hate whenever I know about something in all its excruciating detail long before it even happens. Both imagination and experience – I'm beginning to think – were not really, meant to be used in unison.

Anyway, the point I'll probably get to, is that the next day we all got together, talked about yesterday and then went off to fight Ken in our world. I'm not too sure calling it 'Ours' or even 'Earth' is right anymore, but for traditions sake I'll just carry it on.

Anyway, long story short, Ken had run away to the Dejitarukai [Digital World], presumedly intent on staying there, and we, being the single-minded suicidal morons we are, decided to go in after him. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends and I know they're all pretty clever in their own way, but even the most pea-brained Digimon knew that the Kaiser was fairly pissed off at the moment (which would probably last a few weeks) and that even the next dimension was too close for comfort.

But _no_, we are the Dejitaru Ummei [Digital Destiny]; we _have_ to go out of our way to prove our enemy right by playing like ill-timed chess pieces right into his trap.

Here's the big picture – which means everything outside of my head – Ken, the Kaiser, has decided to relocate himself into another world, which he has been working quite strategically at overpowering like every good dictator should (Divide and conquer, and all the rest of it). He has the greatest strength in covered area and power in Digimon slaves, and to boost that he has a technology set up, probably tapping into the very data of the Digital World itself, which I'm sure Koushiro would love to get a good look at.

The fun part is this: we travelled to a volcanic area (Oh, _niiice_) were we found the Kaiser waiting for us. With additional side players such as Meramon, Airdramon and… our own friend Greymon, captured and ringed. Now the even funnier part: Ken tried to get Greymon to Digivolve with his dark Digivice. As of course I have learned from this; when trying to force a Digimon to Digivolve, most of the time you get slight… glitches… side effects; And large ones too.

This one came in a size giant, adorned with a 'Dark Shot attack' and composed of the impossibly mobile skeletal structure from hell. Its name was Skullgreymon.

It defeated our Armour Digimon, the Kaisers Dark Tyrannomon, and destroyed the control spire, before reverting back to Agumon, who was in turn picked up by an Airdramon and an annoyingly smug Kaiser.

Then the next day we did it _again_! Dear Kami have pity on my soul…

This time, for comedic relief more then strategy, Taichi came along with us, and Miyako stayed behind. I think she was a little out-of-sorts with the new series of events. I know I was.

Here's some fun: we were following what we thought was a trail of some sorts, when we stumbled upon a Woodmon (who I personally thought suited the name 'Stumpmon') who, after he was freed from the ring when we kinda dropped a control spire on him, pointed us in the general direction of Ken's base.

We were in a sort of 'Railway town' when Agumon showed up in a train engine. Somehow he'd escaped and we seemed to have lucked out and were on our way home. (And various other places we are half-forced to call 'home' for lack of an alternative)

Of course, nothing is easy, or simple, or even lucky. I have this theory that if something seems to happen unexpectedly, for the better, something much worse is just waiting around the corner grinning manically and holding a detonation button. (Sometimes I wish that were me… Boom!)

The Kaiser showed up. No applause, no sudden surprised gasp or sigh of 'Oh, it's you'. In fact, the way we'd reacted I'd have sworn we'd known he was the there the whole time, and were just waiting for him to speak up so we could go ahead with half-ignoring him some more.

Anyway, his 'friends' this time was, of course, Airdramon and Tyrannomon. One day I'd like to find out just how many large champion Digimon there are in the Digiworld, just so I can shove it in Ken's face and say: 'You missed a spot'. No offence to him of course…

We fought back, and – much to our horror, or, more specifically, anyone who doesn't understand the concept of irony – he pulled out a Dark Ring. Well, okay, it was more of a couple of Dark Rings fused together and made into a spiral. Okay, a Dark Spiral… happy?!

Anyway, this was (predictably) more powerful then your average Dark Ring, and he – not surprisingly – threw his new toy at Agumon.

This Digivolution was not as horrific as the last, but gave about the same impact as being pushed off a cliff. (Which was an improvement from last time, which was like dropping in a vat of lava) Agumon evolved to his true ultimate form of Metalgreymon. (Or, more precisely, his ultimate, viral form)

At the time, I was just trying to keep Taichi from becoming flambé by trying to get through to Agumon, which of course is akin to stopping a boulder careening downhill.

Kaiser 2, Digidestined 0. Or something to that extent. I think he's the only one keeping a faint score, when it all comes down to it. On the bright side, the total amount puts us in favour!

Right… what was I saying? Oh yeah.

Ken rode off on Metalgreymon, who seemed to find enjoyment in destroying random rock formations along the way. And then the Saint brigade showed up. I'm being nice…

Miyako and Yamato came along in a pair of wind-propelled train-cars. Fun fact: some people believe that to change ones mind, or get a point through their skull, one must severely hurt that person preferably around the head area. Translation: Yamato punched Taichi to stop him blaming himself about Agumon getting caught. Come on, I'm the jinxed one remember. Whoops, better not say things like that too loudly, they might decide to hit me next. No offence, but those two scare me… a lot!

And so, with the agreement to fight against Agumon, for his own good, we headed off down the tracks.

A little while later, Tentomon bumped into us. At that time Iori received E-mail from Koushiro. He said that Ken & Metalgreymon had been seen south of our present position, so off we went, after Yamato sent Tentomon to find Garurumon, that is.

I was a little weary about going into another confrontation against our friend. The others all seemed so confident about going into a fight against their friend, while I myself have hardly ever had friends, and so now that I d have them, I am rather… protective of them.

Takashi-kun wasn't helping, saying I was afraid. Though I didn't make matters any better shooting off at him like that. Takeru has been in the Digiworld longer then any other Digidestined. He was there the first time they came; he was there when they beat Apocolymon. And he's here now. It makes me wonder how come I was chosen as the leader for this second team instead of him.

Of course the two of us ended up fighting, with the girls trying to break us apart, and Iori staying as far away from us as possible. He's a smart kid, I'll give him that much. But just then, the strangest thing happened.

Taichi told the girls to let us fight. He said that he and Yamato had fought a lot the first trip to Digiworld, and that it had helped strengthen their friendship. Me? I wondered wether or not he'd been out in the sun too long. I mean, really. How could fighting be cause for grounds of friendship?

Then afterwards I read something. 'You can never truly know anyone, until you fight them.' Because you see, when you fight someone you instantly learn their strengths and weakness', as well as their skill and technique. At least, that's how it is in wars and proper battles, where as for 11 year olds, I guess it just proves to the both of us that when it comes down to it we can be pretty good opponents.

But enough of that…

It was about then that Iori had discovered a Digimental with his Digivice. We stopped the cars and got out to find a cliff face, with the crest of friendship carved into it. Below the emblem was the (dug up) Digimental of Friendship. I was beginning to get annoyed with certain… conveniences. The Digimental kind of reminded me of a jandal (Flip-flop, whatever…) with a bent nail in the toe. Gothic…

Yamato suggested it might be for the one with the most friends, to which I had countered (In the hopes that no one heard me) that it might have been for the one with the least friends… like me. Much to my dismay, everyone found my idea amusing. Well… that hurt…

Everyone then tried to lift it up. Despite their efforts, and quite a few choice words, none were able to lift the Digimental. It was now my turn. Through this little… procedure, I was feeling somewhat ill. All my life I had learned that true friends were those who accepted you for who you truly were, and helped you become the person you were going to be.

I had lied to them. Those around me may have thought they knew me, but did not. I wasn't showing myself as a friend; because I had been hurt once too often to fully accept that they were being honest. In my mind I could not, and probably should not, lift the Digimental of Friendship.

That symbol, no matter how small or insignificant compared to the more spiritual meaning, was like a sign for me. A sign, which told me, that I was lost. I was not worthy, nor did I deserve what I had or was given. It hurt… a lot more then when the others had laughed earlier.

I could understand were they were coming from. I could watch them and see who they were, mask or no. But when it came to changing myself, changing who I was so that I could be myself around others… was too hard. How could I even stand next to them, or that symbol, without bowing my head in shame and remorse for what I was and had done?

I started to say as such, but kind of, sort of, got sidetracked. My mouth shot off again and I found myself giving a simplified, unlawful description of equilibrium. Through my babbling Taichi seemed to be trying to understand something… or so I gathered by his agreement with me. So I tried again, only this time I caught Yamato's expression.

Those two are like polers or something. A poler is basically a person who is the exact opposite of another person. And yet these people are good friends, and often seemed to share similar views on many things. One will act out the others thoughts, while the other will seem to understand what the other wants without any verbal communication. Or at least that's what I gathered when Yamato snapped at me for babbling and the both of them shoved me in the hole. And here I thought Taichi was actually trying to listen… oi… They really didn't have to yell…

Anyway, despite my shaking hands, the lump in my throat, and feeling like I was either going to throw up or pass out, I grasped the device and pulled. Nothing. Once more. Nada.

I would have breathed a sigh of relief, except I was too busy worrying. If this Digimental was not meant for either of us, then whom could it belong to? Getting back onto my train of thought from earlier, perhaps it was for one of us, we just needed to clear our minds on the true meaning of the symbol… wasn't that what I was fretting over earlier. Yes you know where this is going, and yes you're right. But hold up while I take a detour back to scripted events.

Just as I was acting the goof once more (I think… I really wasn't paying that much attention to my automatic reactions right then) there was this awful sound from the sky. It sounded like buzzing. Now I for one hate bees… terrified of them, in fact. (Don't even get me started on wasps!) So when a large Black and yellow insect Digimon appeared outta nowhere and began attacking us I instantly froze in terror. To further my worry his attack is called 'Deadly Sting'. Of course I calmed down a little hearing that his name was Flymon, and not Bee-mon or something like that.

I managed to get my brain back in time to get Veemon to armour Digivolve to Flamdramon. Flymon dodged the attack, which seemed to catch the attention of the others, because Miyako quickly jumped into action getting Hawkmon to evolve to Halsemon. And then his attack missed…

Just then Flymon's buzzing got all the louder, causing us to cover our ears. I mean really, with all the din he was making you'd think he was trying to pass off as a swarm… oh beautiful, now I have a mental image…

Anyhoo, as the sound died down I heard Takeru cry that Patamon was missing. Sure enough, looking up revealed the little bat-hamster trapped in Flymon's claws. What people don't know is that when you have a reaction to something once, the reaction to the exact same thing a second time is completely different. Of course a third time, no matter how rare, has yet another different reaction.

Instead of freezing again, at the concept of the Flymon being that close, I charged off after it, alongside Takeru, on his way to save Patamon. I didn't see Flamdramon around so I assume either I scared him with my reaction again, or he's trying to keep the others at bay.

Along came a spider… Seriously though, the next thing I know there two huge feet in front of me and I'm looking up at Metalgreymon's belly, Takeru right beside me. Oh… great… Apparently the others had actually noticed Metalgreymon, answering my question on why only us two nimrods were chasing the giant bug.

Flymon brought Patamon to the Kaizer, who had a Dark Spiral with him. Flamdramon tried to attack but I gathered my wits and called him to stop. I didn't want Patamon to get hurt, no matter how good Flamdramon's aim was. (Which is better then people give him credit for, I should add)

There's a scene in which I got into yet another argument with Takeru over how we should get Patamon away from the Kaizer. It had something to do with bait. Of course I learned today (Twice) that making fun of Takeru's hat, _while_ he's trying to think, is a bad idea.

Miyako broke us apart (Just in time) telling us to remember the Crest of Friendship. I myself was a little stunned by this, realising what I was doing. Yeah fighting might have been an okay way of making friends… on some weird level. But fighting your friends is also a big no-no in it's own way.

Takeru tried to run at Metalgreymon (To accomplish what, I don't want to know) and would have gotten sliced if Taichi hadn't run at him, pushing him out of the way of the Ultimate Digimon's claw.

At almost the same moment a blur of White appeared out of nowhere, and Patamon disappeared again. It was Garurumon, and inside his mouth was the recently saved Patamon. That was a relief, though adding fuel to the Kaizer's rage was not.

I must have been thinking aloud about Takeru's strong bond with Patamon, because Flamdramon heard me. He asked me if I would rescue him if he were in danger. I wanted to say yes… I swear, but something in me prevented that.

It was that doubt over myself being a friend, to anyone, because of the way I act. Flamdramon knew me, knew who I really was. And for that he would be a true friend. But I still cannot call myself as such, for fear that acknowledging it would bring me back to that time, so far away. Bring me back to when I thought I had friends back in Kyoto… those same friends who are the cause for my bad knee, and faint limp… which was broken in a fire _they_ started, when _they_ threw me down the stairs…

He seemed angry about my response. I had answered 'maybe'. From a different view 'maybe' was the best I could do. If it were in my power to save my friend/s I would do so. Like when the Kaizer asked me to beg for the release of my friends. I could not fathom a choice, or a method of doing so. Stuck, I had almost killed them… if it had been them.

Taichi was back to trying to get through to Metalgreymon, and Garurumon, with Yamato on his back, were trying to remove the Dark Spiral. Garurumon was holding back, frightened of hurting his friend, while Yamato urged him on all the more. I watched this as if from far away. I couldn't seem to look away no matter how much I wanted to. Everyone and everything was once more blurred, and the world seemed to crush in on me.

Afraid. I was afraid. Heck with that, I was petrified.

At one point I tried to convince Yamato to stop pushing Garurumon to attack Metalgreymon. Ignored I watched as Nefertimon and Digmon appeared to join Halsemon in attacking the larger Digimon. I barely heard as Taichi called to Halsemon to be careful, his own fear of hurting his aibou [Partner] evident. Halsemon was forgiven and Taichi seemed to slip back into the knowing that hurt or not, we had to do whatever we could to save our friend.

Yamato and Garurumon were relentless in their attack of the Spiral, while the others tried to draw the ultimates attention long enough for their attack to succeed. It was then I heard someone call me. It was Taichi. He called for me to help them. But I could barely hear him. I found the roar and rumble of the battle was strongly dimmed in my ears.

Beside me Flamdramon questioned my dis-attachment to the reality of the battle. Yes… that's what it was. A battle. A battle in a war, which, in my eyes, just wouldn't come to an end. A war, in which, I was thrust into being a leader of a small group, a rag-tag army.

I was like those young men, teenagers, who were signed into the army to become soldiers. The whole 'Your country needs _you_' slogan, was dancing through my head. But things had gotten so bad that we were fighting one of our own! But now that I think about it, wasn't all the Dejitarukai [Digital World] 'our own'. Weren't we fighting with them, and for them? Not for a country but a whole planet. In a sense I guess we were always fighting 'one of our own'.

Despite this epiphany, I just couldn't bring myself to say the words that needed to be heard. I couldn't say what I thought, because that would reveal myself to those around me, and I had hidden and deceived too long to give up where I now stood.

Hearing me, Flamdramon devolved to Veemon, looking up at me pitifully. What hurt me is what he said before, though. He told me that I had no clue about friendship. But knowing and doing are two different things, and I just couldn't bring myself to do anything. I am a coward. I was so confused. Veemon was yelling at me, asking how I could just stand and do nothing. But I had no choice!

In my life I had started out being shy, standing off to the side and simply watching. I was immediately ridiculed for doing so. And so I changed. I became friendly, and cheerful, letting people know I wanted to be their friend. I was hated. So again I tried being the class clown, being loud and boisterous.

That didn't work either! And here I am, stuck with what to do, once more. I could get us all killed. I could hurt just one, or I could hurt many. I could stand back and watch them make their own mistakes, or I could jump in and make more. I was stuck.

And then Taichi said that it wasn't about me. What did he think I was being selfish? I have got to rephrase what I say out-loud. He said that it was about the choices, the sacrifices one must make for friendship. Like how I continued to change, but to no avail.

If I'd had continued on that path, who knows how I'd end up. But what if I were to go backwards? Perhaps, when it all came down to it, when you have to give up everything to do what's right, the important thing to give up, is yourself.

They're still fighting, doing all they could no matter what. And what am I doing? I'm standing there admiring their strong bond with their partners, their relationships, strength's and courage. Inside I wish more then anything to have a bond, a friendship with someone like that. And to reach that level of strength would mean stepping away from the way I think and act now, if only to gain just one step in the right direction.

Just then Metalgreymon's claw rammed into the ground, and to my shock it was in the same place where Veemon was. Correction: had been. Patamon had saved him at the last minute. Despite my feeble attempt to assure myself that Veemon was all right by asking, Takeru still came in. He yelled at me, fingering me for having just stood there and watched.

You give me too much credit Takashi-kun, I wasn't even watching…

I realised then, what made their friendships so strong. Because they were willing to do anything to protect each other, and to use all their strength in helping the other to find their way, because, in the end, they'd do the same for you.

I was Veemon's friend. And I did have a bond with him, no matter how loose. And I said as much out loud, finally taking that one step. Friendship is as powerful as you make it.

The Digimental sensed this. It rose up and floated out into the battle and stopped… right in front of _me_. It was mine. The Digimental of Friendship belonged to me, the one who could never make a friend his entire life. First it was the Digimental of Courage, which came despite my fears and doubts. Now this. But I understand.

Courage for the one who faces his fears, and musters the strength to forgive those who need it. Friendship for the one who would die to protect those he loves most. Friends, family… in the end don't we harvest love for the both? Aren't the two similar in the sense that we would do all we could just to see them safe and smiling? Yes. I believe so.

I could hear the others again. The sounds and colours were all back, and the path ahead was clearer now. They were happy, because of what I'd done. I had managed to activate the Digimental. We hadn't won; we hadn't even scratched the surface. But I made them smile all the same. It felt good.

Activating the Digivolution caused Veemon to become Lighdramon, a Digimon of lightning! His attack was Blue Thunder. The others smiles faded somewhat when his attack hit Metalgreymon dead center but did nothing. Though it did make me a little mad. I mean, here I am worrying about hurting him and when we finally get a Digimon strong enough to stand up to him, nothing happens! Yes, fate is laughing at me…

Yamato's idea was to work as a team, to attack him together. I was still unsure, though I probably didn't need to say so out loud. Either that or my legs have taken root… I'm just glad Takeru didn't hit me…

I realised I had only been worrying about what would happen by my point of view, and not the team's. Because in a team you work together, as a whole, to create one being that has the strengths of the whole, in order to fight. After all, does not the body have many different parts, which join together to make a whole?

And so I climbed onto Lighdramon's back, as Yamato had done with Garurumon, and together we headed off to face the Kaizer. With Garurumon and Yamato's help, Lighdramon and I were able to shatter the Spiral. The dark influence gone, Metalgreymon became Agumon again, and Taichi could only race to him in a reunion of happiness.

The Kaizer was gone, and everyone was happy. Atop my Digimon, I watched them and smiled ever so slightly; a true smile. I believe Lighdramon saw me, because he moved closer to the group. Though I guess the day's events must have caught up to me, because I suddenly slumped over feeling faint. Hikari was congratulating me, and all I could do was stare at the ground in an attempt to keep my balance. I had never stood up for anything like that before, and inside I guess it was all a bit much. Though I really could have done without Yamato jumping at me and ruffling my hair. He still scared me by the way… Though in a way I guess I understand him and Taichi a little better.

Back in the Computer room the whole day seemed kind of surreal, and I wondered if it had truly been real. I opened my D-terminal only to find I now had two Digimentals. Veemon was now twice as strong, and I now felt as if I belonged, even just a little more. I had taken a step today, and not just one; on the road I hope will lead me to realise I finally have friends.

Taichi had thanked me, calling me a Yosh tomodachi. [Good friend] I have never been thanked, nor have I ever considered myself a friend, never mind a _good_ one. This somewhat surprised me, and of course was probably one of the reason's Yamato just had to give me a Noogie. Odd baka… [Idiot]

I'm officially part of the team now, and that lead me once again to wonder over being the so-called 'leader' of said team. Chibimon seemed proud, probably noticing the half-dazed cheerful expression, which seemed to have permanently plastered itself to my face. I was… happy.

I understand I have a lot to learn, about Courage, Friendship, Teamwork, and even about just being me. But I am willing to learn, if the others are willing to teach me…

…

To end a brief workweek of disaster, it is now 4 in the morning and I haven't slept in two days. So if you'll excuse my hurried recollection of the past few days, I'm going to go pass out in the hope that today is Saturday, and not Wednesday, like I kept thinking it was during the afternoon.

G'night.

~ M. A. D / ~Red*Dragon~ / |~AkaiDra~|

+ End Journal Entry +

~*^*^*~

People often read one thing, and think another, or hear something and interpret it differently from others. People who speak with eloquence usually do so in a manner that sometimes even they themselves do not understand. Though there are those who speak purely from the spirit, and their words are filled with Honour and respect.

Now Daisuke was one who saw himself in the world as a mere slave, a background face, a shadow. Thus he himself would write and speak humbly, with respect for those around him. For some the word 'love' has been taken out of contrast and become corrupt and perverse. But for Daisuke, and others of honour, it is a term used to describe those who he respects, and sees as brothers and sisters.

When you look at a girl or boy, one may think along the lines of sex, or merely a piece-of-meat so to speak. You will see a person, without a face, and see flesh, without a form. But if you look to this person with respect, you will see their true beauty; you will see neither girl, nor boy, but a sibling or cousin. Someone who you have not yet met, and yet at the same time, is alike to you, in a sense of family and friendship.

This is how we should see each other: friends, family, brothers and sisters. Because if we see each other with love, and not lust, perhaps those who judge without righteousness, who ridicule without reason, might see that they themselves are not perfect as well. Then perhaps we all might turn our weaknesses into strength, and journey into the Light together.

A/N: Okay, yes, I've said it before I am Christian. No ones held that against me yet, so I'm just going to carry on with my little fluff-speeches. ^_^

This is for someone who reviewed on a previous chapter and thought I was turning this story into a Shounen-ai/Yaoi plot. For those of you who actually like this: nope sorry, not happening. There's enough angst and revelations in here to keep me busy _without_ adding a half-bit 'romance' of sorts. Though you can seriously take it anyway you want; I'm just not in the mood for writing hard-out Shounen-ai… again…

Did anybody notice my little 'self-insertion' in the first paragraph? (18772.EXE, lol)

Note: The Goldfish on Weed refers to a friend of mine, who was talking about our other friend's really bad memory. (He forgets faster then a Goldfish on Weed) Also the part about Linux is probably myself having hung around my other friend too much. But at least he knows what he's talking about, while I feign actually paying attention…


	10. Just Another Lemon

A/N: The Title does not refer to a song, but the fact that a while ago, to say something was a Lemon, was the equivalent of 'No' or a negative.

**Daisuke's Journal **

[Just Another Lemon]

One might believe the day had started out bad enough, what with the thunderstorm which started at 4 in the morning and woke everyone up, or even how it was darker then usual at 8 when people were out and about. Though, through this the thunder had at leased ceased by 9, and the rain had dulled to a shower by lunchtime.

Inside Odaiba Elementary School, students were partaking of their lunch inside classrooms, halls, the cafeteria and gym.

Few were sitting on the ground while others sat on chairs or tables, and still others stood or moved about. In the gym they'd started a mixed game of dodge ball and hockey (Until both sticks and pucks were confiscated by an enraged Gym Teacher), quite a few people were chatting away and yet others sat about and played games, read or worked.

Yes, one might have thought many parts of the day to be a 'drag' or gloomy, but not for others, who had welcomed the unusual wake-up call, and had enjoyed the thunder and rain as companionship on their way to school. One such person was a Motomiya Daisuke, who was sitting in the Library, nibbling on some crackers, as he hid between the bookshelves, reading through large volumes, which were scattered about as he sat on the ground.

_::Flashback::_

A younger Daisuke is sitting underneath a table, in the Library of the Osaka Primary School. He looks around at the people and children as they walk passed, his own expression frightened.

As was typical most days, especially at the start of the week, the local school bullies had decided to search him out. Usually it was just for kicks, Daisuke barely having enough 'lunch-money' to buy a drink, and truly there were many reasons; one such reason being his intelligence.

These particular 'bullies' were in his class, despite being almost 2 years older then him. He'd been pushed up a class, despite his father's protests, and instead of making friends, had managed to make enemies instead.

These particular students weren't too happy at being shown up by someone younger then him, despite their lack of appropriate grades to begin with, as is the way of the school social system, in many a country and generation. There were only two boys seeking him out today, both part of the most feared gang in the school. The name of said gang was 'Flood Light', though only they knew exactly why they were called this.

One boy had fiery red hair, which matched his ice-blue eyes, earning him the nickname of 'Fire Ice'. He was only now peering through the window into the library, the Table below him. Daisuke could see only his fringe from his hiding place, though this was enough.

The other boy was to be feared the most. He had dark blond hair, and Grey-Brown eyes. He was the leader of the 'Flood Light' gang, and it was said none could defeat him – not even an adult. Though it was a mystery as to exactly what no one could beat him in.

In was some time before Daisuke peered out from under the table, seeing the two boys running past the library doors, still searching him out. Seeing their search had now taken him into the halls, and rooms of the school, he decided now would be a good time to hide outside.

This, I should point out, is an age-old tactic used in games such as hide-n-seek, and also used in real battles and other such strategies. Hiding in a different place wasn't enough unless you continually moved your position, making it less likely that you will be found.

Not wanting to alert his presence by exiting the library doors, he made his way to the very back corner of the library, hidden by shelves and shadows. There he opened the large window and lifted himself up onto the ledge. Slipping through the window and down to the ground below, found him completely hidden in a bed of weeds and grass.

He breathed a sigh, listening to the sounds of the playground, as he relaxed against the wall. Once again he had narrowly escaped lord-knows what, and all that needed to be done now, was to wait for the bell. Then, he'd have to figure out a way to avoid the _whole _gang, after school…

_::End Flashback::_

Stretching, the goggle-headed youth started to pack away the large volumes, each entitled 'Mythology' in curly Maroon-coloured Kanji.

Just as he was finishing putting the books back, he realised someone was watching him. Looking up revealed the youngest member of the Dejitaru Ummei's, rag-tag group, Hida Iori. He was looking a little uncomfortable and unnerved, like he'd just realised something he wasn't supposed to have.

Daisuke blinked up at his friend, confused, before he finished with his stacking and grabbed his pack. Swinging it over his shoulder, he turned back to the younger boy, who was still standing there; now looking at his feet as if they were all the interest in the world.

Daisuke, having had enough of this, poked the brunette's forehead, causing him to look up at the older. Iori blinked Emerald eyes up into Ash-Brown, looking both startled and embarrassed. Daisuke frowned slightly, quirking an eyebrow at his friend.

"Nande ga hoshii desu ka?" [What do you want?] He asked. Iori blinked again, expression gone.

"Uh… the music teacher, Wuu-Sensei… he asked me to come get you." Iori bowed his head again, causing Daisuke to continue staring at him in confusion. It seemed to click, after a few seconds, as he watched the boy shuffling his feet, a dark green portfolio in his hands. The portfolio was typical of music-students, who kept their notes and sheets in the transparent pages.

Wuu-Sanpai had probably sent Iori, who wanted to learn an instrument, to one of the volunteers who'd signed up earlier that month. Evidently he had sent Iori to Daisuke, or Akaidra, as he had signed up as, to learn said instrument.

"Well…" Daisuke started. "Shall we go?" Iori blinked up at his friend, startled. Obviously he'd been surprised to find out Daisuke was to be his teacher… though, Daisuke suspected, he was more surprised that he knew how to play an instrument at all.

With a nod the younger boy followed his friend, and the two headed up to the next floor, towards the school Music room. Earlier that week he and a few others had been asked into the Music room. Wuu-Sanpai had told them that they were now Student Teachers, and had a responsibility to keep an eye on their students, as well as teach them.

There were only five volunteers – three being girls – and most of which were in their last year, or had signed up when visiting from the high school. Needless to say, no one recognised Daisuke, or troubled about him too much. They were each given ID's and an extra key to the music room, and were told that they would be called on later to teach.

"I'm sure you know where everything is." Wuu-Sanpai (As everyone called him, since he disliked being referred to as 'Sensei') gave both boys a warm smile, as he made a sweeping motion with his hand, over the interior of the room.

Daisuke and Iori merely nodded. The teacher's warm smile, and detachment to reality, was either nerve wrecking for some, or soothing for others. Right now, he was merely running Daisuke through what one may call 'standard procedure', while greeting Iori.

"Right, that should be all." Wuu-Sanpai stood back, fists at his waist, in a thoughtful manner. "Now, don't let me be getting any complaints from the other volunteers, or teachers, understood?" Both boys nodded. "Splendid!" And with that, he left.

Both boys blinked after him, vaguely stunned – as was the common reaction to being in the presence of the music-sensei. Shaking themselves back into reality, the two entered the room and headed towards the corner nearest the blackboard, and the windows.

"So… you want to learn the piano?" Daisuke started, figuring a good conversation was needed to dull the weirdness level, even just a little bit.

"Hai." so much for that idea.

"Any particular reason?" Daisuke grabbed a seat and sat down, leaning forward against the backing.

"Kaasan thought it would be a good idea, since I don't play a sport, or have an after-school group to go to." He sat at the piano, thumbing his folder unconsciously.

"Aa…"

A rather uncomfortable silence filled the room, to which Daisuke decided to occupy his mind with exactly how he was going to teach Iori to play, being largely self-taught from books and experience. Iori, however, seemed to be between being upset, and nervous. Finally the younger placed his folder on the small wooden holster, and settled himself on the bench seat.

"Davis?"

"Hai?"

"Ano… whose… Akaidra?"

"Me." Iori turned suddenly to stare at him. His response had been monotonous and instant, as if he just didn't care.

"Eh?" The older sighed slightly.

"It's my middle name. Jun named me, you see." Nodding in understanding, Iori everted his gaze again. "So," He jumped at the abrupt response, in which Daisuke had risen and now stood behind him. "Shall we start, or do you just want to stare at it for the rest of the lesson?"

Iori couldn't help but chuckle at this, giving a definite nod. With a nod of his own, the tanned youth started pointing at the keys in silence, seeming to be counting them. Finally he gave another exclamation before he seated himself beside the brunette.

"All right, then! What do you already know about Piano's?"

"Nothing." Daisuke slowly turned to stare at him.

"You're kidding?"

"Iie."

"O… Kay… Right then." He opened Iori's folder, revealing cords, basic practise bars and blank sheets. "Alright, these are the sharps." He pointed to the Black keys, and then to the appropriate cords on the paper. "These are flats," He pointed once more to the folder before them. "And they're made by using these pedals. There are 6 natural cords, which are A, B, C, D, E, F, and G. You remember your English lessons?" Iori nodded. "Good, those are the first 6 letters of the English alphabet. You still with me?" Iori gave a smile and nod.

"Hai."

And that is how the lesson continued. Mostly with Daisuke explaining exactly what a 'cord' was, where it was, and how to change it's pitch. You know, the basics. Anyway, after a while Iori paused the lesson with another question.

"Davis… where did you learn… well, this?"

"Well… I mostly taught myself. I get bored easily, so I needed to keep myself busy."

"How many instruments to you play?" Daisuke turned to eye his student carefully.

"What makes you think I know how to play more then one?"

"Wuu-Sanpai." _'Of course.'_ The elderly man was known for waffling on about just about anything, and everything. Especially anything he found interesting – such as someone Dai's age being able to play several musical instruments.

"Ano… I play the piano, guitar, Drums, and the penny whistle. Which of course, means I can play the flute, or recorder, as well as the keyboard. I can also play the harmonica… but I sort of lost mine…"

Iori stared. He stared as one who had been smacked in the face. He stared and a part of him seemed lost to the flow of words. He stared… and this made Daisuke nervous.

"Er… Iori…?"

"…" The younger averted his eyes again, before seeming to wake up. "What do you do?"

"Sumimasen?"

"With all the instruments you play. Do you write songs, like Yamato does?" Daisuke blinked, before noticing the clock above the door.

"Gah! Iori, we're going to be late for class!" He quickly returned the folder to the younger boy's arms, before grabbing his bag, and hurrying around the piano. "Meet me here tomorrow at lunch and we'll set up a schedule for you, okay? Kay, Ja ne!" And with that he was gone.

Iori stared after him for a few more seconds, before he started to put his own things away, and walked a little more calmly to his next class. His friend was a little more of an enigma then first thought…

It was still overcast, but at least the rain had stopped. Though one should be cautious in thinking such things, as our God is a fickly one and enjoys being contrary to logic. Just look at some of those creatures, which he's created!

Daisuke stretched, along with the yawn that had been threatening to escape, since his departure of 'the place of torment and conformists', as was a suitable nickname for any school – though mostly high schools.

All around, people and children mulled in the small street, which served as a walkway through the shops. All around people sold their wares, while others browsed, and yet others were intrigued enough into actually buying something. As was the difference between consumers and bargain whores.

Muttering to himself the pre-teen folded his arms behind his head, in an attempt to rid himself of the slowly building migraine, which had followed him like a lost puppy since lunchtime.

Internally he mused over the event of his first 'lesson' as the teacher. The whole time –though responsive, and apparently listening – Iori had been eyeing him with a look that could only be described as embarrassment. And of course Daisuke, being the angst-happy bunny that he was, took this to mean that the younger boy had been embarrassed of his 'sudden' rise in IQ.

Once again he was stuck at that place, in which he was stuck between being what his 'friends' wanted him to be, and doing something he loved. Obviously, throughout his life he had constantly made the former decision. Of course, this had always led to more hardship and suffering, on his behalf.

_'Maybe this time,'_ He wondered. _'This time I should just leave it and see what happens.'_ If he were lucky, this little 'mental experiment' wouldn't blow up in his face, like the last one.

_::Flashback::_

All around him the smell of alcohol was intoxicating, and the room was starting to reach such low temperatures, he couldn't have imagined were possible. Everything was spinning, and blurring, seeming to fall in on itself.

"Help me! Matte!"

Outside he could hear laughter and yelling, as those who blocked the doorway, enjoyed the sounds of his screams and pleads. The darkness grew with every passing minute, and still he pounded on the door. On his knees he cried for help.

"Maa-Maa, Shizuka na!" [Now-now, be quiet!] A girls voice – Zuzu – taunted from outside. A boys voice – Hamen – joined in:

"Sou, you don't want us to leave you… all alone… in the dark…" They laughed, almost psychotically.

"Onegai shimasu… Nani o shite… Zuzu-Ojosan ka?" [What are you doing, Miss Zuzu?]

He had thought Zuzu was his friend! She had been so nice to him – he had thought maybe because people made fun of her, for shaving her head, and looking like a boy. She even listened when he said he'd been afraid of the dark cabin, near the forest – which was exactly where he was now.

"You trust too much." Hamen scoffed from the other side of the door.

"He is coming! Kaijuu!" [(The) Monster] The two laughed again.

"Help…"

_::End Flashback::_

Tripping slightly, the youth quickly stumbled out of the way of a man, laden with packages and heavy objects, beyond description – mostly because Daisuke was too busy trying to regain his balance, then to stop and watch.

Finding his footing once more, the teen looked around at the signs, which hung high above the street. Some were in clear writing, while others were either neon lights, or a digital board. Finding the store he sought, the boy made his way through the crowd and into the bookstore, narrowly avoiding another collision, as he scurried through the doorway.

Inside the large room was illuminated by twin florescent lights, which revealed shelves of books, magazines, and writing utensils. There was a shelf dedicated to journals and address book, while below schoolbooks and writing pads reined. Nearest the counter – which was just beside the door – was a rack of magazines, Manga and a poster canister.

Avoiding the suspicious gaze of the shopkeeper – a young woman with light Grey hair, and dressed all in blue, her eyes dark and piercing – he headed in the direction of the shelf laden with journals. There he began his search, thinking of how this place reminded him of something…

Yes, it reminded him of a small store where he worked on the weekends. It sold second-hand goods, and often smelt of rot and varnish. He had been in charge of cleaning and caring for most of the stock, before he'd been 'upgraded' to storage and lifting. Joy.

Finally his search came to an end, as he pulled out a Black, leatherback folder, with the English word 'Organizer' in silver on the front. He'd only really found motivation to buy a schedule keeper today, what with his gaining a student, and all. He'd been meaning to get one for a while now, since he kept loosing his school timetable.

This particular folder was lined with a zipper, which he pulled to open it. Inside he found a day-to-day schedule keeper, a notepad and a pen. Flipping through the schedule revealed a calendar/schedule and extra blank notes.

Nodding in satisfaction he closed the folder-book, and went to the counter. The lady gave him a funny look, having noted that people, who owned small businesses, usually bought this Organizer.

_'I've worked in many places, despite my young age and lack of experience. Being that I'm treated more like a hindrance to my family, rather then a member, I often have to take liberties in taking care of myself. Such as working in various jobs for money, so that I can buy my lunch, or breakfast. At times I've been known to skip meals, or save small amounts of money, whenever I need to buy something other then food; Such as my newly bought Organizer._

_'At one point I believe I was doing the usual odd jobs, like mowing lawns, walking dogs, house sitting, gardening or even helping elderly people by doing their shopping for them. It's been a while since I've tried these, since I'd gotten used to the higher prices in a city like Osaka, and had to find higher-paying jobs. Though I guess in a place like Odaiba, I could start again, as everything here is a little slower then city-life. Personally I like it here, though I don't want to get too attached in case we move… again.'_

_'I remember one time – I was only about 8 or 9 – just before we left, I had a job as an assistant for this guy who was starting his job as a pastor. He was often getting himself into trouble trying to organise events, keep track of all the people in his congregation, think of a sermon every week, as well as make time for his family and work on his new home._

_'I had done my best to help him keep track of people by writing down small things about them – their names, ages, phone numbers, family, and even what they were interested in – while at the same time I even helped with organising events, camps, and Cell-groups._

_'When we'd had to leave, I'd made sure to find a reliable young person in the local youth-group, to help him out. To this day I still keep in touch with him, and worry whenever he informs me of a major event happening at his church. He was always trying to take on too much, and get involved in everything. Mostly I worried that he'd burn himself out, or have a heart attack or something!'_

_'So it was that I have been known to disappear for hours on end – between leaving school, and arriving at home just in time for curfew – simply doing odd jobs like keeping a store tidy, or doing someone's laundry. Well, at least I'll have all the knowledge I need for taking care of myself when I'm older… though it bothers me, somewhat, that these are the kinds of things a mother should be teaching her child, instead of the child going out into the world before he's ready…'_

All around there was nothing but dark sands, and dark sky. Neither wind nor light could be seen in this Desert of Night. The cold from the Grey sand seemed to seep into anything that touched it, bringing with it feelings of loneliness, and regret. The Sky was painted blue-purple, faintly Grey at the line between itself and the sands.

Daisuke gave a shudder as he stepped across the sands, bare-foot and in his pale yellow pyjamas. He felt… confused. This place was both familiar and completely alien to him. Like he had seen it before, but perhaps had not physically come, due to his lack of memory.

The sands moved as he moved onwards, not knowing where he was, where he was going, or even how he had come here. Perhaps this place had brought him here, of its own accord. Or even something in it. The youth did not enjoy these thoughts, nor the meaning implied within.

If this were a dream then this place would probably be like a sort of reflection of himself. The deserted wasteland, cold and empty like his soul. The colours, or lack thereof, were like the faded images in his mind. Altogether it was a picture of his tainted heart.

Just then there was a scream from behind, and despite his numbed emotions and thoughts, Daisuke couldn't help but stiffen and turn in response to the sudden noise. The scream was not human… or at least, he willed it not to be.

Looking back at the footsteps he himself had made, he followed them back to a shadow, which seemed to creep across the land as fast as a silent wind.

It was unlike anything he had ever seen before. The shadow was completely Black. Not Black like at night, when you could at least see with the light of the moon and stars, and not Black like hair or paint. This was not just Black. This was like an absence of colour, or substance. He could almost see through this… thing, into a hole of nothing.

The scream multiplied and strengthened, obviously coming from the creature, which started to take on a silhouetted shape. It had many horns, and claws long and sharp. Its legs were like trees that had no roots, and shook the ground as they fell. Its body was merely a blotch, until it seemed that the thing had donned either a pair of shredded wings, or a flyaway cape.

Lastly eyes appeared above what would probably be its mouth – which was a dark, dark shadow of purple on pure darkness. Its eyes were bright and sharp in contrast to the rest of its body, as they glowed brightly, in an almost White hue of ice-red.

The screams surrounded them as the creature moved up to Daisuke, claws outstretched above its head, mouth opening wide. It stopped, glaring down at the boy in the sand, who had fallen to his knees at the shaking of the beast's footfall. The screams died down to throaty growls and angry snarling.

Daisuke stood. And he stared.

The creature roared. But Daisuke did not move, nor did he cower or look surprised. No emotion made it's home on his face, as he stared up at this monstrosity before him; nor did his body obey to any plea he might have given to run.

For this is the fear of all, and those who became it were no longer human.

One fears what he cannot understand, and hides from those who do. The greatest fear is for one to not care, nor feel anything. As they feel inside they are calm in the fact that they can handle anything given them, and if not, would surly die anyway.

For mans greatest fear, is himself.

The creature sprang down upon the soulless child, whose eyes stared up, eyes of cold, Grey-blue.

Daisuke's eyes snapped open suddenly – noting quickly his position, where he lay, on the floor – gasping once in a moment of shock. He dared not move from his position on the ground, hands dug into the carpet, eyes puffy with dried tears. He shuddered involuntarily as his wide eyes now surveyed the darkened, and quite room, around him.

He was not certain exactly how he'd come to be on the floor of his room. Though from here he could see the bed – made as if not slept in – and there was a thin blanket, half covering him. He should probably thank Veemon for that.

With a heave of breath and weak muscles, Daisuke got slowly to his knees, feeling dizzy and tired as though he had run for miles. Breathing deeply, he crawled up, onto the bed, and curled up with the blanket.

He didn't bother tunnelling under the covers, as it was a warm night – as were many, though that didn't stop him feeling the cold, as if beneath his very skin – and eventually dozed off, wishing fervently… As he always did…

Dreams are a wish, that your heart makes when your asleep – someone once said – and that a nightmare is the unconscious recognition of the reality around us. People with a happy life – a loving family, and filled with a true joy – often have more dreams then nightmares. These people often dream of things that – though beyond their reach – are often worth working towards.

Those whose nightmares are unstoppable; those who are known to cry themselves to sleep at night, are the same whose lives are less then perfect. They're dreams are scarce, as their hope has been diminished. Any goal put before them is hard to achieve, though it would appear simple, and childish to someone who does not understand.

A child's wish – a forgotten hope – would always be of a rescuer, of a way out. Or perhaps even… a faint spark of love.

A/N: Yes, all right, this took some time to finish. But it's done now, so be greatful! I've been working on a thousand other stories at once, as well as my artwork and schoolwork.

Note: the 'pastor' mentioned, is tribute to my youth pastor… really, he does way too much, but he has such a great attitude. We worry often…

And no, I don't know anything about Pianos. What I do know has been shoved out of my brain by the irritation that is my science and maths…


	11. Brighter the Light, Darker the Shadow

A/N: from the Japanese and descriptions, can you tell what Manga I've been reading?

For your viewing pleasure:

-Kun Term used between friends (usually boys and tough (tomboy) girls)

Oneesan Older Sister

Nanigoto desu ka Are you all right?

Anou Um… Er… (Used when searching for a word, or to catch someone's attention)

Soo Really?

Ja mata (Ja ne) See you (later)

Ore no baka I am an Idiot (A/N: I use this one a lot)

Daijoubu All right (Or 'I am well')

Bento (Slang) Japanese lunch box, usually made of wood, plastic, flax, or cardboard. Literally: Lunch Box (Proper spelling: Obentou)

Yami Dark/Darkness

Yume Dream

Reiteki na Spiritual (Of the Spiritual World – Reikai)

**Daisuke's Journal**

_Brighter the Light, Darker the Shadow_

It's amazing how random the weather can be, if you stop to think about it. One second you could be watching overcast clouds, wandering the sky in search of some poor soul to pour on; and the next thing you know it's a clear blue sky and the sun is shining like nobodies business. Okay, some people might say annoying, but there are few others who simply just like what they see.

We now join one Motomiya Daisuke laying on his back (Despite the fresh bruises and cuts) and staring lazily up into the sky. Few clouds were seen, and most seemed to have converged on the sun, casting long cool shadows across the ground.

Have you ever watched the cloud's shadows? It's rather unusual to say the least. For one thing clouds aren't solid, so each one seems ever so vaguely transparent. But alas, we are not watching cloud-shadows now, for we are watching Daisuke. And Daisuke-Kun is watching the clouds, up in the sky. Thus no one is watching the ground.

"Davis!" Well, apart from someone looking at the lazing boy, who happens to be _on_ said ground.

The young Goggle-boy grunted and twisted his head towards the source of the voice, which was coming towards him from his head, thus he had to arc his already sore back slightly. A slight gasp of pain, and his vision blurred, but not before he recognised the Orange-red hair and the forest-green and Milk-cream Uniform.

Takenouchi Sora adjusted her pack-strap, and leaned over to get a better view of – what the others had come to fondly call – Taichi-Rainen, or the next Taichi. The boy seemed to be wincing slightly; eyes squeezed shut. She had caught him in the park, apparently daydreaming, arms behind his head, and backpack lying haphazardly beside him.

"Davis? Nanigoto desu ka?" She asked, concerned at the boy's pained expression.

She gave a smile as he opened one eye to look up at her, all pain and expression gone from his face as if it was never there. He then grinned up at her, eyes sparkling happily.

"Aa! Sora-Oneesan! Hai, I am well. And you?" She giggled slightly at the suffix, given her by Miyako and Hikari. (Though they used the suffix –Chan, whereas the boys used –San so as not to get hurt)

"Hai, Daijoubu." She then moved around to sit beside the fire-headed youth. "So… what's on your mind, Davis?" She prodded gently, in an almost sisterly/motherly teasing fashion. Daisuke was not used to either and so felt uncomfortable around the girls, and a few people like Taichi and Takeru who liked to get 'close and personal' with people. He sat up in an effort to calm the blush and uneasiness.

"Anou… nothing much… just…" He trailed off, looking to the sky, eyes dulling slightly. "Musing." He managed to finish the sentence, albeit unconsciously.

"Soo? What about?"

"Eh?" Daisuke blinked, falling back to reality as he turned to eye the cheerful girl beside him. "Nani?"

"What were you 'musing' about?" Fighting back another blush Daisuke stared at his shoes, sprawled out in front of him.

"N… not much… just… stuff…"

"Oh." Sora seemed slightly disappointed. Obviously she had been in a somewhat active mood and wanted to talk or hang out with someone with a similar amount of energy. Finding Daisuke had been – in her eyes – quite lucky. She had expected to at least get into a heated discussion about what cloud looked like what… but not this…

Seeing that all she was really doing was pressuring the boy, she got up again and stretched as Daisuke looked up at her in confusion.

"Well, I need to get to Tennis practise. Ja mata Davis!" With that she hurried away.

"Uh… Ja ne, Sora-Oneesan!" he waved after her retreating form before falling back to the grass with a grunt. He then leapt back up with a stifled yelp and rubbed his frayed back. "Ore no baka…" he grumbled.

Journal Entry, Hachi

It started at the park, or outside it… or wherever I happened to be at the time seeing as I was only half-there the whole trip. Uh… yeah…

Anyway, I was headed… somewhere, and then Sora ran up to me (For the second time that day), cell-phone over her ear. Apparently she was talking to Miyako… or Hikari, by the sounds of it. She slowed down and stopped by me (I had stopped by now to watch the crazy girl) and quickly finished her call while I waited.

Done with Miyako, she smiled at me, all cheerful again like she was earlier. Don't get me wrong she's a great person, and seems to have taken on the role of Older-sister of the group, but I guess that's what scares me about her. I'm not used to people being so nice to me in a sibling-relationship sense. (Or any relationship up until a few months ago)

She explained that while at Tennis practise with her two friends her Digivice had gone off. Fearing for her Digimon, Piyomon's safety, she had immediately excused herself and phoned Miyako on her way back to me. (I just happened to be on the way to the school)

We two hurried there to find Iori and Miyako awaiting us. Takeru was – I guess – asleep. And Hikari had taken Tailmon off on a bike-ride around Odaiba. (I learned earlier that Takeru tends to sleep quite a lot on Sundays… don't blame him. That's the only day I get to sleep in too)

So off we went, the three newbies and our… guide, I guess since she was the one who got the 'call' from Piyomon. Anyhoo, we ended up in a desert area of the Digital World, in which was a town that looked like a replica of America's old-west. Ooh, look-it the tumbleweed…

Random observations aside, we had run into a bit of a sandstorm blown up by our arrival. I seemed to be more prepared then the others, putting Taichi's goggles over my eyes quickly, to try and see through the sand, and upon seeing the small town, quickly guided the group towards it.

I guess it would have been pretty cool, had the affect not been ruined by the fact that we'd apparently landed near the dump, where there were obviously modern-day bits of trash lying around… if the wrecked car is anything to go by… Oi, the people who made Digiworld were random…

As we traipsed through the 'street' I instantly picked up the sound of music.

Sora stated the obvious – as is apparently the job of at least one person per journey – that it was coming from the Saloon. Where else would they have a piano in a replica of the Wild West? Beside's a Music hall or Church I mean. (Neither of which we could see)

We went inside to find that the music came from an old Player piano, and the single-room was empty. Though it didn't stay that way for long, as the music stopped and out popped a Digimon. Honestly if I wasn't expecting it I would have had a heart attack, or something similar…

He introduced himself as Starmon, the surrogate sheriff of the town – which was apparently named 'Sirus'. After apologising for intruding, he was kind enough to give us some cool milk to drink away the thirst of the dusty-air. Personally I was wondering how come he'd given us milk – _fresh_ milk, nonetheless – which in my opinion could have smelt, tasted and looked the same if it was chemical-tainted water. Eh, maybe I'm just pessimistic…

Anyway, Sora questioned Sheriff Starmon of Piyomon, and he turned on a screen in the wall (Once again ruining the Wild West affect) showing many Wanted posters of Sora's partner.

She was relieved Piyomon wasn't captured yet, as the Kaiser would put a dark ring on her. Just at the moment Starmon revealed himself to be wearing a ring. It had been hidden by his cowboy hat. I could have done without Veemon's attempt at acting tough…

We quickly hurried out as his back was turned, unfortunately we didn't get very far before he used his Meteor Shower attack on us, knocking us all unconscious. Not again… I'm getting tired of ending up comatose when I go to the Digiworld. My back hurts enough for today, thankyou.

We came to in a cage… er… prison? No… well, it was a door and bars running the length of the room, splitting it in half. Yeah… in the Cell we found a rather worn Piyomon who had apparently been there for a while after being chased by Airdramon.

She said how she had wandered into the Saloon after being shot down – thus reverting back to Piyomon, from Birdramon – and had met Starmon. Having had no idea this area was under the Kaiser's control, she had been as shocked as us when the so-called Sheriff had attacked her.

After an ill-fated attempt at breaking out, the major problem we figured was that the Digimon were all tired and hungry. Which of course, rules out Digivolving. Just as we were about to start yet another time-renowned argument, Piyomon heard hoof-beat, just outside the jailhouse.

It turned out to be Deputymon, Starmon's partner. After a brief spat – and Deputymon loosing his clothes – we found he was not under the control of the Kaiser, and so was on our side, or at least, not on the enemies side. It turns out there's a big difference when it comes to Digimon like the Deputy.

Turns out the only 'side' he was on was his own, and on his side he had cards. He wanted to play cards, and he needed players. Thing is he had it in mind that boys cheat, so therefore would only let the girls out to play with him… and I must now ask all you perverts to _get your heads out of the gutter_!

Now I should point out that Hawkmon was taken out too, but it's in my opinion that you can hardly ever tell the gender of a bird, Digimon or no. That and I think Deputymon is short sighted, or something. Of course I don't know why he thought only boys cheated at cards. I, for a fact, know that Miyako has been known to cheat at Old Maid, Solitaire and even Speed – how? I don't know.

Anyway, after he'd left – locking us in even more then before, so we couldn't escape and cheat in his game – Starmon came back, so he could watch us on his lunch break. He'd only just taken a disposable Bento out of the desk drawer, when he noticed the girls were missing. He then proceeded to get really mad, really fast, and went after them – leaving his Bento.

Now of course the tow Digimon would notice this first, and of course Iori would come up with a plan to get it. Though I was just thinking how ridiculous this whole thing must look. His plan, by the by, was for the Digimon to eat the ropes – um, Ew? – Pretending they were pasta. He then tied the ropes together, and made a noose.

I then put my hours of boredom to good use, and lassoed the Bento. Yes, I spent about a month reading about rope-tricks and tying knots, only to learn how to do Cowboy tricks, and create a pulley-system in my room – which I then had to get rid of before my parents came back from their vacation.

Iori seemed impressed, though refrained from questioning my skills, for fear he might find himself shocked again. I should really have a talk with him someday, before I do something else to frighten him.

Since the best way out of the cell was to dig out – or just plain break down a wall – Armadiomon was the one to eat the food in the Bento, though he was kind enough to let Veemon take a nibble as well. That's what I like about Digimon, they're kind to each other, resourceful and naturally gentle unless provoked. Not unlike some humans, though unlike them they seem to have the knack of premonition and empathy.

Armadiomon evolved to Digmon, and we were out. Veemon armour evolved to Raidramon, and the two of us went to get the girls. We arrived in time to fine Starmon and Deputymon having a showdown… it was kind of hard to tell who was winning, though Deputymon was down for the time being. Starmon used another 'Meteor Shower' knocking us both out of the sky, and causing Raidramon to devolve. Fortunately the girls and their Digimon caught us.

Veemon requested I use the Digimental of Courage, since he was a better fighter as Flamdramon, having more experience – not to mention mobility – In that form. He then proceeded to knock Starmon into an old water tower, which was actually a hidden dark spire.

This would have been the end of the strange adventure, if both Digimon hadn't made amends and then ganged up on the lot of us, pressuring us into a card game.

…I don't even like cards…

Despite our protests of needing to leave, the only way we were able to 'escape' was when both of them fell asleep from the previous fighting, and lack of sustenance.

Throughout this brief adventure I had been watching Miyako and Sora, having been paying more attention to peoples characteristics as of late. The two of them play a similar role as that of the group's older sister. Both are loyal and strong willed, having strong bonds with their Digimon – both bird-types – and have the uncanny ability to think on a similar level. Mostly I had been impressed by how quickly Miyako seemed taken with Sora, as if the two had met in another life, or some-such thing.

I've been thinking a lot about our crests too. For instance: the Crest of Love. Love is a strong relationship with another person, and is usually defined by how a person acts towards the other. Usually Love is shown by how a person is protective of their friend, and is sometimes shown through smaller actions, like getting together.

Love is actually kind of like a stronger bond of friendship. A person who is very close to another would define that bond as 'love', though because the word itself has long since been taken and twisted out of context, the only real word we had for a strong relationship is usually 'Friendship'.

It was quiet in the classroom, save the scratch of pencil on paper, and the faint cough or scrap of a chair, every now and then. Students trying to distract themselves and others by any means necessary, in an attempt to break humdrum of silence and focus, which is truly unnatural for the horde of youth, crammed into the room together.

Well, come to think of it, they were probably all thinking how nice it would be if it were that quiet. Then at least the monotonous voice of their teacher wouldn't be stealing what little sanity they had.

"As you can see, ladies and gentlemen, X equals Y, Y equals 14, and lickity split, Q equals 37. Now, isn't that...interesting?"

_'The hell…?'_ Daisuke blinked, eyeing the teacher worriedly.

Personally the math teacher was one of his favourite, as he was quite patient with those kids who didn't enjoy maths, and was often known to give them enjoyable activities, instead of school-work. He also tried to hide his history-teacher drone with lingo and random remarks, which often threw the students off their work entirely. But hey, so long as he didn't try 'talking their way'!

Trying the formula for himself, Daisuke rubbed his eraser over the mess of lines in his exercise book, and wrote out the equation: X Y, Y 14, Q 37.

Frowning, Daisuke looked back to the board, and finished the equation for the poor, confused adult: X 14, so X 23 Q There, that looked a little better.

"'Kari?" _What the?_

Daisuke looked up from his correcting to see Takeru standing up at his desk, looking over at their friend of Light. She seemed to have been dozing, and had been suddenly jolted to reality by the blonds voice.

"Huh?" the unintelligible response bubbled from his lips. "What's going on?"

Just then Hikari half-fainted, falling from her chair.

"Hikari!" One of the girl's friends – who sat behind her – cried out in shock, worried for her friend.

It wasn't long before Hikari was dismissed to the nurse's office, half-recovered from her fainting spell, and leaving quite a few worried friends watching after her, Daisuke being one of them

_'And the award for most confusion in one week goes too…?'_ The boy sighed slightly at his thoughts and stood to show his corrections to the teacher. After all, everyone else was too busy talking about recent events, to notice one more unusual occurrence.

It was much later when Takeru just about bowled the burgundy-headed one over, in an attempt to reach the nurses office before him. Needless to say the youth was stunned, and after gaping after the blond for a few seconds, he barely registered the one coming up behind him.

"Yow!" He leapt about a mile; spinning to face the one who'd prodded his Black-and-blue, scarred back. "…Iori?"

"Uhm…" The small boy blinked up at his friend, looking confused and embarrassed. He then bowed his head, clasping his hands together at his forehead. "Gomen nasai!"

"Uh, no!" Daisuke quickly waved his hands at the other boy wildly. "It's okay! You just gave me fright, that's all! Sorry!" Finding himself rambling again, he quickly stopped; though mostly because Iori was giggling at him.

While the two headed together towards the music room, Daisuke informed Iori of Hikari's 'episode' during class. The smaller boy's emerald orbs flickered slightly as he processed this new case.

"Well…" He started slowly, gaining his 'Sensei's' attention. "The past couple of days have been quite hot."

"It is the middle of summer." Daisuke said, tone more helpful and encouraging, then critical.

"There are a number of reasons for a fainting spell in the middle of class." Iori nodded slowly. "I don't think it had anything to do with her being sick, or anything like that."

"I wasn't too worried, just curious." The younger nodded again.

"Still… what about Takeru?"

"Hmm…?" Daisuke eyed his friend idly. "He seemed pretty worked up. I'm not surprised, though. The two of them have been through a lot, and do care for each other a great deal. Mostly I think…" He blinked, stopping his words as quickly as they came.

"You think…?" Iori prodded. No response. "Davis?" The older sighed.

"I think Takeru cares for Hikari very much, and was quite worried about her. It's probably best if we don't push the matter – either way – so as not to worry him any more."

"'Either way'?"

Iori had recently 'discovered' Daisuke's inquisitive nature, and how he seemed to be able to figure things out. It had been by accident one time when he'd questioned the difference in a traffic light to the main ones. The explanation he'd gotten hadn't been one he'd expected.

"Meaning don't try and make it into a big deal, or he'll freak out. But don't pretend it's not a big deal, or that'll encourage him. Okei?"

"Hai… Okei." Iori smiled. "Miyako-san wanted to try something this afternoon with the D-terminals, will you come to the Computer room with me?"

Daisuke turned to eye the boy beside him. The two were only a few feet from their destination now, as they'd been talking as they walked. He smiled slightly at the request, knowing that Iori was more referring to Daisuke's 'new side', rather then an escort. He had tried this the other day, when the smaller boy had gone to visit Koushiro – trying to bring Daisuke 'out of his shell'. It was a sweet gesture, in his eyes anyway.

"Aa. I'll be there."

"Arigato!" Of course, Daisuke was doing the same to him, wether he knew it or not. The two smiled.

Iori prodded the keys of the school piano, following the basic instructions on the sheet in front of him. He repeated them over, trying to get used to the notes and his own fingering.

E-E-F-G-G-F-E-D-C-C-D-E-E-D-D – E-E-F-G-G-F-E-D-C-C-D-E-D-C-C 

Forest-green eyes peered up over the top of the piano, to the other side of the room. There he saw his teacher sitting at an empty desk, writing in a small notebook. He was nodding his head in time to the tune the younger boy was playing, as he wrote line after line into the vastly filling pages.

Finally coming to the end of the page, Daisuke looked up to see his student watching him, face blank, though still curious. The Brown-eyed pre-teen blinked, before smiling slightly at the look he was receiving.

"Had enough?" he asked, seeming kind in his jest. Iori shrugged.

"The bell's going to ring soon." was the quiet reply.

"Hai." Daisuke put away his things, before standing and moving to stand beside his friends seat. The younger boy followed suit, before raising his eyes to the other boy's.

"Is that okay?"

"Eh? Oh, yeah! You're a good student, Iori. You learn pretty fast." Daisuke smiled down at him. "Tell you what! Tomorrow I'll bring some sheet music, and we'll see how that goes. Okay?"

"Hai." Iori gave a faint smile.

"Cool!"

It wasn't long before the strangest thing happened: apparently Hikari and Takeru had some sort of encounter with another world, which was only possibly a part of the Digital World. It was – Takeru described – like a negative image of our Digiworld, in which Viral seemed to roam, and even the light of a lone lighthouse was Black.

Having heard this I got to thinking: the Digital world was probably made around the same time as the internet, being that it seemed to be created from the overflow of Data from our own world. But in a sense its creation was also reliant on imagination.

So heres how I see it: before the internet, Digiworld may have existed in another form, kind of like how Humans were supposedly once Neanderthals, or protoplasm, or whatever. This pre-world would have been a lot more chaotic then the present form, as everything would be shifting around; kind of like a Dream World. Along came the Internet, giving more information into the Dream World, bringing order, and stability, causing it to evolve into the Digital World.

Now this Dark World is kind of like the opposite of the Dream World, like how we have the Human race, and the Animal Kingdom. While one path carefully mixed Data into the Dream World, another simply became more stable, but no less chaotic then the original form. This Dark World, then, a different, primitive form of the Digiworld, in which the Viral would have been a part of – like a Nightmare World. This of course would explain so much, considering the physics of Digiworld, and most of its inhabitants…

People like Hikari are quite sensitive to different plains, wether it be spiritual, or that of the other worlds surrounding ours. All these worlds: Dejitaru, Yami, Yume and Reiteki na, are intertwined with our own, holding each other up, and overlapping erratically. Each own upholds the other, and strengthens the foundations of the world above it.

This of course means that our own worldly plain consists of many different other worlds, one on top of the other. I guess if you look at it in perspective, our plain, along with the others, is like a giant loop. Our World is holding up another, which holds up another. There are worlds holding up our plain as well, but since each plain is different, with little to no view of an increase in strength, then it cannot be formed like that of a column; because that would mean progression within each world, starting with the most primitive, and leading up to the more complex.

This can't be true, because of the existence of chaos in all our worlds. If there was a line of progression – or evolution – in each world, but slight differences to each one, then in one world Chaos would be the progression, instead of order. If that were so, then that world would eventually be destroyed, and if one part of a column were destroyed, then the rest would fall as well, no matter how complex or perfect the top or bottom world.

But if the worlds were joined in a loop of sorts, each one upholding the other, then the chaos of one world, could be balanced by the chaos of another. Meaning the existence of the Dark World is to balance the existence of another world, in this case: Dejitarukai.

Hikari is like one of those people who is given a glimpse into another world, and then is inspired by it in some way. Throughout history there were many people who made discoveries – they claimed to have seen in dreams – which changed the world in some way. Inventors, writers, leaders and scientists, all being given a brief glimpse of another world, and finding a way to intertwine it into our own.

By this theory, I believe our worlds aren't joined by a loop, like that of a circle. No, I think that the loop of our worlds is like that of a Mobias loop, overlapping, and twisted together.

This is meant to be the perfect balance of harmony and chaos, in which we live and prosper. This is the true form of our existence.

…

I should probably slow down my intake of psychology; I'm starting to scare myself…

Anyway. Back to Hikari…

Tailmon had come running in just as she'd disappeared. Though we tried to find her in the Digiworld it was of no use, and Takeru had seemed convinced she wasn't even in the Digiworld. In fact, he kept going on about a beach, just before running out.

Iori had mentioned there was no use for going to the Digiworld, if we didn't know exactly where Hikari was. Despite this I had an odd feeling involving the ports, and tried anyway… nothing happened. I guess feelings usually override thoughts.

Anyway, while we were trying to figure this out it turns out Hikari had been taking to that 'Dark Ocean' I was rambling about earlier. There, Hikari helped free some Scubamon, which weren't really Scubamon (Just to be confusing), who tired to make her their Queen against their underwater master.

Personally I'm hoping we don't find out exactly what's happening there any time soon.

When retelling us later at Takeru's place – in which I spent the whole time staring at the same page in one of my workbooks for about two hours – Hikari was saying how the 'Not-so-Scubamon' asked for her help, because of her 'great power'. Of course they must have been referring to her inner light, the reason for her Crest of Light.

Quite a few people are gifted with an inner light, which means their spirit is stronger in a sense that they are more in tune with the world around them. Some might think of this as 'psychic', but in reality it's more of a gift of empathy. I guess this 'power' along with other virtues, are a bit more physical in some of the other worlds.

Again with the skipping of days (This entire entry was written on a Sunday, while all this happened during the week) I present to you: more destined… yeah.

Okay, long story short: We were wandering the Digiworld and the signal of a Dejimental came from nearby, se we went to investigate. We were all kind of hungry having skipped lunch, and been wandering the other world most of the day. We found a restaurant and stopped for a bite… yes, in the Digiworld; It was owned by a Digimon called Digitamamon, an egg-Digimon. What fun this day was turning out to be.

Anyway, he wouldn't accept our Yen, since we didn't have any Digi-dollars, and we going to make us do clean up or something to pay for the food. Sounded fair to me… I was intelligent today and left Miyako to argue with the bossy Digimon, while constantly keeping my mouth shut.

Just then a random Gaijin appeared, offering to pay for our meal. Yeah, my brain didn't want to work either… Anyway, it turns out his name was Michael, and he was a friend of Mimi's. Not only that, but he's a Digidestined, and his partner is a Betamon.

We learned that during the same time, one summer about 4 years ago, when Digimon were appearing in the real world, we all had an encounter with one in some way. I was at the Convention center, with my family, when the Bakemon showed… hence my dislike for the nuisances.

Miyako sent e-mails during the battle with Diaboramon, and Iori's plane had to make an emergency landing, because of the appearance of the Digiworld in the sky.

By this theory, however, there may have been more Digidestined in the world: maybe hundreds! Scary thought ne?

Anyway, Mimi managed to befriend Digitamamon, who kindly relinquished the bill, despite Miyako riling up the poor Digimon again – though not entirely her fault, due to lack of tact. Just then there was a sudden earthquake, sending us all out the door.

It turned out to be Gorillamon, who Michael saw in New York 4 years ago. When he attacked us, however, Digitamamon got in the way to save us, but not before going flying at the shockwave. It was Michael and Mimi, with their Digimon: Seadramon and Togemon, who freed the Gorillamon, who turned out to be really nice. Kind of like an Earth Gorilla: docile until you get it mad.

With Gorillamon gone, Takeru and Hikari went off to find Digitamamon, since Mimi and Miyako were worried about him. He suddenly showed up, however, and started acting ruder then he was earlier, and I don't think it's because he's cranky.

What could we do? We had to attack him; he was obviously under the Kaiser's control. Though Mimi did go Hikari on us and tried talking him out of it, which didn't work I should add. Miyako didn't seem too impressed, and did her best in trying to protect Mimi.

But when Digitamamon knocked her to the ground, I think Miyako snapped. She started ranting at the egg-mon in that way she does, getting her point across that she was a friend, and not an enemy. She even admitted to having trouble-judging people from first impression – which in my opinion, people should never do – though I could have done without her dragging me into it.

She promised to be more sincere, which in turn activated the Dejimental of Sincerity… uh…

Yeah… I missed something along the way…

Utilising the Dejimental, Hawkmon was able to evolve into Shurimon, the samurai of sincerity. With the help of the recently returned Hikari and Takeru, he was able to rid Digitamamon of his Dark spiral – which was on the inside of his shell.

Later Miyako and Digitamamon made up, and were now friends. This didn't stop Miyako's boy-craze, though it was amusing when Sukamon showed up. Who knew Mimi could hit that hard? At least I know not to get girls that mad.

We saw Mimi and Michael off, and I managed to move out of earshot when he and Miyako started talking 'dating'. Honestly that girl… So long as she leaves me out of it, alls well. Jerk indeed…

Someone who is sincere is one who does not fake who they are, or what they do. They are truly themselves, and are modest in their claims. To be sincere is to not pretend about what one feels in their heart, and to be expressive about what they feel and know in their heart.

I suppose someone might define that as tactless, though in a sense I guess it just means that said person is more alive within themselves then others. Which means, of course, the Miyako is kind of like what I keep trying to be: genuinely happy, and flippant towards harsh remarks and commentary. Which would mean she's sort of my opposite.

I guess that day was her fully understanding the true meaning of sincerity, and putting it into practise in her life. Which I am sure she needs, and am glad she finally figured it out.

'Human relationships are more complex than any other relationships in the universe.

Each of us touches the lives of others in many ways we cannot see, and, in turn, each of us is touched.

We are not always aware of the love and sacrifice invested in our lives.

Were we more aware, we would be more grateful.

Here, in the interaction of our lives with those of others, lies the secret of growth and maturity."

Found in my Physics Textbook (You know; that page I was staring at for 2 hours?)

M. A. D / RedDragon / AkaiDra

End Journal Entry

Daisuke chewed thoughtfully on the breakfast bar he'd bought, scratching his pencil over the paper silently. He was quite proud of himself today, having looking through his journal earlier. His writing was improving, and he could finally use chopsticks again, after such a long time, in which has hand was shaking too much to steady.

His head didn't hurt today, which was cool, the weather being mild due to faint rain clouds above. He'd written at least 3 songs over the week, and had only yesterday begun practising again, on his guitar and keyboard, which he'd found in his closet, behind some boxes.

Chibimon happily sat in his lap, nibbling the crumbs that fell, as well as his own treat: an entire cup of mushroom soup. He seemed enthralled by the taste, with only made Daisuke laugh at his childishness.

Finishing his entry, the youth beamed at the neatly written pages, before putting away his things and finishing his late breakfast.

He leaned against the tree he'd claimed his own, and looked around at the park he was in. It was quiet, being a Sunday morning, and also being that this side of the park was hardly populated due to the proximity of the river. Yes, this was his spot of solitude, in whence none dare disturb his slumber.

"Dai-Chan?" except Chibimon. But that, at least, was welcoming.

"Hai, Chibi?" the burgundy-headed youth asked, eyes closed in semi-slumber.

"That guy over there looks like Taichi."

"Hmm?" Daisuke cracked on eye open slightly, catching a glimpse of a teen wandering the path near the river. He closed his eye again, giving a deep sigh as he slumped further. "So he does." was the dull response.

Chibimon squirmed, having finished his soup, and was now trying to get comfortable. The boy chuckled, reaching to the flask and cup to pack them away, eyes still closed. The task finished, he returned his arms to his lap, where Chibimon gratefully curled against them.

Lazy Sunday… how nice it was to experience it once more…

A/N: snore Knuckles and Ken run in, sniggering. Blue is out cold

Ken: Hurry up, before she wakes up!

Knux: Not likely! She's gone into mental overload again…

Ken: shakes head Thinking about it, and actually doing it, are 2 different things, deary…

Knux: to readers Okay Chick-a-Dee's! While Azzy's out – and can't hurt us – we're going to give you a preview of what happens later in DJ!

Ken: Mostly because Blue's taking forever, and partly because we're apparently suicidal…

Knux: Shut it! Holds up bright orange notebook All right, according to this… really weird diagram… Dai's going to get better, and there's going to be actual character development!

Ken: Ooh! …Before, or after my breakdown?

Knux: After.

Ken: Grumbles

Knux: There's a bit more Angsting, but on a happy note: she's got some nicer dreams and optimism on the way. Please note the 'dreams' – those are between – because they're a good source for picking at Daisuke's psyche!

Ken: How rude! Snatches notebook and flips some pages Hey! According to this, DJ is the prequel to 'Digital W-' Mmphh!

Knux: Tackles Ken Hush up!

AB: Wakes up as boys hit the desk leg Mir… wha…

Muses Ken & Knuckles: Retreat! Race away

AB: Meh? Looks down what is my Story-Map, notebook doing in here? And where on earth are the two dumkopfs…? Sigh Oh well… onto '5 Hobbits', I need a laugh! Leaves

Note: If the Authors Note stretches from the tip of my pinky, to the tip of my thumb, then it is just right, and not too long. (Please note: I have small hands) I am a lazy bugger… and that's all you need to know.

Extra Note: The algebra thing might sound weird cuz I don't what I'm doing, and the theory-paragraphs have little to no significance, unless you want your brain to shut down in under 10 seconds…

And the piano lesson? The song Iori is playing is the only one I can remember… Ode to Joy.

And no I'm not kidding; I did find that quote in my Physics book. Heh… Random Gaijin…

X-Extra Note: I know some of you are probably curious so I'll keep this brief:

The note about Traffic lights is something that happened to me on the way home from Youth Group at about midnight. Our driver – Jessie – noticed a road-level light on a bridge looked different from the normal lights. I then proceeded to observe that it was probably made differently, due to people walking along the bridge, and possibly having the urge to smash said light.

Apparently certain boys don't like me making intelligent theorem at midnight, while he's trying to put his brain in shut down mode. Heh, sorry Matt… Sweatdrop


End file.
